Category: My Story

Gossip Never Sleeps

Ah, yes. The classic saying, “Gossip never sleeps.” But why is that? Why talk about somebody behind their back in such a manner that people would see you as a bad person? The problem with that is there’s a good chance these people are the agreeable type. So, just about anything you say they will take your side. In terms; you’re not bad to them at all.

Maybe though, there are the few that will call you out on what you tell them. Which unfortunately, they will probably just end up talking about you when you’re not around to somebody else. And that’s the unfortunate cycle we live in.

Insecurities

We all come from different backgrounds. Whether good or bad, rich or poor, there’s only so much you can blame on how you were raised. Maybe it’s got something to do with being more privileged than others. Where you aren’t even aware of your actions and how you are when others aren’t even around to defend themselves.

I get it though. Most of the gossip happens when we’re younger. We honestly don’t know any better. That’s what comes with being young, you’re naive. But as we age, we learn. We learn about how terrible we were and what we said about others. Yet, I’ve witnessed even as older adults, the bad-mouthing still remains with some.

Your level of intelligence should not matter one bit. Except it’s even worse when the individual is smarter. And that’s because they know how to be more subtle about it. Your life cannot be that dull where you have the need to spice things up hoping to get a rise out of someone. If that is the highlight of your day, then I do hope that you become aware of your actions and choose to change yourself for the better.

If not… well, let’s just say I want nothing to do with you.

Put Gossip to Bed

The thing is, we all have problems in life that we have to deal with on our own, like it or not. But that doesn’t mean we can’t seek help or guidance to give us what we need to come to a decision in the choices we make.

Life just is. And because everyone is going through it, you don’t have to make someone else’s life more difficult by adding to their fire. That’s why I personally, especially in a professional setting, am kind to others. You can’t always know if somebody is having a good or bad day. The least you can do is offer them positivity.

Your actions, no matter how big or small, can pay dividends to those who need it… even if they don’t ask for it.

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Life After Graduation

“Congratulations class of…”… and there it is. That moment you’ve been waiting for. You and your graduating class celebrating together one last time. Not knowing if you’re actually going to see each other again. When you think about it, it’s pretty wild… but unfortunately sad. The next question to ask yourself is… what now?

Reflecting

Looking back in my past was something I did often. Maybe one too many reminiscing moments. But it wasn’t always a bad thing. I got to appreciate the good times I had when just about everything was so much simpler. Smart phones weren’t around then. Plus, I had almost no responsibilities compared to what I’m dealing with now. I don’t pick my nose as often. Boy, that was something! I constantly picked my nose when I was younger. Never ate the boogers though. Anyway, I kind of grossed myself out a bit.

There were many great things about my time growing up. For instance; most household had one telephone, which was a landline. So, if you were trying to get a hold of someone, you had to actually wait and see who would pick up the phone before having a conversation. It was that or we would go over to the person’s home to see if they wanted to hangout. You could have an interaction with almost every family member of the person you’re trying to see. And thinking back at it now, that is pretty cool. Especially if you’re the type that likes to make conversation.

Speaking for myself, but who knows, maybe many of you would agree, that what I miss the most when I was going to school was… pretty much all of it. Even though my mindset seemed to be elsewhere, because I’ll be honest, I did not care for half of my classes. For the most part, I really wanted to build relationships, have friends, and never ask out most of the girls I was crushing on. Best way to put it, I was easily distracted, which explains why my schoolwork was subpar. Thinking back at it, I’m pretty sure I had A.D.D.

What Now?

However your time was spent during your school years, let’s just hope you made some fond memories. Of course, that will always come with some bad ones. Which is just a part of life. But school isn’t just for education. It’s an experience. Making friends, falling in love, and in those unfortunate times, getting bullied or doing the bullying. Let’s just hope lessons were learned and to those that did the bullying, it stopped. Otherwise, that’s on karma.

Even though I was nowhere near the best student in my class, or the most popular, I did enjoy my time when I was in school. Apart from a lot of mistakes I would change, but who wouldn’t make changes? What happened happened and we have to accept it. Learn and grow from it. But I do appreciate the school I went to for even providing me with an education. And not just an education, but for the classmates and teachers that have come in and out of my life and most importantly, the memories. It’s the memories that define us. How we use it in our everyday lives from what we learned from it.

So, whether you have chosen to continue your education further into college, or to do something else, consider that a new chapter in your journey. There’s so much world out there. Make the most of it!

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Writer’s Block

It’s happened before and more than likely will happen again. As writing can be very therapeutic for you, you just can’t help but have those days where nothing comes to you. Whether it’s an article, book, or anything else, the canvas is going to be blank. So, how can you change that? What’s causing you to have writer’s block?

In the last couple of months, writing for me has been incredibly difficult. Not just from lacking the creative mindset to put in the work, but with how I’m living my life as well. During this time, I’ve been completely unmotivated to work on any of the handful of projects I have going on. My free time consisted mostly of laying on the couch and watching TV or playing video games. Which I understand that the mind needs some time off from the real world. But where does it come from? Does it ever end? Or is it normal because life just is?

A short time ago I actually did something I only imagined doing but was not sure if I would need to. A went to seek help from a therapist. After my doctor’s visit, I was missing something in my life that kept me from being truly happy. That’s when he recommended I see a therapist. What came from this after just one session was that I felt like I might have been juggling one too many things that I wanted to do with my life almost all at once.

The other big thing I learned was not holding myself accountable. When it comes to some of my jobs, I’m great! I do the best of my abilities during my time at work. I show up when I have to, perform the task given to me and crush it. If only I could say the same to the many projects I’m currently or been working on for some time now. It’s the aspect of other people that I don’t want to let down. When it’s just me, I am responsible for myself. Am I just used to letting myself down knowing there’s no repercussions?

The seriousness of letting yourself down might be more punishing than what’s shown on the surface. Coming from someone who almost constantly looks ahead into the future. The days that turns into weeks and even months that goes by without accomplishing anything wears me down mentally. That disappointment of no real achievements and the constant let downs. It’s heartbreaking.

Anyway, by seeing a therapist, I want to better myself. I know something is off and know that change needs to happen. What it comes down to, at least for me, is that by having someone that I go to for help, I see them as a mentor. Someone I don’t want to let down. After just one session, I’m confident that every day will be better as long as I continue to work on myself.

So far, I’m already seeing progress. Up until this very post, I had been writing from home. Something I am implementing is changing location. It could be that the atmosphere or my surroundings was causing me my lack of motivation to write or work on anything I have going on. For anyone else out there that’s dealing with something similar, give it a shot. A change of scenery could do you wonders!

And if you’re like me, single yet ready to mingle, it could be a great way to meet people and potentially build a friendship, colleague, or even a mate… but only time will tell.

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A Long Time Ago, I Farted

Going back to my childhood, not long after moving into our first house with my family, I was with my brother and sister in the downstairs living room. For the most part, we were watching TV, then suddenly, my brother let’s off a fart. Like the kids that we were, everyone laughed. Shortly after, my sister would do the same. And again, more laughing. But not realizing then, I was put on the spot. I felt like it was my turn to take a fart. The only problem was I didn’t have one loaded up. But I didn’t want to disappoint everyone (which was just the 3 of us), so I did my best to release what I could. Pushing a little too hard, it was at that moment, I had to throw out my underwear. I completely shat myself!

I don’t know if there was a moral to this story. But who doesn’t like a good fart?! And just for the record, I was able to fart… it just came with bonus material.

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The Time I Failed to Be a Good Samaritan

Not that long ago, in my neck of the woods, there was a snowstorm. Well, actually, more of an ice storm. It was freezing rain. While I was at work, it started accumulating only for a couple hours. Shortly after I would get off work, I headed home. As I came to a stop at a light, I noticed a couple vehicles stuck in the middle of the road. They were slipping on the road that had built up to be icy enough to make driving difficult.

For a moment, I hesitated. Not exactly sure what I should do. But after a brief moment, I took action. Pulled my e-brake and decided to at least try to help one car out. Unfortunately, I wasn’t wearing the best shoes, so I was constantly slipping on the icy road. Trying my best to help rock their car enough to get momentum to power through… yet nothing happened.

At this point, I was now holding up traffic, so I felt the need to get back to my car and apologizing to those that weren’t able to clear their car from that slippery slope. Not only did I not help, but I caused a bit of traffic. So, it was really a lose-lose situation. The only positive note was that I did not get stuck myself.

Moral of the story, when you try to be helpful to those in distress… it’s not as easy as everyone plays it out to be. Otherwise, it really is just me. Because here’s the thing: only a couple days afterwards, I was doordashing and was picking up an order at a restaurant. When I got inside, the assistant manager was on the phone trying to get a sheriff over for something that had happen not too long ago. This other gentleman that shortly arrived after I did heard that as well.

Then, not a minute later, this individual showed up causing a scene and the guy next to me just ended up leaving. The person that was making a scene started walking back into the ’employees only’ location of the restaurant and continued to get louder. It was at that moment I noticed an employee breathing heavily. At first, I wasn’t aware of what was going on with him. But shortly after, I just decided not to waste my time and ended up leaving myself.

After getting in my car and driving off, I started doing what I do best… using hindsight. The employee that was breathing heavily to me appeared to be having possibly a panic attack. All I could think of was what I could have done differently if I was back there. Which was trying to get his attention to me and to breathe slowly and take deep breaths. Motivate him and tell him he’s doing such a good job in calming down. To let him know that there is so much greatness out there in the world and not to focus on this one bad situation.

Sadly though… I did nothing… as normal. As much as I want to help people out, especially in situations like these… I crack under pressure. It may be one of my biggest weaknesses. I want to do better. I want to help those in need… maybe I’m just afraid. Or maybe I’m just too slow. My mind doesn’t always process things as fast as I would like. Some things, yes! But others, not so much.

Maybe that’s why I fail so much in life…

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LIFE is One Misunderstanding

So, here we are again. You’re out on a Friday night, whether on a date, with friends, or family. For the most part, everything seems to be going really well. Everyone is having a good time until you make a response to something someone said. From that point on, the mood changes a bit. Now you start to overthink what you may have said at the point you felt the vibe changing. It can be subtle, so you just have to use instinct on this one. As you’re thinking to yourself while you analyze step-by-step all that happened. Is it too late? Why not say something? Or is it that you waited too long where the moment has passed?

For most people, a lot of our conversations with each other are harmless and friendly. Of course, we don’t mean to have bad intentions. Unless deep down you genuinely don’t like this particular individual. But chances are, they might feel the same way about you. You both might have a mutual friend that you don’t want to displease so in a way, you are almost just putting up with each other. That sounds incredibly unhealthy. And you both don’t want to confront one another about it either.

Anyway, the point of this is that we’re not being as honest as we should. Whether or not you are friends, family, or even with your significant other. When something is said that puts you out of your comfort zone or at ease, instead of saying something, you wind up keeping it inside. Or you wait to tell someone else about it later. For all we know, the person that said this specific thing you did not enjoy could very well be unaware of it. So, this whole time they may have no idea you resent them, or are holding a grudge against them, and they’ll never know why.

I may have mentioned this before, but I’m not big on confrontation. So, I try to avoid saying things that would hit a nerve with others. I also believe that I’m good at reading body languages so I have to use that to see for myself if what I might have said rubbed off the wrong way on people. It is so stressful sometimes trying to please people, especially if you’re out of your comfort zone. To those out there that are uncomfortable saying something in person to someone, I’m sure a simple text would do just fine. It at least gets your point across, so people know how you feel. And if they don’t care, then there’s no point to keep them around in your life.

To reiterate, whatever is being said isn’t necessarily that exact meaning. If you’re ever uncertain, just ask. It’s always good to get a better understanding of what someone said than to take things out of proportion that might not even be true. Who knows, that alone could help build a stronger relationship. I hope this helps.

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The Untold Story: Perspective

Let’s talk about people. Like our personalities, tendencies, and of course, perspectives. How every little thing that make us who we are shows how we perceive life. Some of us are caring and constantly thinking about others and their wellbeing, while others only care for themselves and will do what’s best for them, even if that means getting ahead or because they need the win, or heck, maybe they just can’t put aside their egos. Join me as we explore the minds of what makes us as individuals, who we are.

The Problem

Now, this is from my point of view. And from my experience, it’s that there are too many people in this world that are just unaware. Unaware of a lot of situations they find themselves in. A great example is how they typically only see things in black and white. Completely forgetting that there are 50 shades of grey. The thing is if you see people that are like this, they tend to believe that everything they say or how they feel is right. It’s unfortunate because it almost feels like anything you tell them they won’t believe you. So, how do you open up their minds to not be so… stubborn? Maybe you don’t. Not because you shouldn’t, but because maybe you can’t. Some people can be so far gone it’s almost impossible to change their perspective. So why bother changing it anyway?

My Story

I was in a situation that looking back on it now, was toxic. A friendship that scarred me possibly for life. Of course, being that I like to spread my joy and positivity around, there were plenty of good memories. But with that came a lot of bad ones. I guess you could say in this relationship I looked up to the person as someone who influenced my life. Back when I was much younger, I had many friends and old colleagues trying to explain to me the situation I was in. Like being teased, but more or less, being made fun of, in front of his friends. I had no idea I was being manipulated and controlled considering the many good things that had happened with us. Unfortunately, I failed to see it so much later in life. Eventually, sometime later, I finally was well aware of my relationship with this individual and ended the friendship. Did not care that it was formal or not, it just needed to end. But that scarring that it left me gave me tendencies from him that rubbed off on me. Before realizing what I became after this, I was doing similar things to people I cared about and that left our relationship vulnerable. It was only until recently that I noticed this about myself that I made changes (hopefully it’s not too late). Best way to put it, like Taylor Swift said, I’m the anti-hero.

Perspective

I believe what it comes down to is it shouldn’t matter who’s right or wrong, everyone has their own story. I personally love knowing what plays out from anyone’s point of view. First of all, it’s eye opening so you have a better understanding from someone else’s perspective. They are the narrative. So long as the story adds up. But also, everyone has a past. From how they were raised and all the people and things they were surrounded by growing up played a role in their lives. Every little detail that makes us all unique in our own different ways. That’s how we look at life. All the good and bad choices that were made, all the lessons learned along the way (assuming you learned from it). Just know that whether you’ve known someone to what feels like your whole life, or a random stranger, you’ll never know the whole story behind their history. You should never judge them or disrespect them. Be kind. But also, pay attention. Not everyone has good intentions, but the one’s that do… treat them well.

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Reflecting Back on the Year 2022

Between what has been going on with the world; the Winter Olympics, an invasion turned to war, then fast forward to Argentina winning the World Cup. Yet every single one of us out there are still dealing with our own world. What we have to do on a day-to-day basis whether it’s living or surviving. And that’s life. It moves forward with or without us. Our actions, choices, can determine the outcome if we are able to move forward with life as well. How you face your problems is on you. This is the story of the problems I had to deal with this past year…

The New Year

As 2022 had just gotten underway, I started a new job. Now working as a barista along with being a host at a restaurant, juggling these 2 jobs was very manageable. I still had some free time for myself, but it wasn’t long before I decided to quit my restaurant job. Having been there about 6 months, I became pretty comfortable with myself around several of my colleagues. But something was different. That last stretch that I was there, I was picking up negative vibes. As a host, I only was responsible for so much, yet I ended up doing a lot more than I should have. Every once in a while wasn’t so bad, but this became constant. I didn’t feel appreciated. My last week on the job, my boss wanted to have a 1-on-1 of where I’m at with the job and I told him how I felt. Then, all of a sudden everyone started including me into these conversations with them, yet I still quit. Not sure the main reason why, but the fact it took me having to tell my boss this before seeing some changes, didn’t sit well with me. So, now I was down to one job where I was new to being a barista. Having to learn how to make all sorts of drinks and their computer system took me a while. Actually, I still don’t know how to make too many drinks. They just loved that I was great with conversating with our customers that I was mostly doing that. Which I’m perfectly fine with but it’s definitely not as easy as you might think. Try to have almost the same conversation with like 200 people every day. And that was pretty much it for the remainder of the year. I went back to driving for Doordash after taking some time off for myself. Unfortunately, the problem with Doordashing is that it comes with a cost…

You can make a living by being a Doordash driver. And I won’t tell you that it’s easy, but also that it’s not. The best way to put it, it’s not for everyone. Just like all the different types of jobs within this world. Just about every individual has a job that fits them nicely. Whether or not you like the job, it’s their so you can live, or survive for that matter. The miles do add up, and quickly. Say you put in about 20 hours a week on dashing. Depending on where you live, the miles do vary. And with that, the maintenance needed comes up much sooner. You don’t realize how often you need to get an oil change, possibly tires and your brakes, and yeah, I can go on. This has been my main issue. Without a properly decent running car, it won’t go well for you. I know I’ve had one too many problems with my car this year already, and it hasn’t been easy. I’m just thankful that my brother has been there to get me out of these tough times. Because I’m not sure how I would have to handle some of these situations if I was completely alone. And for that, I am so grateful for him!

Learning The Hard Way

By now I have already let the paranoia take over from my smoking days. I picked up on some things I may have been right about, and some that was wrong, probably. From an old colleague that I believe was preparing to fight me, to thinking some of my closest friends just had it out for me. Sometime after I stopped smoking, I took a real long look at my life. Reflected back on not just the past year, but as far back as I can remember. And without realizing it, I saw myself as a know-it-all. When it comes to so many subjects and topics, I had some knowledge about them. Of course, with that I was almost constantly correcting others or had to put my “ten cents” into perspective. It threw me off that I didn’t know what to do. So, pretty much the next time I was around people, and we would have a conversation, I went back to my old roots that I knew growing up… staying quiet. Unless someone was talking to me specifically about something. Ever since I was a child, I was never too comfortable around a larger crowd or even a small group of people that I would just listen and stay quiet. Learning how everyone acts in their comfort zone. Which is one of the main reasons why I like to consider myself as a lone wolf. Never truly fitting in. But I’m okay with that and don’t mind being by myself. It can be lonely at times but also, it’s quiet and peaceful.

The problem starts when nobody tells you their issue they have with you. But also, let’s hope it’s just one issue and not too many more. I get it! It is extremely difficult to tell someone a problem you have with them that you just cannot say in person unless you’re immediately confronted by it somehow. For those that are able to, good for you. Worst comes to worst, you can always send a text.

You can’t always get something right the first time. With one of my jobs, I have many opportunities talking to customers. For a brief moment, I get to find out how their day is going or maybe seeing what they have planned, and many other options. With some people, I would take the conversation too far down my comfort zone… alright, since you didn’t ask, I told them for some dumb reason, when I see a full moon out, I would howl… yeah, I told them that. Right before they left, I noticed a slight eye roll. That’s when I knew to dial it back a bit. But it’s a learning curve or whatever that phrase is called. I tend to be really good at reading people and their body language, I will notice even the subtleness of signs. Except for when I’m flirting. My mind cannot process that right away. It’s a curse.

However, I am getting better. Every day that I’m given the opportunity, I am working on myself hoping to make people’s day, at least for that moment. But no matter how brief the moment is, if I am able to leave a positive vibe on their mood or can make their day, I know that’s a memory that they can take with them.

Just remember if you’re determined to have a better year, it’s just a calendar. Don’t wait for the year to change. You are given the opportunity. You have the choice. There’s no better time than now.

Hope you have a happy New Year and stay safe!

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What Do YOU Think About… in Life?

The billion-dollar question nobody is asking. As I was sitting there on the toilet doing my business and without my phone, I had a moment to think… like what had happened earlier that day at work. A conversation I had with a colleague of mine, whom I was attracted to (not sure if I used that correctly, the whole “who” “whom” thing).

Anyway, Christmas music was on, we sang a little bit, then I told her how in one of my past lives I was Santa Claus. She told me that was not true which led me to explaining to her that I know when people are being naughty or nice. In turn, she laughs but what surprised me the most, and never expected, she tells me she was Mrs. Claus. And that blew my mind, I was caught off guard. So much was going on in my head, but I had to say something. And by the way, what happened next was not my finest hour (which happens a lot), I said a few words which I can’t remember, but all I know is that it was followed by me laughing the words, “ho, ho, ho!”… and just like that, I ruined the moment, again.

As I tried to recover, it was already too late. The moment had passed, and we just ended up going back to working. But also, when I did finally say something after laughing like Santa it was maybe like 30 seconds later. And when you’re in the moment, 30 seconds can feel like an eternity.

Now that you’re all caught up, let’s fast forward to when I was pooping. When I was sitting there, the thought of what happened at work crossed my mind again. What I think about almost always is what I could have done differently. That and put myself in similar scenarios so I could prepare for a next time that almost never happens. The thing about these moments in life is that most of the time, you only get one.

I couldn’t help but think what was going through her mind; “Does David like me?” “Maybe he’s not interested?” Especially how I reacted to her perfect Mrs. Claus response. As I’m trying to look at this from her perspective, she’s throwing me these vibes that I’m so clueless to figure out. Not right away at least. All I know is that I don’t know. Only what seems to be, and that is she made her move and I failed to see it.

The countless times I play these scenarios in my head for what could be possible is that I want to impress her. The fact that I put so much time and thought into this can only mean that I really care about her. Because I want things to go right, but when it actually plays out, it’s so much better. I just mess it up, terribly! Opportunity can literally come knock on my door, and I’ll be too clueless to figure it out.

Basically, my love life in a nutshell.

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What Makes the Holidays So Stressful?

I’m actually curious about this one. For the most part, I always look forward to the holiday season. As a kid growing up, it was time off from school and during most of my high school years, I would forever be playing Socom II (basically what Call of Duty is to everyone now). An online game when we had to plug in ethernet cables to our PS2s. I could probably go all day down this road of nostalgia, but we’ll continue on.

When adulthood was new to me, I had to maintain a steady job, which took me a while considering my history of working at over 30 different places. But same thing when I was in school, as the holidays near, I was excited for time off. Only this time it was playing Call of Duty and a bunch of Mountain Dew & Doritos for that double XP.

The thing is, I enjoyed going shopping for presents to give to friends and family. I would think back throughout that entire year from what I can remember and correlate anything to buy for each individual. So far, I have yet to craft something with my hands for that special someone or just anyone that I care about so I can tell them that cliché line, “It’s the thought that counts!”

And that’s just it! Taking a little time to yourself to think about the people you would like to get gifts for come the holidays. I understand I guess how it can be stressful when you’re not sure what to get certain people, which then ends up with you getting a bunch of gift cards. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. Sometimes you aren’t able to see friends or some family members as often as you would like which brings up uncertainty. And that is perfectly fine!

So, my curiosity is that I would like to know what stresses you out about the holidays. I’ve never done this before, but feel free to drop a comment so I can have a better understanding. Maybe someone close to you passed away around these times. I don’t know, but I really would love to hear from you. Whatever your reasons, be safe, and have a happy holiday season!

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