What Makes the Holidays So Stressful?

I’m actually curious about this one. For the most part, I always look forward to the holiday season. As a kid growing up, it was time off from school and during most of my high school years, I would forever be playing Socom II (basically what Call of Duty is to everyone now). An online game when we had to plug in ethernet cables to our PS2s. I could probably go all day down this road of nostalgia, but we’ll continue on.

When adulthood was new to me, I had to maintain a steady job, which took me a while considering my history of working at over 30 different places. But same thing when I was in school, as the holidays near, I was excited for time off. Only this time it was playing Call of Duty and a bunch of Mountain Dew & Doritos for that double XP.

The thing is, I enjoyed going shopping for presents to give to friends and family. I would think back throughout that entire year from what I can remember and correlate anything to buy for each individual. So far, I have yet to craft something with my hands for that special someone or just anyone that I care about so I can tell them that cliché line, “It’s the thought that counts!”

And that’s just it! Taking a little time to yourself to think about the people you would like to get gifts for come the holidays. I understand I guess how it can be stressful when you’re not sure what to get certain people, which then ends up with you getting a bunch of gift cards. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. Sometimes you aren’t able to see friends or some family members as often as you would like which brings up uncertainty. And that is perfectly fine!

So, my curiosity is that I would like to know what stresses you out about the holidays. I’ve never done this before, but feel free to drop a comment so I can have a better understanding. Maybe someone close to you passed away around these times. I don’t know, but I really would love to hear from you. Whatever your reasons, be safe, and have a happy holiday season!

Multiple Personalities: Everyone has it

Throughout not just my working career, but also my life career, I have taken notice of a lot of variations of human behavior. And what that boils down to is the personality of the person. Like what their character shows when they’re out in the public, versus being at home (or anytime they’re alone). Most people that I have met seems to show multiple sides to them. As if they were to have a split personality, are bi-polar, or even have mood swings. From my point-of-view, they are all somewhat one in the same thing (don’t quote me on this). With that, and I hate to say this for myself, is why you can’t please everyone.

From friends, family, colleagues, and even random strangers, you don’t know what to expect. Which is why before you start judging someone when you first greet them (i.e., a customer), and they have a neutral or negative response, don’t think anything of it. They could be having an off day. Take me for example; most days I will always do my best to make people laugh or try to make their day brighter with some positive reinforcement. And then on rare occasions when life just doesn’t seem to be going my way, I will be sad and depressed. I don’t hide my feelings all that much, meaning I’m quite the expressive person. But maybe that’s not such a bad thing. It will let people know when something is wrong and it kind of sets their mood a little bit when they don’t see me happy.

The problem with me is that when I see someone like a colleague that is expressing this other personality (good or bad, but mostly bad), I tend to analyze the situation and see what I can do to resolve the issue. Or do what I can to prevent it from happening again. But forgetting that some things are out of my control, and I cannot help those that are going through whatever situation it is they are going through. All I can do is stay out of the way or help out by offering an ear to listen and possibly give advice, but only if they ask or are willing to take it. I’d like to consider myself as an unofficial non-licensed therapist (which is why I should really consider trying freelance on fiverr or something… tell your friends!)

So, what are you supposed to do when it comes to dealing with others that are having off days? Answer is, not much different than what you normally do. Like I said before, if it’s a customer, treat them with kindness and respect. Because for all you know, that could be enough to turn their day around. Don’t try to force yourself into anyone’s problems if they don’t ask for it. The best thing you can do is just offer. Offer your time, listen and pay attention to what they tell you if they need to vent. But for the most part, there really isn’t anything else you can do. The rest is up to them.

We all need saving. It’s just the matter of asking for help.

(My) Office Romance I

There’s no denying the sexual tension between you and at least one of your colleagues, at least during one point in your working career. I’m sure to any The Office fans out there, or at least have watched enough, you know about Jim and Pam’s relationship. All that tension they had and build up before getting together. A lot of people have fantasized that being them, unless of course you’re married or in any other status. But there’s nothing wrong with looking. We’re human. It’s in our nature to wonder. And then there’s curiosity. If you let that take control of you, then you’ve cheated on your partner. As always, I’m getting beside the point. However, if you are single then curiosity is welcomed. It’s just the matter of having the courage to asking out this individual that makes you feel vulnerable inside. And that’s where I come in…

Work History

Since graduating high school, I spent the next several years working from one job to another, and another. So much so, the number of jobs I’ve had is somewhere over 30. I stopped keeping track when I got to around 25 or so. With some of these jobs however, I did happen to find attraction towards my coworker. Whether or not we worked together or just being in the same building. Like to the point I would turn my head so far over I’ll end up running into something. Time moved a bit slower for me, music playing inside my head, and then I would end up missing out on yet many other opportunities. Mostly because since time slowed down for me while the music is in the background, to everyone else time was moving normally. So, they would just pass on by without even knowing I existed. At least that’s what I figured at the time. I know, I’m aware of how sad that is. But on the other side, these stories do have an ending.

First Job Crush

Let’s take a look at my first official job I started out at. I was 16 and started working at McDonalds. How I got this job, I have no idea, at least at the time. Crushing the interview only to see me in my true nature in the public. Being this quiet, shy, cute (I could go on…) young teenager working in a fast-paced environment. I worked as a cashier, but it was short lived considering 3 weeks was how long I was a McDonald’s employee before getting let go. My boss at the time said I didn’t appear to be motivated enough in the establishment. Which I don’t blame her for that. I knew I wasn’t. Especially being quiet and shy. Times were different for me back then. But during my 3 weeks there, I just so happened to have stumbled upon what I believe, was an angel. She was this stunning blonde with an aura that lit up my eyes working the drive-thru window. The music that was playing in my head at the time was probably Boyz II Men’s I’ll Make Love to You. I was hardcore into R&B at the time so it’s safe to say I knew all about that baby making music, even though I was still a virgin. But all of that was a never was. Like I mentioned before, I only worked there for 3 weeks so I had no clue if she was single or dating someone. She did ask me something during a time we were slow at work, but I forgot what it was. Thinking about it now, she was probably just trying to make conversation and wanted to get to know me a little better. Unfortunately, never got a chance to find out too much more. It was what felt like another lifetime ago.

When it comes to having your first job, depending on who is raising you, ask them first. Figure out if you’re ready to get out there in the world. Out in the eyes of the public. Although, there are many negatives and cruelty with the public, there are also positives and even enlightenment. You could learn so much from a job, and not just what you learn at home and at school. Just like how I learned about Angels existing right in front of me. Unless my eyes are cheated by some spell. But only 10 or so feet away working the drive-thru.

Stay tuned for part II…

I Don’t Know How To Talk To Women

Before you start wondering, let me take you on a little journey from my past and put things into perspective. Growing up I wasn’t the greatest by any means when it comes to socializing with people in general. And when it comes to girls (especially if I had a crush on them), I would only know them through school, because they were my classmates. Then as I got older and started working, same thing, the women that were my coworkers I would be introduced by someone training me or if I had any questions. If you took those out of the equation, I would most likely get my confidence talking to them from an old friend, Mr. Liquid Courage himself, alcohol. Breaking the ice was, and still is, one of my biggest weaknesses. Whether I see a beautiful, cute, and/or sexy woman (or whatever adjective you want to use), it’s like I get stage freight. Especially if I want to talk to them. Because the truth is, I want to get to know them. Know their likes, dislikes, what they’re passionate about, have arguments over things that don’t matter. Even accidentally slip out a fart every now and then (let’s hope those aren’t on days I have a protein shake).

Anyway, you get the point I’m making. But what seems to be worse than these is what has happened to me lately. Although, I may only meet some women I find myself attracted to at work, it’s as if someone somewhere out there that I would consider to be of a higher power seems to take them away from me. On two occasions both women that I like ended up moving away. And not like down the street away, but to a completely different state. This not long after having a connection with them. But only for a moment I thought I might have been the reason why. The thing is I haven’t tried to make a move, do or say anything to make them feel awkward. They’re my coworker and that would change everything the next time I see them. Or what if it’s because I didn’t make a move? I’m sure that can’t be it. But I digress. Whatever the situation, I’m still alone which can be lonely sometimes. Not to say that I don’t like being by myself but there are times when I really would like to have the comfort of a woman with me. For all I know they could bring me one step closer to achieving my goals and dreams. The motivation that I hate to admit, lack more often than I would like. The drive that gets me out of bed every morning to take on the day with high hopes! But… it looks like I’ll have to do this on my own. I just have to be patient a little longer. I’m sure soon I will be able to find myself much closer to happiness.

Human Connection

It’s missing! Well, maybe not entirely. But it does feel like we’re losing it. Other than your colleagues, close friends you made growing up, or your family (which all may seem like a lot but), we don’t really put ourselves out there anymore. It’s the reason why some movie theaters shut down, places like Blockbuster closing, and the slowly dying mall with what used to have an arcade. All because we can do it within the palm of our hands. Buying clothes and accessories, or streaming movies and shows, it’s causing us to lose that human connection with the rest of society. So, how do we fix it? That may not be the right question to ask. Maybe some people prefer it that way. And for others, if they wonder what they could do to connect with the rest of the world, try going out. Instead of ordering your groceries and just pulling up to the parking spot, you could get out of your vehicle and do the shopping yourself. Also, instead of buying clothes online… there’s the mall! Want to meet like-minded people who also likes to workout at the gym? You could get a membership and maybe not have to workout alone at home. And who knows, maybe you might meet a potential mate. Or your next I Love You, Man friend you can call Brohemian Rhapsody. Just whatever floats your boat, I’ll motor it!

If we were to take it a step further; so you’re doing a little grocery shopping, head to a checkout lane with a cashier. You have an opportunity to make a conversation, other than when you’re only there to buy alcohol. If nobody you know wants to go see a movie you like, and if you haven’t already done so, go by yourself. It could be really soothing. You’re not at home on the couch like normal, you get that movie theater experience with the sounds and big screen. And as long as you have shares in AMC, you can get free popcorn or something (this last information may not be correct). Then there’s being at the gym. This one is a little trickier for me. Trying to strike up a conversation with people who are there to work on their bodies for a healthier lifestyle may be very difficult. I always feel uncertain if I would be bothering them. Then I’ll have hindsight kicking in telling me there was a chance. Like when I would bump into this young woman near the abs & stretching area, and again on the other side of the gym at the water fountain. She told me, “I swear I’m not trying to follow you.” As far as I know, she may have gone out of her way in hopes that a conversation happens, or maybe it was nothing. And what did you think my response was? I just chuckled a bit and gave her the, “no worries, you’re fine.” and walked straight into the locker room like the idiot I was. The bad ass thing to say would have been, “Well I was kind of counting on it.” Which was definitely something I thought about saying if I ever found myself in a similar situation… so far nothing. That which led me to going about my day like it was any other day. And that’s a taste of my human connection. Maybe it’s time to start exploring and possibly see what amazing adventures is yet to come in your journey. So, what are you waiting for?

My Story: Personality

“Who am I? You sure you want to know? The story of my life is not for the faint of heart…” (Tobey Macguire/Peter Parker) In this part of my life, we go into the development of my character, what it was like growing up, the movies and shows I would watch constantly, and how my personality came to be. In my family, there was no special treatment. Nobody got spoiled more than the other. I’m considered the baby of my family and oh boy, did I not get spoiled at all. At least from what I can remember. Besides that, I still had many memorable highlights of my childhood. The weekends almost always seemed to be quite unpredictable and pretty wild. Fridays we had TGIF on ABC with great lineups like Sabrina the Teenage Witch, Whose Line Is It Anyway? and others that I can’t quite remember at this time. A few other moments we had was watching old Thai Boxing (Muay Thai) videos my dad would rent from the Asian Market, and an old classic, The Gods Must Be Crazy. Who knew a simple glass Coca-Cola bottle could make such a big impact on an entire villages’ lives? I love how a movie with a simple premise could bring a family together for 90 minutes or so. That on top of other similar things was my childhood growing up. Like how we would host parties almost every other weekend. My parents were the best at it, at least in my eyes. They knew how to entertain our guests who were considered family-friends to us. Their kids were about my age and a little bit younger, and very fortunately, I had my older brothers and sisters with their creativity to keep the younger crowd entertained. From playing video games to using our imagination and constructing a maze in our basement was one of them. We crushed it! And for that, I’m very thankful for the inspiration my siblings and parents brought me.

Personality

The characters that we all play make us who we are as individuals. It’s not about our gender, or the color of our skin, but what we do that defines us (that last bit was a Batman Begins reference). Throughout my life I have built this personality from watching movies and TV shows that I loved. Most of them being in the genre of comedy. Great comedians like Robin Williams, Jim Carrey, and Adam Sandler were some of my inspirations. I wasn’t sure what it was for why I turned out the way I did, but something triggered within me to want to make people laugh and enjoy themselves when we’re together. With comedy aside, I also have a more… sensual side. Suave. Maybe it’s from watching movies that weren’t quite PG rated during my younger years. Like how I love the movie Titanic in hopes that someday I could draw someone like one of my French girls! Although, I’ll admit Dumb and Dumber had some references I did not understand when I was a kid. As I got older though, the so-called chick flicks were something I was into. I’m all about love and passion. Hitch, What Women Want, and all those Nicholas Sparks books turned movies. And then there’s Austin Powers, baby! Basically, it’s not just the people we hang out with that opens up our personality, but that we get it from the movies and television shows we watch too. They can be very inspiring and gives us the motivation we need to get out of bed in the morning and depending on who you are, hoping that today is finally the day you ask that girl or boy out from school, or a coworker that you see on a daily or weekly basis.

Nowadays we can get that from just about anywhere. Whether it’s from reading certain articles on the internet or stumbling upon random YouTube videos. The human brain is constantly learning and taking in new information. We just have to listen to it and decide for ourselves what’s right, wrong, and everything in-between. Don’t let your ego or stubbornness be the reason you won’t learn. There’s no harm in being a little open-minded. Allegedly, we only live one life. Why not make the most of it? Bring positivity to those around you, even if they don’t do the same. You never know if your actions could make an impact on someone else’s life. We are our best hope for a better world. So make it count! And with that, I’ve mentioned too many inspiring words. Peace, bitches!

P.S. I forgot to mention when I was with some of my family members hanging out at my nephews 21st birthday, we were just in the garage talking and drinking. This was close to a year ago, and I was saying something very inspiring and motivational, but I can’t remember what it was due to the fact… I was with my niece and her boyfriend in their car, and I took a hit from their bowl. Pretty much my mind was clouded a bit. Anyway, whatever I said had my brother-in-law telling me that I should be what was something like a pastor for the Buddhist temple. This struck a chord within me because I knew my father was something like that (I can’t remember the title of it). He spent a lot of his time at the temple talking to the monks and played a higher role in that community. I’d like to say most of the time where I get my words of wisdom from comes from my father. There was so much about him that I would have loved to know about his past but unfortunately, I’m not able to. However, I was able to find out more about him from my oldest sister. We were hanging out during fourth of July and I asked her about him. She told me the stories she would hear from them was how respected he was. This coming from army Generals, villagers, and plenty of other people too, I’m sure. Anyway, I just thought I would share that little extra bit about my father and the role he played that made my life what it is now. Thank you!

My Story

This just might be long overdue. Why I got into writing and what my reason was to start my very own blog. Some of my goals and dreams in life, and what is in stored for my future (assuming I stay disciplined and motivated). From everything I’ve learned in my life and what was taken in from 2021, I will be dick-punching 2022 right in the face (in a good way)! So, without further ado…

Inspiration To Blog

My very first post came in May of 2021. I wanted to represent my culture, my family. Basically, where we came from, and the timing could not have been any better. It was right around Laos New Year and with traditions come good eating. We had plenty to eat, but there was one thing I left out in that story… when I got high with my sister and her boyfriend. I had taken a couple months off from smoking but thought since I was with family that I would be in good hands. That my paranoia may have subsided, at least for that moment. As Derrick (my sister’s boyfriend) and I were sitting by the fire and the high was kicking in pretty good, I was having a genuine conversation with him… which was short lived. As I was telling him a story, mid-sentence I just stopped completely because I lost track of what I was talking about. Cracking Derrick up unintentionally from that was pretty nice. Little did I know, I would end up doing it again moments later. We both laughed about it. It was a really good night. But darkness was taking me! My body just became cold. I was shivering so much I ended up being right up to the barrel where we had the fire. Thinking back to it, I knew it had something to do with being too skinny. I took it as a sign that I needed to get some meat on my bones. I know this because when I was at home and was high, I was shivering yet again and every time I would walk, it felt like my bones were rubbing up against each other.

Anyway, the reason I started blogging was because I felt unmotivated and wasn’t driven to keeping up with my YouTube channel. Instead, something that I did notice that I was doing consistently and felt good about was writing. There was less work that was needed to be done when it came to writing, in which turned into blogging. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy making videos, but there’s a lot of work put into the process; recording, audio & video quality, editing, the possibilities of reshooting and so on. At this point I thought I would just start somewhere. Do something that I enjoy doing that takes less work, but still requires a lot of thought and time put into each of my posts. And with that comes what you see now!

Writing

Getting into writing was not a task at all. To me, it felt like second nature. When I got into it, I just went on for days. And considering I have somewhat of an OCD and am a perfectionist, it was easy for me to categorize subjects and topics. So, breaking down these topics and redefining them into details was a piece of Betty Crocker cake. I couldn’t just say cake because there’s a butthole of work put into that. Anyway, writing! I also mentioned this in my earlier posts, when I built my first PC it didn’t take long for me to get into writing. The topics that I have written down so far were for my future blogs and trying to schedule all of it, along with different types of videos for my YouTube channel that is on hold for the moment. However, I like to say that I’m an idealist. Just give me some time, be patient, and I promise to my followers that I will bring some video content, especially for those who aren’t the biggest readers. And speaking of, I was not the biggest reader myself. I used to be all about videos but after a little soul searching, I never realized that I enjoyed reading a lot more than I thought. Articles on the internet and other bloggers, reading people’s stories and their ingredients from Pinterest was… reading! I know this is more than likely debatable but, reading helps build your personal vocabulary. Your own dictionary. When I was much younger, I only had the use of simple words and was not creative or open minded enough to reach out to a larger vocabulary. I really do hope that in the future that the urban dictionary does not take over the dictionary that I knew growing up. All these slangs and terms that are used nowadays. That’s all I want to say about that. On to the next…

Goals and Dreams

One of the things that I always wanted when it comes to a place to live was to be a studio/loft type of apartment. Where there are exposed beams, an accent brick wall, and typically hardwood flooring. The thing about that is you’re not going to find those styled apartments just anywhere. They’re located downtown and as of recent, that’s where I could see myself spending a good chunk of my life in. So, one of my goals in this 2022 year is to move downtown into the city. To have that feeling where most of what I’m looking for is a walk away. Less fuel usage and miles build up on my car. Another thing I’ve noticed is how difficult times are lately, especially with what Covid has brought upon us. And something that I want to do is help people take the edge off by wanting to create content on my YouTube channel and bring smile and laughter to ease the tension and stress to all. So, in this new year I am going to have to be focused and stay disciplined on creating fun and enjoyable content. But I also have to remember to do this for me as well. Having fun with this passion of mine, otherwise it just becomes work.

Considering my current situation, one of my dreams in life is to have my own studio. A place where I can go to and perform my great work of art. From making videos to having a chill vibe environment for writing my blog. To me it is difficult having my work inside my own home because I might not get a lot done. I figured if I have my own studio, it will require me to leave my own home and I could get more work done. That’s the concept I have going on at least. But not just for writing and making videos, having a podcast and a recreational area as well. That’s the dream! All I need to do is just take that next step towards it. We’re on our way. Let’s get it! And as they say in Blades of Glory, “Let’s capture the dream!”