Less is more… when trying to pay attention

In conversation, or lecture, when a sort of wording or phrasing is said, it strikes something within me. Almost like a small epiphany. And that, more often than not, is a big reason why I have trouble paying attention. At least in school. But I am a great listener, typically in conversation. I have gotten better now but still find myself in very similar situations quite often. Just recently I was watching a video on YouTube and could not help myself wandering through my thoughts when I heard these words/phrasing in a sentence. In a way, it’s too thought-provoking. Even if the video can be easily understood.

Here’s the thing though, some people who do feel the same way, especially in conversation might almost interrupt the person they’re talking to. Which by the way, can be rude and sadly, I’ve been there myself. But from my past experiences with a certain type of herb that made me feel like I was on a cloud, I caught myself doing that. Now for the most part, I patiently wait. I let the person I’m having a conversation with finish their statement before chiming in. See… people can change. Just take me for example. And if you don’t think that’s enough proof… my answer to that is, “trust me, bro.”

Honesty Goes a Long Ways

So, I met this woman who was sitting across the bar from me one night. She couldn’t take her eyes off of me. I know that look when I see it and wanted to find out more. As curiosity crossed my mind, I went over to introduce myself. And after getting to know each other, with a few drinks later, we went back to her place. Just because my place is a mess and I’m not proud of myself. It’s okay though, it’s probably just my depression. Anyway, back to my story. We’re back at her place and continued our conversation with a night cap. I got a little too comfortable where a fart slipped out. As embarrassed as I was, she didn’t seem to mind. Just giggled. Shortly after the smell went away, we hooked up.

Here’s the thing: the story I told, was a lie. And now you’re probably disappointed with me. But that’s okay (maybe), because I’ve had to deal with that one too many times. If you have friends that do this to you often, it makes it difficult to care what they tell you considering you don’t know if you want to believe what they have to say or what stories they tell. So, why bother?

The story that I told, still holds a lot of truth behind it. Apart from going back to the woman’s place that I mentioned, and thus leading to me manifesting the fart part, this was a really short story. Besides giving you a detailed description of my messy apartment, I was just drinking at a bar. So, what actually happened was…

“I was having a drink at the bar and noticed this woman across from me. She gave me this look. I like to call it the look of desire. So, I went over to introduce myself and as we got to know a little bit about each other, my night ended with me going home alone.”

The moral of the story is that I don’t have a clue how to close. I guess it’s just something that I never got over. Always afraid of rejection and lacking the courage to do so. However, I do enjoy conversating with people, especially if it’s a small group or a one-on-one situation. It just feels more personal.

I like to consider myself a people pleaser. I know it may not sound like a good thing, but it’s not all bad though. Just want to shine a little light onto people no matter what kind of day they are having. This whole thing is really about understanding where people are coming from. We all have a way about us that makes us do or say things that can be good or bad. But telling the truth is better than building up one lie after another. And if you want to keep certain things to yourself, by all means. Everyone should be entitled to their privacy. What you want to share is up to you.