Tag: friends

LIFE is One Misunderstanding

So, here we are again. You’re out on a Friday night, whether on a date, with friends, or family. For the most part, everything seems to be going really well. Everyone is having a good time until you make a response to something someone said. From that point on, the mood changes a bit. Now you start to overthink what you may have said at the point you felt the vibe changing. It can be subtle, so you just have to use instinct on this one. As you’re thinking to yourself while you analyze step-by-step all that happened. Is it too late? Why not say something? Or is it that you waited too long where the moment has passed?

For most people, a lot of our conversations with each other are harmless and friendly. Of course, we don’t mean to have bad intentions. Unless deep down you genuinely don’t like this particular individual. But chances are, they might feel the same way about you. You both might have a mutual friend that you don’t want to displease so in a way, you are almost just putting up with each other. That sounds incredibly unhealthy. And you both don’t want to confront one another about it either.

Anyway, the point of this is that we’re not being as honest as we should. Whether or not you are friends, family, or even with your significant other. When something is said that puts you out of your comfort zone or at ease, instead of saying something, you wind up keeping it inside. Or you wait to tell someone else about it later. For all we know, the person that said this specific thing you did not enjoy could very well be unaware of it. So, this whole time they may have no idea you resent them, or are holding a grudge against them, and they’ll never know why.

I may have mentioned this before, but I’m not big on confrontation. So, I try to avoid saying things that would hit a nerve with others. I also believe that I’m good at reading body languages so I have to use that to see for myself if what I might have said rubbed off the wrong way on people. It is so stressful sometimes trying to please people, especially if you’re out of your comfort zone. To those out there that are uncomfortable saying something in person to someone, I’m sure a simple text would do just fine. It at least gets your point across, so people know how you feel. And if they don’t care, then there’s no point to keep them around in your life.

To reiterate, whatever is being said isn’t necessarily that exact meaning. If you’re ever uncertain, just ask. It’s always good to get a better understanding of what someone said than to take things out of proportion that might not even be true. Who knows, that alone could help build a stronger relationship. I hope this helps.

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What Makes the Holidays So Stressful?

I’m actually curious about this one. For the most part, I always look forward to the holiday season. As a kid growing up, it was time off from school and during most of my high school years, I would forever be playing Socom II (basically what Call of Duty is to everyone now). An online game when we had to plug in ethernet cables to our PS2s. I could probably go all day down this road of nostalgia, but we’ll continue on.

When adulthood was new to me, I had to maintain a steady job, which took me a while considering my history of working at over 30 different places. But same thing when I was in school, as the holidays near, I was excited for time off. Only this time it was playing Call of Duty and a bunch of Mountain Dew & Doritos for that double XP.

The thing is, I enjoyed going shopping for presents to give to friends and family. I would think back throughout that entire year from what I can remember and correlate anything to buy for each individual. So far, I have yet to craft something with my hands for that special someone or just anyone that I care about so I can tell them that cliché line, “It’s the thought that counts!”

And that’s just it! Taking a little time to yourself to think about the people you would like to get gifts for come the holidays. I understand I guess how it can be stressful when you’re not sure what to get certain people, which then ends up with you getting a bunch of gift cards. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. Sometimes you aren’t able to see friends or some family members as often as you would like which brings up uncertainty. And that is perfectly fine!

So, my curiosity is that I would like to know what stresses you out about the holidays. I’ve never done this before, but feel free to drop a comment so I can have a better understanding. Maybe someone close to you passed away around these times. I don’t know, but I really would love to hear from you. Whatever your reasons, be safe, and have a happy holiday season!

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What I’m Thankful For

It’s that time of year again. If you’re getting together with family, friends, or just anyone you care about. The holidays are there to bring us closer together. Although, it can be a stressful time of year (from what I heard on the radio), it’s also a wonderful time to be grateful. As we get older, we start to appreciate the little things more. The memories we made growing up and don’t receive as much of in our adulthood.

Life is a passion. Even if it may not go as well as you would like it to. But you can always change it. Change your mindset to something positive and you may just notice things will begin to look up for you. I have experienced lots of negative situations in my life and it also took over my mindset of negative thinking. So, from there that little snowball trickled into a raging snowman, then became an avalanche (wow, that was a terrible metaphor).

Over time that can weigh you down and mess with your mindset. But you can’t let that change who you really are. There’s a caring and loving person within all of us. No matter what your motivator is, whether it’s music, TV, someone you care about, etc. you are driven to always do better. Just gotta figure out what works for you.

Which is why I’m thankful for the world we live in and the life I have. There’s greatness from everywhere within our beautiful planet. The motivation we can receive from just about everything and everyone. Even though we’re not perfect and it may seem like we’re destroying this world, it only takes one of us to change that. Do your part to inspire others and help mother nature so she can take care of us.

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Multiple Personalities: Everyone has it

Throughout not just my working career, but also my life career, I have taken notice of a lot of variations of human behavior. And what that boils down to is the personality of the person. Like what their character shows when they’re out in the public, versus being at home (or anytime they’re alone). Most people that I have met seems to show multiple sides to them. As if they were to have a split personality, are bi-polar, or even have mood swings. From my point-of-view, they are all somewhat one in the same thing (don’t quote me on this). With that, and I hate to say this for myself, is why you can’t please everyone.

From friends, family, colleagues, and even random strangers, you don’t know what to expect. Which is why before you start judging someone when you first greet them (i.e., a customer), and they have a neutral or negative response, don’t think anything of it. They could be having an off day. Take me for example; most days I will always do my best to make people laugh or try to make their day brighter with some positive reinforcement. And then on rare occasions when life just doesn’t seem to be going my way, I will be sad and depressed. I don’t hide my feelings all that much, meaning I’m quite the expressive person. But maybe that’s not such a bad thing. It will let people know when something is wrong and it kind of sets their mood a little bit when they don’t see me happy.

The problem with me is that when I see someone like a colleague that is expressing this other personality (good or bad, but mostly bad), I tend to analyze the situation and see what I can do to resolve the issue. Or do what I can to prevent it from happening again. But forgetting that some things are out of my control, and I cannot help those that are going through whatever situation it is they are going through. All I can do is stay out of the way or help out by offering an ear to listen and possibly give advice, but only if they ask or are willing to take it. I’d like to consider myself as an unofficial non-licensed therapist (which is why I should really consider trying freelance on fiverr or something… tell your friends!)

So, what are you supposed to do when it comes to dealing with others that are having off days? Answer is, not much different than what you normally do. Like I said before, if it’s a customer, treat them with kindness and respect. Because for all you know, that could be enough to turn their day around. Don’t try to force yourself into anyone’s problems if they don’t ask for it. The best thing you can do is just offer. Offer your time, listen and pay attention to what they tell you if they need to vent. But for the most part, there really isn’t anything else you can do. The rest is up to them.

We all need saving. It’s just the matter of asking for help.

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My Perspective On ACNE

As I’m sure anyone who has researched anything with acne, they tell you that it’s more common when you’re a teenager. But even as adults, you can still get them. Ever wonder why that is? Whatever anyone or anything you have heard or read from would tell you, the truth may be a little… different.

CAUSES

As one website has mentioned, greasy foods and hygiene are just a myth when it comes to break-outs. Yes and no. It really depends on the person. The thing is, you know your body better than anyone else. Have you ever tried eating certain types of food and coming to the realization that you break-out more than normal, or not at all? I have this theory that one of the main sources for why people get acne is from what they eat. I’m sure not all greasy foods will affect you, but some surely do. What it really breaks down to is the sodium. I’ve had more than my fair share of what is considered unhealthy food, and after several days to a week, I will start showing pimples. It took me a while to put the pieces together but eventually it really did come down to what I put in my body. And that is just the beginning. When it comes to your hygiene, it’s the lifestyle that you live that can cause more pimples to show up or not. And if that isn’t convincing enough, there’s always you constantly touching your face with your greasy and dirty hands (I’m guilty of this myself).

How To Fix It

If food is your enemy, of course I mean when it comes to this subject of acne, then seriously, start eating more of what mother nature has to offer. I mean fruits and vegetables that grow from this beautiful planet. Unfortunately, I’m still having issues with this myself. I do try to eat them when I can. Like I’ve mentioned before about you knowing your body better than anyone, figure out what works and what doesn’t. Experiment a little. Especially if you get pimples often. If you don’t then there might be something else clouding your judgement (don’t worry, we’ll get into that topic in another post ( 😉 wink)). So, with food already been discussed, it’s time to get to your hygiene. In the last paragraph I’ve only briefly mentioned how this causing more pimples. Depending on what you ate growing up, for years it’s going to affect you in some way. It’s the reason why some people naturally have more oily skin than others. And with showering daily or not does affect certain tendencies as well. Then again, who knows? Only you can figure that out for yourself. As long as you’re somewhat healthy, why not experiment with some things like I have. You might learn something.

The Unknown Breakout

Stress. That’s about it. During part of my high school, I have gone through some shit that I hope that others don’t have to deal with or worse. But one of my closest friends just out of nowhere (yes, like Randy Orton with his RKO), decided to roast me for days. Where it came from or why, I have no idea. The only explanation I gave myself was that if anyone made fun of you, it’s because they secretly had a crush on you. But I’ve been told otherwise. So, it is what it is. Anyway, a moments later, I mentally could not take it anymore. The insults, constantly being put-down and made fun of because my vocabulary was not the greatest at the time… it hurt. And because of only what I knew growing up from family and friends that influenced me, I did the only rational thing that I could. Which ended up with me yelling in disagreement with anyone. And unlike what we see in movies and TV shows, where the characters who go through alternating life events, talk their problems out with one another, I never had that happen to me. All I got was just being made fun of and holding that feeling inside. No one to talk to about it, because at least during this time, unless you have a therapist to talk to you can’t express your feelings to anyone because everyone will tell you to stop being a little bitch… and OMG did this spread like a virus. Generations after mine would go through similar situations and no one, I MEAN NO ONE! Would just have the decency to pull each other to the side and talk their problems out with each other. It’s sad. Because the truth is, we are all in a way like the iceberg in Titanic. Or in Hitch. Where 90% of what we’re saying, isn’t coming out of our mouths. And for those of you who still don’t know, it means we keep way too many things to ourselves and don’t talk about our problems and issues with… anyone! Unfortunately, this is part of being human. We are not perfect, and we will never be. But the least we can do is learn. Learn from our mistakes and learn from one another. Because that’s how we grow as a species. All I ask is that we stop for a moment and take the time to be aware of our surroundings.

The Breakdown

I’m sure professionals and anyone else that say they’re pros will tell you the difference between simple and complex carbs. That complex carbs are good for you. Which is true. But! In my perspective, let’s reverse the roles a bit. Natural carbs, as in what we get from fruits and vegetables, are the best carbs we could ask for. To me, I like to look at that as simple carbs. The complexity is when you start mixing ingredients together to form something completely exotic. Ramen noodles, SPAghetti, pizza and so on. Those carbs aren’t necessarily the best for you. Don’t get me wrong, they taste great! But that’s why we should be eating them only so often. Make a treat out of them. Do something that’s out of your comfort zone and that you know benefits you health-wise. Anyone who has pets, like dogs and cats should know better. You don’t feed your animal(s) treats all the time. You reward them when you feel they’ve done something that amazes you and whatnot. And that’s exactly how you should treat yourself. When it comes to being human, we have the will power to easily eat anything and everything we like. Just because it makes us feel good, but in the end, our stomachs aren’t saying the same thing and our bowel movements as well (unless you’re into that sensation). Look, the thing is we need to have better self-control. Otherwise, we’re just proving Wall-E right. That in the future we’re just going to become fat/obese and become mesmerized by modern technology and forget the beauty of what’s really in front of us. But it’s your life, do what makes you happy… and I mean really happy, like deep down and not what you show yourself to be in front of others. Just remember what you’re doing and how it affects others. Not just yourself.

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The Untold Story: About Life… so far

When it comes to people, how do you know you can trust them? Like really. I’m not trying to start anything or initiate some wrongdoing. All I’m saying is whenever you’re doing or saying something and people, whether they are your friends, family, or coworkers, they without letting you know might have more to express about you behind your back. Unfortunately, I’ve been in some similar situations. The problem is the individual or multiple people that are involved don’t say anything to you. And that’s where and when the problem begins. If you’re a very open-minded and observant person, you’ll notice some things. The truth is, all you expect in return is the truth. People to tell you when something is wrong, or when you may have something to do with the problem. Those are the people that I respect. But the issue I have is when things are unsaid. I’ve spent more than enough of my life to know that if something is wrong, I would like to know about it. That’s why anyone who tells me anything, I respect them whole heartedly. But then there’s the people who decide to keep things to themselves. Or at least with those they feel are close to them. How do you expect a relationship to be stronger if you can’t even tell the person you feel who is bothering you about a problem what’s wrong?

I’m sure a lot of this has to do with overthinking, but sometimes my overthinking personally has been right. But it’s been wrong at times… and then there’s your gut. When you have a gut feeling about something, like the old saying says… “go with your gut” or something like that. I honestly don’t know any more at this point. Everyone lives their own lives. There’s only so much we can do to change it. Pastors, Motivators, Phycologist, Teachers and whatnot. At some point in our lives, we need to be aware of what we know. And what we can change to better ourselves as human beings. Life is short. Make the most with what you have to work with. Just be sure it’s something positive and can give hope for generations to overcome adversity.

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Pro Low Moving… Thank You

These guys are like family to me. We grew up together, did so many dumb and hilarious things. We made up games to play in the dark, and many times pretend to hurt ourselves (when it’s not for real), just to get a dollar from the adults. You did it! You started your own business and to me at least, is captivating! To Aaron, Sidney, and all the Pro Low team, I just wanted to give y’all a big shout out. You guys crushed it! Since my most recent post was about moving, and I never got to leave you guys a review, this is my way of doing so formally. Thank you for helping me move my stuff where I’m one step closer to achieving my dreams. Next time I move, I’ll be sure to go with you once again.

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Happy Holidays

As long as I could remember, Christmas was my favorite holiday. Just something about the lights, decorations and movies to name a few. But probably most important, that time away from school. And as I got older and started working, I would save my vacation days for this time as well. I love the winter and the snow. Driving in it, not so much. Not because of me, but because of other drivers. I’m the type of person that will find an empty parking lot and do donuts and snow drifts in. Typically, at my place of employment. Seeing the snow fall and covering up the grass and roads used to be nice, until I had to drive in it. It’s not like I could hope for a snow day at work. Unfortunately, life doesn’t work that way as an adult trying to keep a roof over my head. And with that, my holiday spirit seems to get lower and lower as the years go by. My childhood memories about Christmas began to fade. I hardly remember anything when I was younger about the holidays. Work consumed me. It’s no wonder why I’m miserable.

To some people I’m sure, they’re just trying to get through the holidays and others are just excited about it. Me? Well… that’s something I’m still trying to figure out. I do see my family and when we get together, we end up watching basketball and of course, have dinner. I do remember I used to try to get everyone their own unique presents. Taking the time to see what each individual family member of mine’s interests are. And I know it’s not about the presents but being whole as a family. My holiday spirit was so high at one point. Lately, the older I got the more it went down and the less buying presents happened. We would just end up buying each other scratch-off tickets and hope for the best. After doing a little soul-searching, I knew hoping for a lucky hand of scratch-offs or winning the lottery wasn’t going to be the way I get my success. I had to work for it. I had to earn it. Which I’m still doing to this day. Looking at what’s out there that’s right for me to make a change that’ll make me happier overall.

My Christmas Tradition

Since about a while ago, I started this tradition every year around Christmas to watch holiday movies. Almost every day during December I would put on one of these festive movies to get myself in the spirit. And what better way to compliment that with a nice cup of hot chocolate. Life was pretty simple during these times. I did almost my best to try to fatten up so I could hibernate for a little bit while I would be off work for my winter break. That didn’t work out so well. But I’m not giving up! And to go back to holiday movies, or movies that take place during the holidays, I still have yet to see A Christmas Story and Die Hard. It’s funny I mentioned that because the only Die Hard film I ever watched was Live Free or Die Hard.

Movies like Home Alone which I’m sure I’ve watched about 50 times I recently did something different this last time around (that I know of). I watched it from another perspective. Nothing major. Just things that are more thought provoking. Like how the drivers kept running into the statue. That statue broke! At least when the van hit it. There’s a chance this could have been in part 2. And taking a crowbar to the chest with that much force would more than likely break some bones among other things. But then again, this type of movie was not meant to be realistic. With Christmas Chronicles, is magic considered what science will be in the future? Inside Santa’s bag is a portal to his workshop/North Pole. Using something similar to Pym particles to get in and out of chimneys and houses quickly. These are just some of many theories I have when it comes to watching movies. Specifically, Science Fiction. Something I’m looking forward to breaking down in future posts (or videos).

Anyway, whether you are celebrating the holidays alone, with friends, and/or family, try to look at the positives in life. It can be difficult with so much or little going on we forget to see things on a lighter side. As long as you’re healthy and capable, keep pushing forward to a better tomorrow. The year is almost over, so why not start now?

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A Pandemic Lockdown

It’s Monday and I’m back at work. My colleagues (most of them) were pleased to have me back. Back to the same witty, self-deprecating, sexual innuendo-esque me they deserve, but not the one they need (… Batman!). And as we’re all aware of Covid spreading more and more, and state governments going into a lockdown, we were still working (as per usual). Now, this is just my opinion but seems very likely, our department for the company felt like the only reason they didn’t go under. At least this branch that is. There was talk amongst my colleagues and I that the company was struggling to maintain a float. Could be why our scheduler kept giving our supplier numbers we could not produce even running 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Eventually, some of our products we made ended, thus leading us to working 5 days a week. But that wasn’t until later.

About 2 weeks since the state issued a mandatory lockdown to non-essential workers when we got to be ourselves, outside of what was going on with the world, I was relieved… because I already had plenty of toilet paper to last me about half the year. It’s a good thing I only have to supply for myself! Unfortunately though, I didn’t have much supply of food. So, I knew eventually I would have to head to the grocery store to stock up on that, sooner rather than later. 5 weeks. That’s how long I was off work. My sleep schedule within the first week changed instantly. I would go from sleeping around midnight to 8 in the morning, to anywhere when the sun came up to the early afternoon. I read that it’s not as healthy not to have a sleep schedule (plus my doctor told me that as well), but this is a pandemic we’re dealing with. So what now? To go from having no-days-off to all-the-time-in-the-world, what do I do?

School’s Out For Summer

As I’m doing my best to stay safe and quarantining myself at home, I take a trip down memory lane. Back to playing video games online with some of my friends. And instead of Socom like the high school days, it’s Call of Duty: Warzone. Probably the hottest selling game on the market, and they picked a perfect time to release it. My role in our team playing battle royale was “The Wildcard.” You’re not sure what to expect when we play together but one thing’s for sure, I’m normally the first one into the Gulag. One of our favorite spots to start out is at the prison… because it’s a lot easier to transfer me to the Gulag when I die. Here’s a little-known fact, we always tried to spray paint anyone that was in there with us. Makes it easier to spot them if they make it out (not that it matters now considering this game probably isn’t relevant anymore). I won’t forget the moment I won it for our team in a 2 on 1 situation. Everyone, including myself thought it was over. But lady luck was looking down on me that day. She was probably looking down on me doing other things, too (a celebratory wank followed by a good night’s sleep).

Away from Call of Duty, I was collecting unemployment and just started saving a ton of money. Being how we were in a lockdown and I had just recently moved into an apartment with my roommate, Joey. I thought the place could use a little sprucing up. This part of my life was called, “Amazon and chill.” For the next several months I would shop almost on a weekly basis from Amazon. Which by the way, a huge thank you to the Amazon team for continuing to be essential and deliver us products we don’t need. Our place was very welcoming, we had a rug and a neat coffee table along with a lot of other things. I would have friends over for a dinner party that summer and received high compliments on my place and hosting. I was very grateful for that (thank you HGTV for all the inspiration in the past decade!). Unfortunately, none of that lasted. Going into the place, I was expecting to stay at this apartment for at least a few years, but my plans changed again, so I ended up leaving and getting my own place. But that’s another story.

While I was still living with Joey, he brought me out to the shooting range for the first time in my life. Before this, I had never shot a gun before, not even paintball or a bb gun. The most I’ve ever done was playing with sticks that look like guns out in the woods when we would go camping. I’ll admit, that was still recent. It wasn’t just when I was a kid. But that’s life! There’s that kid in you that won’t ever burn out. So anyway, we’re at the range, and Joey is teaching me the basics and techniques of holding and firing a gun. I wasn’t exactly sure how I felt learning a new skill like this. Maybe because I was never into guns in the first place. Joey’s cousin brought a shotgun with him, and I tried that out… very interesting. That had quite the recoil/kickback. I remember not setting my feet correctly when I fired the shotgun, and it nearly sent me back to the womb… just kidding! I did almost fell down. That was pretty wild though. As of now, I’ll just stick to shooting guns in video games or sticks.

One Of Many Passions

The late 90s brought so much in its’ history alone. I had just learned about who Tiger Woods was. And after watching him golf for several years, my uncle introduced my brothers and I to it. It was one of the most frustrating, yet relaxing sports I ever played. Who knew hitting a tiny little ball hundreds of yards could bring joy to someone? I played this game for over 20 years with the exception of certain parts of my life where I hardly played. I loved the sport but as I got older, I noticed I wasn’t golfing as much as I used to or would like. A lot of my friends who I played with when we were younger found new passions or just did other things. On several occasions I would have some colleagues at the time to go with and it made me miss that feeling of why I used to golf as much as I did. Then with Covid, a couple of my nephews were bored staying home and playing video games, wanted to do something else. When the golf courses opened back up, it was something they wanted to get back into. They hardly played when they were younger, but this was something different than staying home and they wanted to get good at it. When they would ask me if I wanted to join them, I had forgotten myself that joy it brought me. I was very thankful for them for bringing that passion back in my life.

And an interesting experiment I had was golfing while I was in the clouds. That was quite something! So, what else did I do when I was high and in the clouds…?

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My Hopeless Romantic Story… so far

From girls to women and me becoming a man from a boy, my love life truly was, and still is a spectacle. From middle school throughout high school I’ve had girlfriends, crushes, and even gotten stood-up… on multiple occasions. One of my strangest moments was playing strip poker with a girl from high school whom I rarely talked to until only recently after we graduated. Not exactly sure how we got to that situation, but it was definitely interesting. I got to hold hands with my first crush roller skating to Aerosmith’s’ “I don’t want to miss a thing.” Only she was skating backwards, not messing with my masculinity whatsoever. With all of that being said, here’s a much longer story of how my love life has gone.

The Girls From School

Everyone seems to have those typical cliché high school romantic life. You’re either all alone, hooking up with multiple girls, or have that long lasting relationship with your sweetheart. So where am I in this category…? When I was in school, I was normally a very quiet person. Stuck to myself for the most part, and didn’t have many friends. I knew a lot of people, but that was mostly it. I did have a small circle of friends I’m proud to say that are close to me to this day. My grades could have been better, but I found it difficult to pay attention in class because I was distracted easily by the girls. They always thought I was cute, like Snoopy(sorry, had to use that Rush Hour reference).

My freshman year was quite a wild one. Never thought I would be brave enough to ask out as many girls as I did. I had the biggest crush on this girl that seemed really interested in my life, Erica. We never dated or anything, but would always write notes to each other in English class. She was the only girl I knew back then that was curious about me on a personal level. Not even my girlfriend at the time asked me personal questions or tried getting to know me in that way. We did however wrote letters to each other and talked on the phone. But when we were together at school, we barely had a conversation. Our relationship didn’t last that long.

Fresh off a relationship, I just started asking these girls out I thought were pretty and cute. They agreed to going out with me, but when it came time for us to meet up at said location, not a single one of them showed up. I was hurt, and sad. To be 14/15 and ecstatic to go out with someone only to get stood up emotionally is just devastating. My spirit was crushed because it happened to me more than once. And pretty much from there, I went on the rest of my high school days living in disappointment and lacking confidence. Afraid to ask anyone else out because I’ll always think to myself, “what if I get stood up again?”

A Terrible Wingman

Wasted half my life on a friendship that should have ended a long time ago. But if I knew what I know now, we would have never been friends from the start. All things considered, he made a great Antagonist in the story of my life. I won’t call him by his name on here due to the fact I want nothing to do with him. There were definitely some scars left on me(mentally) from the friendship and it was still pretty recent when I chose not to talk to him anymore. I guess for the sake of this story, we’ll call him… Harvey(yes, like Harvey Dent a.k.a. Two-Face because that’s exactly how he played out to be in my life).

I met Harvey through my brother when I was about 13 or 14. Since my brother and I were really close and I didn’t have a whole lot of friends, I got to meet some of his. So, later down the road I would end up hanging out with Harvey just us at times, and I did get to meet his cousin who, I had a crush on for years. But nothing happened between us, just a little bit of sexual tension… I think. Anyway, there were several girls in my past that I did have a thing for, and I always thought that Harvey was such a great person because he had a way with words, and I was hoping he could help build me up with these girls. I would have to find out the hard way many times that it was not the case at all. As far as I knew, he only talked to them for himself. To the point where this girl I liked, he legit stole her from me. We ran into her at a bar downtown and I offered to buy her and her friends a round of drinks but he put it on his tab and took credit for it… and this was on my birthday! It didn’t end there either, despite him having kids with her. I met this really nice woman from a bowling league we had and by this time, I had gotten a lot better talking to women. And again, he would butt in and keep the conversation between them pushing me out. This was getting real old and it was only about a year after that I knew this friendship had to end.

Some of my closest friends would tell me how unfaithful he was and how poorly he treated me. I guess because when I met him at such a young age, my underdeveloped mind was processing information differently. There were countless times I knew he would make me feel awful and resent him as a friend. But something always brought me back to him. Now, I could go on and on about him but I’d rather not. Maybe I’ll save it for my autobiography I’m thinking about writing in the near future. Life has to go on, no matter who’s in it or not. Should have listened to my friends a lot sooner. But better late than never. And since I dropped him, I know I’m better for it.

Public Places

Being a regular at restaurants and bars aren’t all bad, the servers will remember your drink orders. At least, that’s me of recent versus how I was, say, about 10 years ago. I was out with some old high school friends I hadn’t seen for a while and my goodness, my drink orders were the definition of a failed moment. It started off fine, just a water. Then I was craving something else, wanted to talk to our waitress more, so I ordered a lemonade. A little while after that and eating our food, I then decided to get a beer, just to make conversation. The routine I made of how I got to ordering these drinks was incredibly shocking… in a disastrous way. By this time, one of my buddies made fun of me for that, jokingly of course. It goes on my ‘epic fail’ moments. Let’s just call it a good lesson learned!

Not long after I turned 21 I went out with Harvey and some of his coworkers at the time to a restaurant to meet up with them. I was always really quiet, but who wouldn’t be? When you’re that young, and surrounded by people you don’t know, it’s difficult to make conversation especially when you’re an introvert. I have gotten much better at talking to people since though. So we’re out eating and having a few drinks, talking and laughing, then everyone wanted to change the mood a bit. Head to a bar with a dance floor. I met this sexy little minx named JC, as they called her. She was a friend of the coworkers. We locked eyes at one point on the floor and started dancing closer and closer together. This random guy saw us breaking it down and thought he should get in on the action(thinking there was going to be a dance-off). He goes a little over the top with his moves, leaving him to literally dance off of his shoe. Moments later, JC saw his shoe on the floor, grabbed it, and chucked it back at him, not realizing I was in the pathway between her and the guy. So this shoe hits me in the head and now I’m a little dazed and confused. JC immediately comes to me apologizing and then giving me a big hug that nearly sent us falling over. Unfortunately I would no longer see JC after that night. We never exchanged numbers or anything. But at least I was left with a good story and an interesting little moment.

A Friend’s Friend

I feel like we all have those friends that want to introduce you to one of their friends. In this situation, it’s always the friend’s girlfriend’s friend. Playing matchmaker. I can’t quite recall the occasion, but little did I know, I was going to meet my boo… Kait. Kait and I had one of those types of relationships; the sexual tension, an unspoken thing, and playing each other hot and cold. She was much better at the hot and cold thing than me. I was pretty bad at it. When we first met, she had this wild glowing look. Curly blond hair and red lipstick. She liked to stand out. But later would go to red hair, which to this day, I have no idea what her natural hair color is. We would watch basketball together rooting for the Bulls. This was during the time Derrick Rose was top dog. Back when the era of the NBA was, at least to me, at one of its’ highest peaks. Before all the big threes joined forces. Yeah, so we got together for that, out to the bars and even celebrated New Years. After waiting in line to get into the bar for a couple hours in the cold, we had just about 5 to 10 minutes before midnight. We were with one of my buddies I met from high school as well. Had a round of shots, the clock is ticking, and people are counting down from 10. And there we were. Eyes locked, almost midnight. Not certain if I should have gone in for the kiss when that hand hits 12…

Kait and I did quite a bit together. Watching sports, going out to the bars, clubs, to city events and watching a movie at my place in the dark with no one around. All of these and yet… I never made a move. Not even a single kiss despite many opportunities. I can’t really explain it, why we never happened. And now she’s married and has a child, which I’m very happy for her and her family. But after writing all of this about her, about us, I think I know what it was… that chase. I really do love it, and I’m not sure why or how I became that person. But eventually the chase has to end.

What Have We Learned

Whether I’m getting stood-up or dealing with issues at home, I know my friends always seemed to have my back. They were very supportive and lifted me up in a way I never thought. Even when I was at one of my lowest. Thank you all for being my friends. You guys know who you are. As far as hindsight goes, I seen it way too late that a girl from school had liked me while I’m busy telling her about another girl that I liked. So sorry Jaclyn. I saw the look in your eyes at prom and I thought the same thing. Maybe in an alternate Universe we could have been. Although I’m really slow in seeing these situations, I tend to learn many things the hard way. Like how some women give off very easy signs they like me and yet I still find myself unable to ask them out. It may have something to do with my past and being afraid to make that next move. Ladies, I’m definitely working on it! Just be patient with me a little while longer. With that, I do hope you enjoyed this read. It’s definitely one of my longer posts so far, but I am a better man for everything that has happened to me.

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