Author: davidsnow

The Stress of Moving Out

It never really occurred to me why moving out can be so stressful… until now. One too many times I still find myself moving from place to place not thinking when will this temporary living situation be a bit more permanent. It’s been over 10 years now since I left home to what I would say be on my own, except I wasn’t for the most part. I at least had a roommate for most of that time. Only in the past few years was I officially on my own and sadly enough, I kept the empty boxes and added on to those boxes. Nothing has really ever felt like home since moving out. The older I get, the more responsibilities I seem to have and that time to enjoy life just kept getting smaller and smaller. Work from one of my previous employers burnt me out where I spent the next couple of years doing absolutely nothing. And now the time has come where I’m packing my things once again…

The reason for my move this time, and this is not an easy thing to say… but it’s money. If living paycheck to paycheck wasn’t bad enough, I had to deal with car problems on top of that. It was the latest issue that sealed the deal in my moving. Even though life hasn’t quite gone my way lately, I’m not mad about it. The way I see it, this is a new chapter in my life. Sometimes you have to take that step back before soaring forward through the skies (I know, that was a bit cheesy).

What makes this stressful is how even after I had to give my 30 days’ notice that I’m leaving my apartment, I still find myself not taking action. Hardly anything has been packed up and my 30 days are almost up. And I’m starting to feel it. But maybe it’s just because I’m tired of doing this so often, and so many times. And just like every other time, I do have items I tend to sell and donate.

This move will be quite painful for me. I may have to leave one of the jobs I work at, and I really do love it. I love the people I work with, and it’s been such a joy. You know you have it well when work doesn’t feel like work. And unless I’m willing to commute almost an hour just for a part-time job, I don’t know if that’s worth it. Especially with my car running the way it has been. Well, whatever I decide to do, no matter what happens, I will look at this as a new chapter in my journey. Life may not be easy, but I’ll be damned if I don’t get to live it!

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Distractions

Even though you’re in the zone, you can still be thrown off by exactly that… distractions. Life’s biggest issue. Distractions plain and simple, throw us off. They take us off our groove. Our vibe. An idea that has the potential to be something brilliant, can easily be washed away by such a simple distraction. At this point, I’m sure you already catch my drift.

I had an idea that came to me and wanted to share it with whomever. Unfortunately, I was bothered and lost my train of thought which derailed my entire universe. And if that could not get any worse, what else is there?

Don’t get me wrong, when it comes to living alone in an apartment, you have mainly two things: independence and neighbors on the other side of the wall. But from my experience, it’s almost like you’re not living alone, not by yourself. Your neighbors can be incredibly distracting, but you have to do what you can. Distractions are just a part of life. Which is why I know that if someday I can make it and get my own place without walls that have random strangers on the other side of it, I know that I… made it. And that’s what matters to me.

Make the most of what you have to work with. No matter what surrounds you. Life is going to be exactly just that. It will distract you; it will frustrate you, but in the end… life cares about you. Forget the negativity and the bad. Those are distractions that you need to put aside to what really matters. You are the best thing life has given you and it wants you to blossom into something beautiful. Cherish it. Don’t ever take life for granted. As Christina Aguilera has said, “you are beautiful, no matter what they say.” And I stand by that whole heartedly.

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Energy & Life

Life is beautiful. But life would not be what it is if we didn’t have the energy to be able to live it. Energy drives us. Energy makes us. It’s who we are and what we’ve become. Why is it that kids have so much energy compared to adults? In my not-so expert opinion, it’s because they take naps. They have a bunch of caffeine, like drinking a bunch of soda and eating candy. Something that keeps them going for only such a short period of time. Unlike when we’re adults where we do have our caffeine fix but then start to feel the crash in the early afternoon. Naps then ruin the rest of our day or help us push ourselves to work longer late into the night just to do it all over again the next day. But if we don’t take naps then we might just be getting by. Have just enough energy to get us to bedtime but wasting our day without being productive. Unless you live a happy enough life where that is perfectly fine with you. It’s only if you feel like you want more. Want to do more. Achieve more.

So, where does our energy come from? The answer to that is a bit more complicated than it seems. It’s possible that a good mattress will do the trick. Or having a clear mind will get you a good night’s sleep. What I’ve learned is that it very well could be a little bit of everything. Having a good mattress that suits you will most definitely help, and of course, clearing your mind of unwanted thoughts before bedtime. But in my experience, financial situations have made my life more difficult. It is possible that the thought of living paycheck to paycheck is keeping me from getting good sleep. All the more reason for why I have not posted in my blog for over 2 months. That’s just part of life as well. The fact that life can distract you from doing what you love. Draining away your energy without you realizing it. But don’t use it as an excuse. Just consider it an obstacle.

Never forget that life is a beautiful thing and that we are so grateful to have it. To be a part of it. Don’t turn into an adult and erase all the beauty in your imagination just because of your age. Be someone brilliant. You got this!

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What Rejection Feels Like

If this is not your first rodeo, then you already know. But that does not mean it doesn’t hurt. When you imagine both the positive and negative outcome but yet still surprised when it actually happens. That’s because expectations never really play out the way reality wants it to. This is where you prepare yourself to what you know best; your sad music playlist, comfort food or whatever helps get you through your grieving process. At least that’s how I cope with rejection.

It really is a process. Because I’m so used to it, I already prepare myself ahead of time if/when I get turned down. Of course, I’m referring to when I like someone I’m attracted to. It’s a part of my life. Most of the time I don’t even bother pursuing. And to add to the music playlist that I made specifically for this occasion, I do get myself a bottle of whiskey and find something to distract myself, so it doesn’t hurt as much. Sometimes watching a movie or playing video games help occupy my mind, but sadly when I do finish up, I’m right back to where I was.

This most recent time I did try a different approach. First and foremost, I’m not a player, I just crush a lot. And in this particular situation, I happen to like several women that I find myself somewhat close to. A couple of them I actually work with. And that’s not necessarily a bad thing considering I don’t really use dating apps and don’t get to meet people outside of work too often. Literally just looks and smiles when I’m grocery shopping. So, to get to my point, you do have more of a tendency getting to know the people you work with, which brings me to wondering why it’s such a bad thing dating your coworkers.

Business/Pleasure, I get it. Don’t get involved but what if you’re an introvert that doesn’t see too many people to begin with? At work, you build a connection with your colleagues. Some more than others. Yet the most difficult thing you have to deal with is how it might affect your relationship at work when you choose to make the move. I mean, where I work I suppose I could transfer to another store considering I work at a chain corporation? But that’s a hassle. I like where I work and I love the people I work with. But lately, I’ve been watching The Office and maybe I should just do it and put myself out there like Jim and Pam’s situation.

I wrote a letter, well, technically it’s more like a love poem. I wanted to be romantic and have the words rhyme, and it was only a short period of time I wrote this after talking to my work crush. We got into a conversation about how people don’t really write letters to each other anymore, and I wanted to change that. So, we agreed to write each other letters but I wanted it to be more meaningful and chose to open up my affectionate side. The thing is, sometimes we only work together maybe once a week, so I really tried to make the most of our time together. I really do go above and beyond trying to impress her but half the time I’m stuttering and stumbling over my words. Which is something I wrote in my so-called poem.

The thing is, to me at least, it really feels like a 50 First Dates situation. Every day I see her, I feel like I have to start from the beginning to try to impress her. To get her to like me. At least that’s how I look at it. It’s not easy, let me tell you. What doesn’t help is, even though at times my words can be… what some will say enchanting, I will still freeze and have nothing. I’ve been told by several of my colleagues that, I’m ‘rizzing’ with some of our customers, yet to this day, I don’t even know what that means. They tell me some of the customers I talk to are flirting with me yet I’m clueless because I’m just trying to make conversation. And let me tell you, if what I experienced was flirting then it has definitely changed over the past decade.

Flirting or not, if you are I would really appreciate it if you made it obvious to me. I really am clueless if you’re being subtle. And to get back to my point, rejection hurts. But at this point in my life, I have gotten better. I used to listen to what I consider sad songs, but now I’ve gone back to my early past and started revisiting those slow/R&B love songs that expresses my true feelings. I’m a hopeless romantic. And I will tell you more about that… on the next one.

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Dear Me in 5 Years…

assuming you’re alive and well, please… do more. I understand that life has been difficult but it’s no reason to keep you from going after your dreams and aspirations. You gave yourself goals in life but have made no effort to achieving them. What is it going to take for you to start doing? That’s if you haven’t already by this time. I know what you’re capable of and whether you know it or not, you do bring joy to many people. Even if you don’t feel like you have and feel worthless at times. But who doesn’t think that about themselves from time to time? I want you to know that I know you are wonderful and extremely talented. And don’t forget I was also there to witness how impress our colleagues were just from your conversations with the customers. They were entertained by you!

Another thing, I’m also really confused writing in this first-, second-, or third-person narrative, or whatever it is at this point. But at least there’s journalbuddies to help give us this topic so we have something to write about.

Whether or not this might sound cliché, but when you put your mind to doing something, you’re creating a work of art. Granted, not everything you make is a hit. But it’s still art. Good or bad, wonderful or dreary, perfect or the many mistakes you make. That’s what makes you who you are.

So, let’s not do nothing. Start by starting. Before you know it, you’ll be incredibly pleased with the person you become if you just do it.

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Honesty Goes a Long Ways

So, I met this woman who was sitting across the bar from me one night. She couldn’t take her eyes off of me. I know that look when I see it and wanted to find out more. As curiosity crossed my mind, I went over to introduce myself. And after getting to know each other, with a few drinks later, we went back to her place. Just because my place is a mess and I’m not proud of myself. It’s okay though, it’s probably just my depression. Anyway, back to my story. We’re back at her place and continued our conversation with a night cap. I got a little too comfortable where a fart slipped out. As embarrassed as I was, she didn’t seem to mind. Just giggled. Shortly after the smell went away, we hooked up.

Here’s the thing: the story I told, was a lie. And now you’re probably disappointed with me. But that’s okay (maybe), because I’ve had to deal with that one too many times. If you have friends that do this to you often, it makes it difficult to care what they tell you considering you don’t know if you want to believe what they have to say or what stories they tell. So, why bother?

The story that I told, still holds a lot of truth behind it. Apart from going back to the woman’s place that I mentioned, and thus leading to me manifesting the fart part, this was a really short story. Besides giving you a detailed description of my messy apartment, I was just drinking at a bar. So, what actually happened was…

“I was having a drink at the bar and noticed this woman across from me. She gave me this look. I like to call it the look of desire. So, I went over to introduce myself and as we got to know a little bit about each other, my night ended with me going home alone.”

The moral of the story is that I don’t have a clue how to close. I guess it’s just something that I never got over. Always afraid of rejection and lacking the courage to do so. However, I do enjoy conversating with people, especially if it’s a small group or a one-on-one situation. It just feels more personal.

I like to consider myself a people pleaser. I know it may not sound like a good thing, but it’s not all bad though. Just want to shine a little light onto people no matter what kind of day they are having. This whole thing is really about understanding where people are coming from. We all have a way about us that makes us do or say things that can be good or bad. But telling the truth is better than building up one lie after another. And if you want to keep certain things to yourself, by all means. Everyone should be entitled to their privacy. What you want to share is up to you.

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World Peace Day

I have a question. Why is it that peace among worlds, let alone our world, has to be just celebrated for one day? Why not for all eternity? The sad thing is that the way we see ourselves in this world right now, is how we differ because of race, because of sex. Just because someone doesn’t share the same opinion as you doesn’t mean you have to judge them whether they are right or wrong. I mean, how do you know you’re right? We are just sharing our opinions. It’s called a disagreement. Something that I feel is lost in this world. That’s why people are so sensitive nowadays. They take everything seriously. It’s called a debate for a reason.

Of course, we aren’t going to agree on everything. That’s what makes us human. We live and we learn. To this very day, I’m always learning. Learning from my mistakes. The sad thing is, for the most part, nobody told me about the mistakes I made, I just had to figure it out for myself. Years go by and you learn by reading people’s body language how they feel about anything you have said to them, how they reacted from it. It’s not something that you’re taught, but rather, from living. That’s life.

As a species, we have to be better. Don’t let one day define who you aren’t. Let the world know who you are… and you are beautiful. You are exceptional. “World Peace Day?” How about just… world peace?

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Unspoken Words

As an entire civilization probably, we think about everything that goes on in our everyday lives. The problem though… is that we don’t express ourselves about what’s actually going on. If you’re confused, that’s okay. Because I am as well. John Mayer had this song, “say what you need to say“, and I could not agree more. How we feel and especially want to express ourselves, yet we keep it only to ourselves is, well, selfish. If anybody says anything that rubs you the wrong way, it makes sense to be straight with them right there on the spot. But life has a way of making us want to bottle these feelings. And why not?! This is what society has made of us. I could be wrong by saying this, but I really don’t care, and the thing is I feel we our all sensitive. The little things hit us right to the core, but by expressing it out loud would make people judge us, and lead to others talking about us behind our back. Not that we should even care about it. But maybe, just maybe, we do care. Of course, we want to make a good impression to everyone around us. And this is where I give so much credit to those that just don’t give a… poop.

Here’s another problem, though. To the people that don’t care, it affects those that do. The day-to-day stuff might just mean more to others, and we should all at least respect it. Stubborn is a word that I feel doesn’t get used enough. To me, it means that people aren’t open to new experiences. That’s why perspective is one of the most important things in life. You live most of your life knowing one thing, and that everything else is basically wrong.

It’s sad. Most people in this world feel like they have to hide behind this façade. And I don’t blame them. Life is difficult. One of the most difficult things is to be yourself. Who cares what you are. Be who you were meant to be. Because you were meant for greatness. You were meant to do things beyond imaginable. “Only you can prevent forest fires!” Sorry. I’m a comedian by nature, probably. But enough talk. Go out there and be the best version you were meant to be. As Joe Dirt once said, “Life’s a garden, dig it!”

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Imagine Our World Today, Without the Internet

For starters, I’m not saying we had the internet and now it’s gone. It’s 2023 and the internet just never existed. What kind of world would we live in? Where would we be with our technology now? The post office may be a great place to have a career, with all the handwritten letters we would write to each other, of course, unless you have a typewriter. But what does that mean when it comes to cell phones? Or smartphones as we call it. Would texting be a thing? Does that actually require the internet to send messages? I honestly really don’t know. But yes, there are so many questions to ask, so let’s just at least start with putting together my hypothesis and see where that takes us.

Plain and simple, the internet made our lives… lazier. Yes, many, many things were easier. But we got lazy with how easy it made things. And with how much we utilized it to where it is today, it also took away what once was valuable to us. Obviously, I wouldn’t be able to make any sense of it all with my blog without the internet, but we would all be living different lives. Most people would freak out if the internet shut down for even just a day. As long as electricity still worked, I would be just fine. That’s just one of the many reasons why I like to collect hard copies of movies & TV shows on blu ray and DVD. And if the power went out for just as long (or longer), I would look for sticks on the ground that looked like guns to play cops & robbers… I’m not sure where I’m going with this anymore. But I digress.

There’s plenty more of what I can say about having internet or not, but one thing we should all at least cherish, the things that made us happy without being obvious. The era that I grew up in involved going to a friend’s place to see if they were home and wanted to hang out. Or using a landline house phone and having to talk to someone else to reach the person you’re trying to talk to. And this one may be a bit of a reach or it’s just me, but neighbors you actually talk to and befriend.

At the end of the day, we live in the world we live in. Sometimes, it’s not much, but it could also be spectacular. You never know what you’re going to get. Isn’t that part of a quote from Forest Gump?

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Recognition

It’s all we really want. Whether it’s from work, friends, or even our own family. Sometimes we might feel like we’re out of place or don’t belong. Of course, this is assuming you put in the effort and maybe would like to lead by example. There is nothing more true than hard work paying off. Even if you don’t believe it to be so.

Let’s say this: you’re at a job you’ve been at for a few years, and every day you show up to work, you work. You’re not complaining a whole lot, you put in your due diligence, and almost always show up on time. Here’s the thing: if while you’re doing all of this, and you don’t receive the recognition you feel you’ve earned, it could take a lot out of you. Possibly with no opportunities to move up within the company. That in turn could lead you to not work as hard or always try to show up on time. But maybe, it’s time to look for opportunities elsewhere.

Sometimes it’s not you. From my experience with working the so many jobs I’ve had in the past, I know that management is where most of everything starts. Without good management, you might not have good leadership. And without good leadership, you probably won’t have good hardworking employees. All you have to do is pay attention. Even apart from a job, this goes out to anyone.

I guess all I’m saying is give recognition to those who have earned. It can go a long way. We’re human, we make mistakes, but we also don’t need too much to feel good about ourselves. No matter who you are, sometimes it’s a little attention that’s needed. That way you don’t feel like just a shadow. But always remember, you have to put in the work.

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