Tag: Life

It’s Just a Competition… Right?

“And the winner is…”. There I am, standing between 8 other competitors. As second and third place was already announced and I’m still waiting to hear if my name will be called. My heart starts beating faster and faster, despite already doing my presentation a while ago, my anxiety just suddenly kicked in without a moment’s notice. What’s about to happen? Is this my moment?

The Beginning

In my line of work, I’m a barista… but with a little extra flair. From all my past experiences and mistakes that I’ve made, I almost always tend to in a way evaluate myself and what I could do better or differently. In other words, I can be pretty hard on myself. And when I first started out as a barista, it was no different. I was not great, but it was also because I didn’t have enough experience from the work. Oftentimes I would be the one that just connects with customers more than anything else. As I finally began to put in more hours at work, I was given time to bar and make fancy lattes and whatnot. Eventually I got in a rhythm of my own and the speed progressed with it and now I’ve been considered dependable no matter what role I’m given. And that’s what it’s all about for me really.

The Competition

This year alone has been more about praising myself and acknowledging that it’s okay to mess things up or not beating myself up too much if I don’t stay on task. Like my bingo card, it’s actually a lot. I see it every day and have to know it’s more up there as a guide. I’m okay if I don’t complete everything I set out to. With that, I decided to take a chance on something new. I saw a posting within our company website about a barista championship competition. What’s funny is I didn’t notice this post until the very last day to sign up. So, I thought, “why not!?” Let’s try this out!

Overall, this competition has 5 levels you have to compete in, advancing from one level to the next. Let’s just say, if you found yourself at the very last level, you could be competing in front of potentially thousands of people on stage. Sounds nerve wrecking? It is, but I had no fear… at the time.

And Here We Go

The first level was going up against any other fellow barista within your café. However, in my situation, nobody else signed up. So… I moved on! By a technicality. And once my boss figured out what the next level was going to be, she helped me out every step of the way. Supporting me through it all to the very end. What we had to do was practice making latté art and work on connecting with the judges, making conversation.

I practiced so much leading up to that moment, and seriously there’s a whole science behind latté art and to this day, I feel like if I make a good latté art, it’s strictly out of coincidence and luck. When that time came, I was with my boss, her kids and a fellow colleague to cheer me on. When everything started, to me it felt like nothing was what I imagined it would be. Like one of those reality vs expectation type of situation. My heart was racing the entire time. I did not expect this feeling. My anxiety may have peaked more than I could imagine.

We were given 3 rounds and on the second round I felt like a ghost. I made no conversation whatsoever with any of the judges and knew this was it for me. My break in-between the final round I just told myself I would just tell my story of how I became a barista and did exactly that. Plus, my latte art in that last round looked like a mixture of the Michelin man and marshmallow man (accidentally).

At the end, when they announced the winner, I’ll admit I still accepted I had lost but deep down felt maybe there’s a chance. I still had hope. And then it happened, my name was announced and I just stood in silence for a moment not sure what had happened. I was moving on!

By celebrating, my boss took us all out for ice cream. I pooped later that night!

Let the Games Begin

In that last level, I found out I barely won. But I won which is all that matters. However, even for this next level, I still had the mindset to just do my best and to only focus on my own craft. That was not the case, just like that last level, I had conversations with other competitors leading up to the competition. Just a bunch of baristas from around the nation getting to know each other and a little bit about our stories, which I tend to be more fascinated by. In this particular competition, we had to do a coffee tasting. For that, you get to choose your coffee of choice and essentially describe its’ origin, history and talk about the flavors and what your story and reasoning for choosing it.

There’s 9 of us total and I was right in the middle of it all through random drawing from a hat. So, once we broke away and the competition began, there were 5 minutes interval between each competitor that was given 10 minutes to do their presentation. At the beginning I left those that came to support me, but only to the back of the café to run my presentation over again in my head. I really wanted to get it right and make sure everything flowed naturally. Typically, when I go thru these story tellings, I like to have a good transition from one topic to the next.

Honestly, everyone that I interacted with could not be more supportive and helpful. This was more than just a competition. After seeing how some of the other competitors did their presentation, it gave me an idea of how I would showcase mine. And before you know it, I went and did my thing. Overall, it felt like a solid performance. One of the competitors I talked to I actually helped him with just a few things here and there. Afterwards, he did his thing and ended up taking the bronze metal.

So, here we are… in front of 8 other people competing to move on to the semi-finals. And the winner… was not me. The room fell silent, at least in my head. I remember applauding the winner, but the feeling was seriously like something you see out of a movie or TV show. As I stood exactly right in-between the top 3 finishers giving each other high fives then when the winner held her hand out for a high five to me, honestly, I didn’t even realize she was doing it. Eventually I did. I didn’t leave her hanging.

Au Revoir

I studied; I practiced and kept working on my storytelling like I was rehearsing because the way that I saw this felt like it was a role and I didn’t get the part. Now, I will say I had about a solid 4 to 5 weeks to practice which I did a lot of studying but only until about a week prior, I started my story like it was my lines. There was a lot of information to know and remember, and I did the best I could, but you can only ask so much for someone with A.D.D.

When the top 3 were being announced, all I was hoping for was to be a part of that. To be on the podium. That’s why when second and third place was announced and I still haven’t heard my name; it really did feel nerve wrecking. And where does that leave me? After having some time to let it all sink in… I was sad. Maybe even depressed (but honestly for about a day and a half). Like to the point where I’m uncertain if I need cheering up or just to decompress what I went thru on this little journey.

Overall, I know I could have done better. Absolutely. What I was still trying to work on was fine tuning my craft. I believe the story telling was great but after a little more reflecting, I rushed myself and didn’t open up opportunities to connect with the judges as if they were just any other person. I know those that came out to support me let me know I did really well and thought I should have at least placed but these things happen. I’ll learn from it. But I told myself that this here was just a one-and-done type of competition just to see how far I’ve come. And honestly, I have come a long way. I’ll take this as a learning curve and will continue to better myself every day. For me.

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What Did I Want to Be Growing Up?

To some people, maybe their dreams stick with them throughout their childhood and into adulthood. Others, their dreams change constantly. Like me for example, what I wanted to do with my life was more about what was really going on in the world. Like what influence had a deeper effect on me. Let me break it down for you…

Michael Jordan

Oh yeah, the 90s was prime Jordan all the way. Watching the Bulls with my brothers was a whole experience in itself. From what I remember, if we weren’t watching the game we were playing it in the driveway. Oftentimes together but even when I was by myself or wanted to play, I would go out and make up scenarios in my mind to drive the experience playing basketball alone much more meaningful. I kept at it for a while… at least until the next big thing happened.

Tiger Woods and my uncle

Talk about revolutionizing the game of golf. Tiger was like a professional version of Happy Gilmore. The new wave of crowd and fans he brought in was surreal. It was shortly after his career blew up was about the same time my uncle introduced us all to the sport. I feel that with this particular game, everyone starts out terrible. I was no different. I used to get really upset the first few years of my golfing career. Eventually that changed (thank goodness), and I finally became a decent golfer. Which is why they say the game is mostly mental than physical, but it helps to have a good physique for the game.

This game however stuck around for me. I really did want to go pro, but I forgot to eat my vegetables during the crucial moments of my life and just stayed short and unworthy. But to this day golf still is one of my biggest passions in life.

The Hidden Reality?

Even while my childhood dreams continue to change, one thing that took a long while for me to notice was what didn’t change… cars. Fast cars. This realization that happened only just a few years ago made me wonder, “am I a professional racecar driver in disguised?”

Always was into cars growing up. For Christmas, I would get anything car stuff for the longest time. You know one of those electric racetracks that only require you to put your finger on the trigger. But if you press down all the way all the time, the car launches off the track. Like when Tim added more power to his car in Home Improvement. [insert grunting here]

Anyway, a little while after two crucial points hit: The Fast and the Furious released and my brother buying his first car and modifying it while I just watched him whenever I can on the weekends. I wouldn’t even say anything most of the time, if I heard him doing car work in the garage, I would stop anything I was doing and go out to see what he was working on next. This eventually would inspire me to do the same to my future first car. And I tell ya, if I could I would have never sold it because I was too lazy to look for a job to make money and instead went this route. Life choices.

With the Fast and Furious franchise (although they lost their way in the later films in my opinion), never knew how much my life would change. When that first movie released on DVD and my brother bought it, I watched it pretty much every day after school for who knows how long. It was my whole life for a while. And before I go deeper down this rabbit hole, I’ll save that story for another time.

For now, let’s say when I find myself driving down curved roads, I like to use the same line that professionals would use. I have this tendency to keep my speed up especially going on motorways but oftentimes I’m stuck behind drivers that will take almost any curved roads really slow… which I get. You’re being safe but the one downfall about that is you don’t accelerate fast enough getting on motorways where anyone already on it has to make these decisions they shouldn’t have to. “Oh man, do I slow down, speed up or merge over?” And if they can’t merge over from traffic, then they have to make a choice.

Me? I like to remove that choice for them. My style of driving is keeping everyone flowing smoothly (when they can). Now to be clear, I’m not weaving in and out of traffic or speeding like crazy. I go at what I’m comfortable with and stay out of the passing lane when possible. In theory, you would think this is pretty simple for anyone driving to manage but sadly it’s not… uhh, anyway I digress.

So, where was I?

I think it’s great that there are those out there who know what they want to do with their lives and stick it through. Here’s to hoping you enjoy it and that you’re living your life to the fullest. While I’m still figuring out mine, it’s just something that I can’t quite commit to. Only because I’m uncertain of what it is I want to do. Even today. To stick with one path and hoping it does work out. Maybe I’m just wired where I like to experience life one moment at a time and going with the flow. Someday maybe I will find what it is I’m looking for, but until then…

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Making Progress

Let’s talk about where I’ve been or what I’ve been up to these last… I don’t even know. The reason why I haven’t been posting. Instead of going into details about the what, I’d like to try something different, if I may.

A while back, when I started my blog, I wanted share with everyone stories and experiences of my life. Everything that I could remember that was worthy of sharing, no matter how silly or dumb it was, to possibly something relatable to you. Or at least something that got your attention about me and what I went through. The thing was, in the early stages of my writing, I would be all over the place. Wanting to write about so many different topics not necessarily having anything to do with my life (which isn’t a bad thing). And with that I had trouble completing what I would call my assignment. I wanted to write about everything that I forgot to write about anything. And that’s when I found myself struggling to produce anything valid.

It wasn’t until just recently that going back to the year that I decided to start a blog was a new life I had just created for myself. I carried the memories and all that with me but looked at my life from another point of view. I was changing. Evolving. Learning a lot on my own and rarely from others. And I don’t mean others teaching me a new skill or anything like that. But with life itself. I think most of us go through life learning on our own (at least for me), no matter how difficult it is. I have this tendency to learn the hard way, and not just from my past, but even to this day. Just not as often.

I’m not saying that I don’t like the man that I’ve become, because it got me to explore different jobs apart from what I’m used to. Eventually though, I landed a role that I really enjoy, even though it meant making less than a lot of my more recent jobs prior. Despite that, I haven’t felt this good about myself mentally in a while. But over this time period I have lost some friends from my little evolution, and every so often I do think about them. Others, not so much because I would develop trust issues with people. In the past year or so, I kept trying to explore down my past. Just remembering what made me the way that I was. How clumsy I used to be and how I would be a little too good with self-deprecation. It’s weird how much I miss those things about myself. It doesn’t happen as often as it used to. Guess that’s just part of evolution within ourselves as we age. Some things don’t change though, and that’s not necessarily a bad thing.

This year, I’m trying something new. From a big part and thank you to my niece, I made a bingo card. Just something I would like to see myself do more of or even trying something new. I figured because it’s on a literal piece of paper and I made sure to have it somewhere I could see it every day. This could be my motivation to actually want to do these things. And I’m trying! It’s slow but it’s progress.

And speaking of progress, that’s what counts. The effort to do something. Even though there’s a lot to conquer with this bingo card, I don’t expect to complete it fully. But I’ll be damned if I don’t at least give it a shot!

My Bingo Card that was made back in February.
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Love is Stronger than Hate

Truer words have never been spoken so well from such an icon. Of course, I’m referring to Bad Bunny. I agree completely with what he’s saying, even if I didn’t know what he was singing. But it doesn’t matter. I understood what he meant. And the storytelling in his performance alone could tell you that. I just wanted to add to this by saying that the reason I believe, as humanity, why we struggle so much with that is simply because we forget how to love. We have so much hate in our… loins! I don’t know. Just somewhere deep down that we let it become our persona, of which I’ve mentioned before how we hide behind a façade too often. But I really feel like that’s already changing!

Remember the movie Inside Out? Some people are “controlled” by a specific character that is a feeling/emotion and that just becomes their normal. Riley was a happy girl and I know it’s been a little while since I’ve seen the movie, but wasn’t her father the angry character?

So, who controls the helm inside yourself? Because where does hate get you in life? I get it though, sometimes life isn’t on your side. At least it can feel like that at times, whether it’s more often than not. But I honestly feel like it’s all about your mindset. Don’t pretend to show love. Express it! Feel it! Who knows? It can be contagious to others where they see it and genuinely become happier, and if you notice them experiencing it, could also make you happier. And at the end of it all, you forget why you hated in the first place.

From yours truly…

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The Value of Time

Time: one of our most valuable and limited resources we have as individuals. Sometimes we forget that with each other, like wasting someone else’s time out of their daily lives by being careless, taking for granted, or maybe just lacking the self awareness that you’re actually doing it. And I get it, life happens. But at least if you have people waiting on you, just keep them informed.

As I’m sitting here at work with my own thoughts and some (more or less, depending on the day) spare time to myself, I begin to wonder if I would rather work a job that keeps me busy often versus having the possibility of a lot of free time and trying to figure out what to do with it or running out of things to do to stay busy.

What I mean by this is yes, I could work an 8 hour a day job for roughly 40 hours a week and hopefully with that, keep a roof over my head, my stomach fed and maybe enough extra money to enjoy life and not struggle to get by.

The other thing is doing a job that works several hours a day where you do stay fairly busy but have that extra time on your hand afterwards to… work a second job! 😄 just kidding! (But probably not)

Assuming you make a decent wage, you will have more freedom to do what makes you happy. That or use the time that could lead to a better lifestyle that maybe when you have moments to think to yourself, if you’re like me, breakdown what your current lifestyle/living situation is and imagine what you could do to be more productive or even just chill, read a book, watch a movie or play video games.

Honestly, I would like to try to learn something new, maybe pick up a new skill or do something to challenge myself more (when I have the energy from not constantly working multiple jobs and feeling slightly burnt out). If not that, it would be a great opportunity to explore my passions in life or see if there’s something I have yet to explore that could become a new passion.

All that being said, it really comes down to time. What you do with your time matters. I know everyone has their own situation they have to deal with. But this is just mine and it doesn’t hurt to dream a little. Just imagining the possibilities of what you could do with your life when you’re not spending most of it at work… and not have to wait until you’re retired to finally explore the world, when your body is already on the verge of decomposing!

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Making Someone’s Day

I live in a world where I have a job that allows me to see many people throughout the day. Lots of strangers and lots of familiar faces. Whether they are regulars or fellow colleagues. When it comes to codes, I never really thought about it… until now. My code: making moments. Working in retail, almost everyday I will see hundreds of customers and have a little chat with most of them. No matter how brief or extended the time we have together, I’m always trying to have a connection (if they give off the right vibes). Not every person feels like they’re in the talking mood, so I don’t force it. But for those who do, I am here for it!

My biggest problem is because I see so many people on a daily basis, I will forget that I had a lot of the same conversation with one too many of our regulars. Just recently though, I was told by a customer how I made their day just by being… well, there. My smile makes them feel so much better and just sometimes just by asking if I could do anything to make their day better was enough if they seem to be struggling. It doesn’t take much, but sometimes that’s all you need. Nobody really knows what people go through on an everyday basis and what their life is like… except for if you’re someone’s therapist.

Maybe that’s where I come in. Honestly, I’m all for giving people a free consultation. Our time will be short but I’m hear to listen to you just so you could get things off your chest if you would like. Making someone’s day is more than just my job, it’s an experience. Take care!

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An Eventful Life

Life has been quite eventful already this time of year (2025) as we now enter the month of May. We start off with any Star Wars fans with “…the fourth be with you”, to Cinco De Mayo, nurse’s week and where I spent most of my childhood growing up, the city of Holland. A place where we celebrate not just tulips, but the Dutch culture as well… and a parade! This small but highly populated city, from what I’ve watched with my own eyes grow larger throughout my younger years, is really a gem. Even though, during the tulip time festival week, it may be crowded with tourists, I still find myself going to check out the tulips, and enjoying the food trucks and carnival that come with it. Can’t get enough of those elephant ears!

Did you also know they made a movie about Holland? It stars Nicole Kidman, who I think is wonderful and absolutely gorgeous, and although the film says it’s a psychological thriller, according to the trailer I watched, it had horror vibes. I’m not sure what was implied, but my life there had much different vibes. It was more comedy with notes of drama, adventure with a touch of musical, and cannot forget about romance. Maybe I’ll make my own short film about this city. Everyone does have their own perspective and that’s the beauty of film and media, we’re given a story through the writer/director’s point-of-view.

So anyway, with all that in mind said and done, we can’t forget what this weekend is… Mother’s Day! To my mother, I love you and appreciate all that you’ve done to raise me, even though I was a pain in the ass for just a decent amount of my childhood. Not too much hopefully. I know for a fact I would not be the man that I am today without you. Thank you for being my mom!

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The Right Title

When you’re making up your own story, which can be for a book, movie, or even a blog post, it’s never easy. Sometimes it can be a cinch, but lately for me, it’s been a struggle. No matter how simple or complex the story, I put in the research so I can make it right. The less voids/holes in the plot the better. Of course, it’s not going to be perfect.

However, once I have an idea of the story I’m going for and a little research later, I find myself going further down this sort of rabbit hole of a title. Could be simple or catchy, but I also want to make sure it isn’t copying anyone else’s which I find incredibly difficult (just because I don’t know how the world of copyright works and that it’s everywhere no matter what you do). And by this time, it’s almost impossible to come up with your own title that’s an original, unless of course you make up your own words. Like putting two words together, and somehow unfortunately for me, some made-up words I’ve looked up were also taken. Now I’m at a crossroad. But at this point, I think I’ve just accepted no matter what I decide to make my stories title, it’s my story, and no one else’s.

And that’s currently the story of my life lately…

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How Sleep Affects Your Happiness

As we evolve from being a young adult to adult, sleep starts to become less and less of a factor. And sometimes with that, lack of happiness. Not to say that you’re completely a sad old fart. You may tend to think about your past a bit more and remember some good times you had. But without a goal, constantly thinking of the past isn’t always a good thing. You forget to be present while being in the present. Just know that there are always going to be younger crowds than you and you may end up having to play the role model. Even if you didn’t choose to be, people could look up to you for inspiration.

I used to be that guy that always looked back at my past and wondered what went wrong with me, or why I’m not where I’d like to be in life. And also kept thinking about future plans for myself and think of steps to take to get to where it was, I want to be. But a good friend (and my hairstylist) once told me to live in the moment. And it hit me. There were so many times I was living in the moment and felt great about myself, but I quickly move on from it.

Now, just more recently, I’ve been trying to live my life in the moment and later on would recap my day. I would look back at the positives and if there were any negatives, I would quickly get through that and move on from it. Figure out what was not so great and try to learn from it to be better next time. And anything good, I like to soak that in just a bit longer because it felt great! It’s like I had my own highlight reel for myself like how you would see in pretty much every sport out there.

And to highlight this post, if you’re not feeling as great as you want to be, maybe you just need more sleep! At least we can start there.

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The Biggest Lesson I Learned from My First Job

Because I was only 16 when I first started working, mistakes were common but learning lessons was rare. Now, to be clear, I’m not just referring to my jobs. It’s my life altogether. As we stick to the working portion, one thing I know for sure when it comes to retail is you have to have good customer service skills. Other traits and your personality are more of a bonus to have when it comes to making conversation and having a connection.

Going back to my first job, McDonald’s. I’m not exactly sure how I was able to ace my interview but I did. My boss who interviewed me was amazed with my answers, but when it came to the job itself, there was so much to take in being in a fast-paced environment. For the most part, all I had to do was run the register, taking customer orders and greet them with a smile, which I did. However, there was a lack of motivation in my speech and how I was speaking to customers. How I know that: it was what my boss told me when she was letting me go. And unlike what we see in movies and television (at least from my experience), I was never told the words, “you’re fired.” It was almost always, “… we have to let you go” or “do better next time, stupid!” … okay, that last one was made up. But maybe a little transparency isn’t such a bad thing.

I personally prefer honesty, because that gives me insight on what I need to work on. Hence, the transparency. Having constructive criticism on our work is a good thing, but we cannot forget the how of it all. Like how to deliver the message to those so they can understand it and make the necessary adjustments needed to perform better at their jobs. Like I said before, it’s not just with our jobs, career, but with life.

Depending on your relationship and how you are with others, it’s easy to do or say something that could be taken out of context by someone else, just by saying the wrong thing… even if it’s not. That’s why I believe a huge part of conflict comes from misunderstandings. And how we react to it is mainly just our personality and lifestyle. These are the effects of life choices.

The choices we make determine how people perceive us, even if it’s one thing that doesn’t really define us. Unfortunately though, people are also quick to judge. But that’s also what makes us human. Whether it’s being bold in the moment or just trying something new, which I do quite often. And the end result: there are both rewards and consequences. For me, a good chunk of the reward is entertaining people like making them laugh. Then there’s the consequences…

As it may seem like I have this huge list of consequences, I’m pretty sure the positive outcome/rewards are about even, if not more. Like my constant battle with choosing to stay up late and almost every time waking up tired and unmotivated. Again, it’s all choice. The choice we make that has its’ consequences, has its’ rewards, all lead to the potential of having misunderstandings to conflict, and that gives us our personality.

My biggest takeaway from learning that I lacked motivation from my first job made me understood, knowing what I know now, who I was at that moment in my life. Quiet, in my shell and has yet to find my voice in the world. In public, I’m as shy as it gets, which makes it easier for people to take advantage of me, and have. Despite that, when I’m in my comfortable surrounding, I am quite expressive. Being around a smaller group of people or with one other person, I can just have a conversation with nothing held back. And that’s trust. Probably the reason why my inner circle was so small considering my life experiences. I put a lot of trust in people and there were times it backfired, but other times, it was incredibly rewarding.

So, no matter how long it takes you, if you haven’t already, take a moment to yourself to reflect on your life. Whether it hurt you or pleased you, just know, it’s a part of your life and your own. The outcome is what you make of it!

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