What Did I Want to Be Growing Up?

To some people, maybe their dreams stick with them throughout their childhood and into adulthood. Others, their dreams change constantly. Like me for example, what I wanted to do with my life was more about what was really going on in the world. Like what influence had a deeper effect on me. Let me break it down for you…

Michael Jordan

Oh yeah, the 90s was prime Jordan all the way. Watching the Bulls with my brothers was a whole experience in itself. From what I remember, if we weren’t watching the game we were playing it in the driveway. Oftentimes together but even when I was by myself or wanted to play, I would go out and make up scenarios in my mind to drive the experience playing basketball alone much more meaningful. I kept at it for a while… at least until the next big thing happened.

Tiger Woods and my uncle

Talk about revolutionizing the game of golf. Tiger was like a professional version of Happy Gilmore. The new wave of crowd and fans he brought in was surreal. It was shortly after his career blew up was about the same time my uncle introduced us all to the sport. I feel that with this particular game, everyone starts out terrible. I was no different. I used to get really upset the first few years of my golfing career. Eventually that changed (thank goodness), and I finally became a decent golfer. Which is why they say the game is mostly mental than physical, but it helps to have a good physique for the game.

This game however stuck around for me. I really did want to go pro, but I forgot to eat my vegetables during the crucial moments of my life and just stayed short and unworthy. But to this day golf still is one of my biggest passions in life.

The Hidden Reality?

Even while my childhood dreams continue to change, one thing that took a long while for me to notice was what didn’t change… cars. Fast cars. This realization that happened only just a few years ago made me wonder, “am I a professional racecar driver in disguised?”

Always was into cars growing up. For Christmas, I would get anything car stuff for the longest time. You know one of those electric racetracks that only require you to put your finger on the trigger. But if you press down all the way all the time, the car launches off the track. Like when Tim added more power to his car in Home Improvement. [insert grunting here]

Anyway, a little while after two crucial points hit: The Fast and the Furious released and my brother buying his first car and modifying it while I just watched him whenever I can on the weekends. I wouldn’t even say anything most of the time, if I heard him doing car work in the garage, I would stop anything I was doing and go out to see what he was working on next. This eventually would inspire me to do the same to my future first car. And I tell ya, if I could I would have never sold it because I was too lazy to look for a job to make money and instead went this route. Life choices.

With the Fast and Furious franchise (although they lost their way in the later films in my opinion), never knew how much my life would change. When that first movie released on DVD and my brother bought it, I watched it pretty much every day after school for who knows how long. It was my whole life for a while. And before I go deeper down this rabbit hole, I’ll save that story for another time.

For now, let’s say when I find myself driving down curved roads, I like to use the same line that professionals would use. I have this tendency to keep my speed up especially going on motorways but oftentimes I’m stuck behind drivers that will take almost any curved roads really slow… which I get. You’re being safe but the one downfall about that is you don’t accelerate fast enough getting on motorways where anyone already on it has to make these decisions they shouldn’t have to. “Oh man, do I slow down, speed up or merge over?” And if they can’t merge over from traffic, then they have to make a choice.

Me? I like to remove that choice for them. My style of driving is keeping everyone flowing smoothly (when they can). Now to be clear, I’m not weaving in and out of traffic or speeding like crazy. I go at what I’m comfortable with and stay out of the passing lane when possible. In theory, you would think this is pretty simple for anyone driving to manage but sadly it’s not… uhh, anyway I digress.

So, where was I?

I think it’s great that there are those out there who know what they want to do with their lives and stick it through. Here’s to hoping you enjoy it and that you’re living your life to the fullest. While I’m still figuring out mine, it’s just something that I can’t quite commit to. Only because I’m uncertain of what it is I want to do. Even today. To stick with one path and hoping it does work out. Maybe I’m just wired where I like to experience life one moment at a time and going with the flow. Someday maybe I will find what it is I’m looking for, but until then…

How I Manage My Time & Money

2 years ago (2020) the world experienced for the first time in this modern age, a pandemic. Right before everything pretty much shut down, I was working 7 days a week at a dead-end job that was burning me out. Sure, the money was good. But where’s my free time? When am I going to be able to spend this money? I couldn’t. For the longest, I was miserable because it was work, eat, & sleep, and not a whole lot else. My boss at the time jokingly said to me that I wasn’t getting any action. As in no sexy time. No making the bed rock. You get my point. I didn’t say it out loud, only thought about it to myself. I said to myself, “No sh*t. How am I going to meet women when I’m stuck working here every day?” Most of my energy was drained from the job. Yes, the job was easy. But when your boss asks you to do all these extra tasks and work, it’s difficult for me to say no. Not just that but the job can be stressful. Especially when things don’t go right (which was more than half the time). Machines would break down or not work properly, and half the time the lead engineers would not be around. That’s where I came in to start learning some of the stuff they did when they’re not around. My boss would rely on me quite a bit to do so much more than everyone else. He knows that I have the capabilities to do that because, and I say this lightly, I’m his best worker. No extra benefits. No incentives. No pay raise, nothing. Just a job well done (well, we did manage to get a dollar pay bump when I threatened to quit). I’m sure he didn’t do it on purpose, that is to take advantage of me. I was Dwight Schrute to his Michael Scott. Except he was no Michael Scott. The Assistant to the Manager. Overall, I will say he was a good boss though. Outside of the facts I mentioned. He lacked the charisma and hilariousness of what Michael Scott represented. Still a good boss, nonetheless.

Anyway, the lockdown happened, and I was off work for just over a month. I was collecting a nice treat from unemployment. To me, this was more money than I have ever made. From 7 days a week paycheck to the unemployment paychecks, I was transferring a good chunk of that to my savings account. With some proper budgeting, I know what was needed for my expenses and what could be used for leisure. I was still saving quite a bit. For the first time ever, my savings account was at its’ highest, and it continued to grow every week. So, what did I do with the free time that I had? I spent a good amount of it golfing with my nephews & their dad. We went out about once a week, and I forgot how good that felt. Forgetting how incredible of a golfer I was when I had time and practice to work on my golf game. Despite the terrible lasagna incident (loss of muscle mass and weight), I was still driving my tee shots pretty far. Money was definitely not an issue, and this was coming from someone who probably made about 50K a year. That’s it. That’s all it was, and need I remind you this was including overtime work, otherwise it would be much lower.

The point I’m making is with time and money, I could do so much greatness that will make an impact on not just my life, but those that are close to me. Not having the luxury of a wealthy life, I could only imagine what difference I could make with more time, more money. And without even realizing it, I’ve always been giving back to the community. The donations may be small, but it’s still something. Like rounding up my bill when I’m ordering food from a restaurant for a good cause or donating my clothes to Salvation Army and Goodwill instead of selling them. Growing up, I used to sleep on the floor. To make a living, my parents had to put in a lot of work to feed us kids. We didn’t have much, but we did make the most of what we had. So, if that tells you anything about my childhood, just know that I’m okay with the rough start to this incredible journey of my life. A journey with a story I hope to someday tell my future kids, and grandchildren. Something I never received myself considering I never met my grandparents. And being that I was transitioning from one language to another at a young age, I never got to hear the stories of my parents and what their life was like. How they met, the struggles in their everyday lives, coming to America and having me… the journey.

Outside from what this pandemic has brought us, it has gotten me to slow down my life a little bit to embrace it more. With a little soul searching, I am so grateful for this life I have and most of the people that are in it. Although, there are some things about me that is considered bad, I finally picked up on some of it and am working on bettering myself. Every day I try to be a better person. Every day I try to inspire hope for others. Helping others out towards their goals and dreams is a part of mine as well. I have a passion for life. All it took was a little perspective. Let’s change the world for the better!

A Pandemic Lockdown

It’s Monday and I’m back at work. My colleagues (most of them) were pleased to have me back. Back to the same witty, self-deprecating, sexual innuendo-esque me they deserve, but not the one they need (… Batman!). And as we’re all aware of Covid spreading more and more, and state governments going into a lockdown, we were still working (as per usual). Now, this is just my opinion but seems very likely, our department for the company felt like the only reason they didn’t go under. At least this branch that is. There was talk amongst my colleagues and I that the company was struggling to maintain a float. Could be why our scheduler kept giving our supplier numbers we could not produce even running 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Eventually, some of our products we made ended, thus leading us to working 5 days a week. But that wasn’t until later.

About 2 weeks since the state issued a mandatory lockdown to non-essential workers when we got to be ourselves, outside of what was going on with the world, I was relieved… because I already had plenty of toilet paper to last me about half the year. It’s a good thing I only have to supply for myself! Unfortunately though, I didn’t have much supply of food. So, I knew eventually I would have to head to the grocery store to stock up on that, sooner rather than later. 5 weeks. That’s how long I was off work. My sleep schedule within the first week changed instantly. I would go from sleeping around midnight to 8 in the morning, to anywhere when the sun came up to the early afternoon. I read that it’s not as healthy not to have a sleep schedule (plus my doctor told me that as well), but this is a pandemic we’re dealing with. So what now? To go from having no-days-off to all-the-time-in-the-world, what do I do?

School’s Out For Summer

As I’m doing my best to stay safe and quarantining myself at home, I take a trip down memory lane. Back to playing video games online with some of my friends. And instead of Socom like the high school days, it’s Call of Duty: Warzone. Probably the hottest selling game on the market, and they picked a perfect time to release it. My role in our team playing battle royale was “The Wildcard.” You’re not sure what to expect when we play together but one thing’s for sure, I’m normally the first one into the Gulag. One of our favorite spots to start out is at the prison… because it’s a lot easier to transfer me to the Gulag when I die. Here’s a little-known fact, we always tried to spray paint anyone that was in there with us. Makes it easier to spot them if they make it out (not that it matters now considering this game probably isn’t relevant anymore). I won’t forget the moment I won it for our team in a 2 on 1 situation. Everyone, including myself thought it was over. But lady luck was looking down on me that day. She was probably looking down on me doing other things, too (a celebratory wank followed by a good night’s sleep).

Away from Call of Duty, I was collecting unemployment and just started saving a ton of money. Being how we were in a lockdown and I had just recently moved into an apartment with my roommate, Joey. I thought the place could use a little sprucing up. This part of my life was called, “Amazon and chill.” For the next several months I would shop almost on a weekly basis from Amazon. Which by the way, a huge thank you to the Amazon team for continuing to be essential and deliver us products we don’t need. Our place was very welcoming, we had a rug and a neat coffee table along with a lot of other things. I would have friends over for a dinner party that summer and received high compliments on my place and hosting. I was very grateful for that (thank you HGTV for all the inspiration in the past decade!). Unfortunately, none of that lasted. Going into the place, I was expecting to stay at this apartment for at least a few years, but my plans changed again, so I ended up leaving and getting my own place. But that’s another story.

While I was still living with Joey, he brought me out to the shooting range for the first time in my life. Before this, I had never shot a gun before, not even paintball or a bb gun. The most I’ve ever done was playing with sticks that look like guns out in the woods when we would go camping. I’ll admit, that was still recent. It wasn’t just when I was a kid. But that’s life! There’s that kid in you that won’t ever burn out. So anyway, we’re at the range, and Joey is teaching me the basics and techniques of holding and firing a gun. I wasn’t exactly sure how I felt learning a new skill like this. Maybe because I was never into guns in the first place. Joey’s cousin brought a shotgun with him, and I tried that out… very interesting. That had quite the recoil/kickback. I remember not setting my feet correctly when I fired the shotgun, and it nearly sent me back to the womb… just kidding! I did almost fell down. That was pretty wild though. As of now, I’ll just stick to shooting guns in video games or sticks.

One Of Many Passions

The late 90s brought so much in its’ history alone. I had just learned about who Tiger Woods was. And after watching him golf for several years, my uncle introduced my brothers and I to it. It was one of the most frustrating, yet relaxing sports I ever played. Who knew hitting a tiny little ball hundreds of yards could bring joy to someone? I played this game for over 20 years with the exception of certain parts of my life where I hardly played. I loved the sport but as I got older, I noticed I wasn’t golfing as much as I used to or would like. A lot of my friends who I played with when we were younger found new passions or just did other things. On several occasions I would have some colleagues at the time to go with and it made me miss that feeling of why I used to golf as much as I did. Then with Covid, a couple of my nephews were bored staying home and playing video games, wanted to do something else. When the golf courses opened back up, it was something they wanted to get back into. They hardly played when they were younger, but this was something different than staying home and they wanted to get good at it. When they would ask me if I wanted to join them, I had forgotten myself that joy it brought me. I was very thankful for them for bringing that passion back in my life.

And an interesting experiment I had was golfing while I was in the clouds. That was quite something! So, what else did I do when I was high and in the clouds…?