What Did I Want to Be Growing Up?

To some people, maybe their dreams stick with them throughout their childhood and into adulthood. Others, their dreams change constantly. Like me for example, what I wanted to do with my life was more about what was really going on in the world. Like what influence had a deeper effect on me. Let me break it down for you…

Michael Jordan

Oh yeah, the 90s was prime Jordan all the way. Watching the Bulls with my brothers was a whole experience in itself. From what I remember, if we weren’t watching the game we were playing it in the driveway. Oftentimes together but even when I was by myself or wanted to play, I would go out and make up scenarios in my mind to drive the experience playing basketball alone much more meaningful. I kept at it for a while… at least until the next big thing happened.

Tiger Woods and my uncle

Talk about revolutionizing the game of golf. Tiger was like a professional version of Happy Gilmore. The new wave of crowd and fans he brought in was surreal. It was shortly after his career blew up was about the same time my uncle introduced us all to the sport. I feel that with this particular game, everyone starts out terrible. I was no different. I used to get really upset the first few years of my golfing career. Eventually that changed (thank goodness), and I finally became a decent golfer. Which is why they say the game is mostly mental than physical, but it helps to have a good physique for the game.

This game however stuck around for me. I really did want to go pro, but I forgot to eat my vegetables during the crucial moments of my life and just stayed short and unworthy. But to this day golf still is one of my biggest passions in life.

The Hidden Reality?

Even while my childhood dreams continue to change, one thing that took a long while for me to notice was what didn’t change… cars. Fast cars. This realization that happened only just a few years ago made me wonder, “am I a professional racecar driver in disguised?”

Always was into cars growing up. For Christmas, I would get anything car stuff for the longest time. You know one of those electric racetracks that only require you to put your finger on the trigger. But if you press down all the way all the time, the car launches off the track. Like when Tim added more power to his car in Home Improvement. [insert grunting here]

Anyway, a little while after two crucial points hit: The Fast and the Furious released and my brother buying his first car and modifying it while I just watched him whenever I can on the weekends. I wouldn’t even say anything most of the time, if I heard him doing car work in the garage, I would stop anything I was doing and go out to see what he was working on next. This eventually would inspire me to do the same to my future first car. And I tell ya, if I could I would have never sold it because I was too lazy to look for a job to make money and instead went this route. Life choices.

With the Fast and Furious franchise (although they lost their way in the later films in my opinion), never knew how much my life would change. When that first movie released on DVD and my brother bought it, I watched it pretty much every day after school for who knows how long. It was my whole life for a while. And before I go deeper down this rabbit hole, I’ll save that story for another time.

For now, let’s say when I find myself driving down curved roads, I like to use the same line that professionals would use. I have this tendency to keep my speed up especially going on motorways but oftentimes I’m stuck behind drivers that will take almost any curved roads really slow… which I get. You’re being safe but the one downfall about that is you don’t accelerate fast enough getting on motorways where anyone already on it has to make these decisions they shouldn’t have to. “Oh man, do I slow down, speed up or merge over?” And if they can’t merge over from traffic, then they have to make a choice.

Me? I like to remove that choice for them. My style of driving is keeping everyone flowing smoothly (when they can). Now to be clear, I’m not weaving in and out of traffic or speeding like crazy. I go at what I’m comfortable with and stay out of the passing lane when possible. In theory, you would think this is pretty simple for anyone driving to manage but sadly it’s not… uhh, anyway I digress.

So, where was I?

I think it’s great that there are those out there who know what they want to do with their lives and stick it through. Here’s to hoping you enjoy it and that you’re living your life to the fullest. While I’m still figuring out mine, it’s just something that I can’t quite commit to. Only because I’m uncertain of what it is I want to do. Even today. To stick with one path and hoping it does work out. Maybe I’m just wired where I like to experience life one moment at a time and going with the flow. Someday maybe I will find what it is I’m looking for, but until then…

My 2020 Experience

I think it’s safe to say 2020 was definitely something else. Anywhere from good to bad, to worst. You can call it what you want, the fact is, it’s now a part of our history. A crisis that shook the world. As an entire species, we had to get through it together. And to this day, we still are. As bad as it was, we still have to look on the bright side. To me it was more than just a pandemic, it was an opportunity. Taking the time to slow down and figure out more about life. My life. I was working at what appeared to be a dead-end job with no plans to change my future anytime soon. I wanted to try my luck with making YouTube videos but was never consistent with posting any content (maybe an average of 2 videos a year). Well, whatever was in stored for my future, I only knew one thing, and that wasn’t to work until I was 65 before retiring. Or maybe it was 59 1/2 (things may have changed and I forget what it is now). Either way, change was going to happen. It’s just a matter of when.

January

One of my many passions is that I like to bowl. Almost to the point where I could have gone pro. Been a part of leagues since I was 18 and did quite a bit of tournaments. Every January my teammates and I would compete in the state tournament. It was normally the first or second week to start the 5-month long tourney. Being that we went early, the goal was to set the benchmark for other teams to try to take us down. Unfortunately, we rarely ever set the benchmark for anyone to beat. However, there are side bets (jackpots and brackets) that we do and that’s normally when I win my fair share. Most of the time it was enough to cover all my expenses throughout the weekend, which is a win in my book!

This time around it was much different. On our last day somewhere in the middle of the tournament, we had gotten news that Kobe Bryant passed away in that horrific helicopter crash… I was shocked. Could not believe what had happened. It was all over the news and everything. Along with his daughter and the other passengers, my heart dropped. On the car ride home from the tournament, I was watching Kobe’s highlight reels and could not stop myself from crying. Tears were just running down my face constantly. Kobe was an icon to me. That mentality to win each and every time he stepped out onto the floor. He had the mindset of a winner and I will always appreciate what he did on the court. The first few days at work was just whatever to me. I made it quite known to my colleagues of what I was going through. Then one of my colleagues, Anne, said to me, “David. You didn’t even know him.” The look on my face when she said that. “Anne. Really? I’m going through something.” I’m paraphrasing of course. But it was very close to that. Now that I think of it, I would consider myself a pretty dramatic person. Probably has something to do with watching a lot of movies and TV shows. Anyway, Kobe was a symbol to the world and he changed the game of basketball for everyone that enjoyed the sport.

So somewhere in the middle of all this, and for several weeks prior, I met this young woman named Lexi. She’s also a bowler and a very good one to say the least. I was new in this league we were in together and very fortunately; our team was paired up next to her team for a month straight. Because of that, it gave me an opportunity to get to know her. At first it started with glances towards one another, and soon a smile. Then some of my teammates started talking to Lexi and her teammates. Now that the ice was broken, we started talking a little bit. And I could never understand why people try to talk softly to each other about the people they’re talking about… when they’re like an arm’s length away from them. I heard just about everything her teammate was saying about us. She told Lexi, “You have 3 to choose from.” … uh, no! The other 2 of my teammates she mentioned both are in relationships. They’re just a**holes! Looking for that lay. One of them is Harvey (You’ll have to check out ‘My Hopeless Romantic’ post so you know who I’m referring to). I was doing just fine talking to Lexi but Harvey always has this mindset where if he can’t get the girl, he’ll make it seem like he was the reason you got with them. What he did was nudged me towards her when I was already standing next to her and having an honest conversation. Each week that went by, Lexi and I talked more and more and got to know each other a little better. But not too long before Covid hit, one of the last times I saw her I was going to ask her out to see if she wanted to get something to eat after leagues. Unfortunately, Harvey kept butting in and blocked me out of doing so. Keeping the conversation between them. Then they walked out towards the car and I’m left all alone again… (Worst. Wingman. Ever) I did reach out to Lexi during the early stages of when we were on lockdown. Figured I might as well try my luck only for her to tell me she just recently started dating someone else (no, not Harvey. He has a fiancé (like that’s stopping him from anything)).

During the time we were bowling next to each other, I was crushing it. Normally when I’m trying to bowl well and impress a girl, I end up derping it. Not this time. At least I assume I impressed Lexi. After I asked her out, she did say she wanted to stay friends and wanted to keep me in her life, and thought we should do tournaments together. I agreed with her. But I also felt like she was hoping to keep me around in case things didn’t work out with the guy she was with at the time. Not long after that she just stopped responding to me completely. Which is fine, because life goes on (can’t be a little b*tch about it) and you can’t dwell in the past. In a way, this one goes in my hopeless romantic stories and there’s still a few more left to be told. Let’s just say this one is a bonus for you!

And to end this chapter with what’s to come in the next; I have the worst week of my life… and it’s from lasagna. Tune in next time.