Why I Stopped Smoking Weed

It started off just like any morning a typical family goes through. Dad is making breakfast, mom just got downstairs from getting ready for work, and the daughters are alongside the kitchen table. It’s family time. Dad is drinking coffee, the news is on the television, while the daughters are having breakfast. Then, everyone gets ready to head out for the day. They’re out on the road but having to stop due to traffic. Nobody has moved for some time. As the father, you start looking at the neighbor car person beside you to see if they see anything. Next thing you know it, you’re out of the car to figure out the problem. As you look around for a little bit, nothing has caught your attention… then it happens. In the distance you hear people screaming and running. Cars spontaneously catching fire, and before you know it, there it is. You see what appears to be a human being eating the flesh of another human. People are running in any direction possible, and now it’s all mayhem. Your adrenaline is fueling, heart is beating as if you were doing a marathon. You have to act fast. Get the family out of the car and head for a safe point. Is this really happening? Could this be a zombie apocalypse in the makings?

Paranoia

At this point my mind was taking in too much. I had no choice but to turn off World War Z (that’s what it’s like to be in Brad Pitt’s shoes at the time!?). Told myself that I’ll have to come back to that movie later when I’m not high af. It occurred to me that I wasn’t ready for something so dramatic and intense like that. That I should stick to comedies and feeling relaxed and in a good mood. I was definitely testing the waters and failed with this genre miserably (or a joy for others watching me trip balls). Apparently, I didn’t learn my lesson when sometime later I was watching Breaking Bad and that scene when Hank got that anonymous phone call about the cartel about to put a hit on him. Yeah, that was something else also. But it wasn’t watching these dramatic scenes that led me to stop smoking, although it may have played a part. It was more my surroundings. The best way to put it, to anyone that follows Breaking Bad (Season 1 Episode 4), how paranoid Jesse got thinking people were after him in which turned out to be missionaries. I may have put this thought in my head that my roommate at the time envied how much freedom I had considering my work didn’t do random drug testing but his did. When he was around, he would notice when I would be high, I may have heard him mumbling something to himself underneath his breath about me. Pretty much from there I would just end up having negative thoughts build up more and more to the point I had to stop completely.

With 2020 behind me, I no longer felt comfortable in my place of stay. Even after I wasn’t smoking, I still had these thoughts in my head that my roommate might have plot something against me. While I didn’t feel safe anymore at home, I felt the need to talk to a friend. So, I left town for a night to visit a friend and explain my situation. He talked me through the issue I was dealing with and while I was heading back home the next day, I made a couple phone calls to different apartments and got myself in. Long story short, I got all my things packed up and moved out in a single evening (longest day of my life). After I was done, I let my roommate know something came up and I left the apartment. Although it was very sudden, I do feel really bad doing what I did. It just comes to show what effects weed played a role on my well-being. I’m sure under the right state-of-mind it wouldn’t be so bad, but I would just rather not smoke anymore overall. Some people have their limits on things, and others don’t. I definitely hit my limit with this one particular… let’s go with phase. It’s the end of this chapter in my life and now on to the next.

2020 Conclusion

As I finish this post to end my 2020 chapter, it was most definitely one hell of a roller coaster ride. From the death of Kobe to eating bad lasagna. Witnessing and being a part of the entire world coming to a halt. Starting a binge of smoking weed and stopping. Testing positive for Covid-19. And doing a little soul searching. Of course, the women that have come and gone for a moment of my life. With everything that has happened, I now take advantage of each and every moment that has come my way. Even if it doesn’t feel like it is, just remember that you could be the one to change the status and outcome of what’s in front of you. Look at it as an opportunity. An opportunity to make memories. With those you care about, and even those that you just met. You never know where you’re going to meet a potential mate or friend. And as my biggest crush Hilary Duff would say, “Why Not?” Take a crazy chance. And do a crazy dance. Because if you lose out on any moment, you could miss out on a lot (no wonder why I’m crushing on her). Thank you for taking the time to read, not just this post, but any of my other posts if you had the chance to. I hope you all enjoyed it. I really liked writing these experiences I had in my past to maybe give you, the reader, what it’s like to be in my shoes during these times. Even if one of these shoes just so happened to smack me in the head. It inspired memories (or gave me a concussion)!

My 2020 Experience

I think it’s safe to say 2020 was definitely something else. Anywhere from good to bad, to worst. You can call it what you want, the fact is, it’s now a part of our history. A crisis that shook the world. As an entire species, we had to get through it together. And to this day, we still are. As bad as it was, we still have to look on the bright side. To me it was more than just a pandemic, it was an opportunity. Taking the time to slow down and figure out more about life. My life. I was working at what appeared to be a dead-end job with no plans to change my future anytime soon. I wanted to try my luck with making YouTube videos but was never consistent with posting any content (maybe an average of 2 videos a year). Well, whatever was in stored for my future, I only knew one thing, and that wasn’t to work until I was 65 before retiring. Or maybe it was 59 1/2 (things may have changed and I forget what it is now). Either way, change was going to happen. It’s just a matter of when.

January

One of my many passions is that I like to bowl. Almost to the point where I could have gone pro. Been a part of leagues since I was 18 and did quite a bit of tournaments. Every January my teammates and I would compete in the state tournament. It was normally the first or second week to start the 5-month long tourney. Being that we went early, the goal was to set the benchmark for other teams to try to take us down. Unfortunately, we rarely ever set the benchmark for anyone to beat. However, there are side bets (jackpots and brackets) that we do and that’s normally when I win my fair share. Most of the time it was enough to cover all my expenses throughout the weekend, which is a win in my book!

This time around it was much different. On our last day somewhere in the middle of the tournament, we had gotten news that Kobe Bryant passed away in that horrific helicopter crash… I was shocked. Could not believe what had happened. It was all over the news and everything. Along with his daughter and the other passengers, my heart dropped. On the car ride home from the tournament, I was watching Kobe’s highlight reels and could not stop myself from crying. Tears were just running down my face constantly. Kobe was an icon to me. That mentality to win each and every time he stepped out onto the floor. He had the mindset of a winner and I will always appreciate what he did on the court. The first few days at work was just whatever to me. I made it quite known to my colleagues of what I was going through. Then one of my colleagues, Anne, said to me, “David. You didn’t even know him.” The look on my face when she said that. “Anne. Really? I’m going through something.” I’m paraphrasing of course. But it was very close to that. Now that I think of it, I would consider myself a pretty dramatic person. Probably has something to do with watching a lot of movies and TV shows. Anyway, Kobe was a symbol to the world and he changed the game of basketball for everyone that enjoyed the sport.

So somewhere in the middle of all this, and for several weeks prior, I met this young woman named Lexi. She’s also a bowler and a very good one to say the least. I was new in this league we were in together and very fortunately; our team was paired up next to her team for a month straight. Because of that, it gave me an opportunity to get to know her. At first it started with glances towards one another, and soon a smile. Then some of my teammates started talking to Lexi and her teammates. Now that the ice was broken, we started talking a little bit. And I could never understand why people try to talk softly to each other about the people they’re talking about… when they’re like an arm’s length away from them. I heard just about everything her teammate was saying about us. She told Lexi, “You have 3 to choose from.” … uh, no! The other 2 of my teammates she mentioned both are in relationships. They’re just a**holes! Looking for that lay. One of them is Harvey (You’ll have to check out ‘My Hopeless Romantic’ post so you know who I’m referring to). I was doing just fine talking to Lexi but Harvey always has this mindset where if he can’t get the girl, he’ll make it seem like he was the reason you got with them. What he did was nudged me towards her when I was already standing next to her and having an honest conversation. Each week that went by, Lexi and I talked more and more and got to know each other a little better. But not too long before Covid hit, one of the last times I saw her I was going to ask her out to see if she wanted to get something to eat after leagues. Unfortunately, Harvey kept butting in and blocked me out of doing so. Keeping the conversation between them. Then they walked out towards the car and I’m left all alone again… (Worst. Wingman. Ever) I did reach out to Lexi during the early stages of when we were on lockdown. Figured I might as well try my luck only for her to tell me she just recently started dating someone else (no, not Harvey. He has a fiancĂ© (like that’s stopping him from anything)).

During the time we were bowling next to each other, I was crushing it. Normally when I’m trying to bowl well and impress a girl, I end up derping it. Not this time. At least I assume I impressed Lexi. After I asked her out, she did say she wanted to stay friends and wanted to keep me in her life, and thought we should do tournaments together. I agreed with her. But I also felt like she was hoping to keep me around in case things didn’t work out with the guy she was with at the time. Not long after that she just stopped responding to me completely. Which is fine, because life goes on (can’t be a little b*tch about it) and you can’t dwell in the past. In a way, this one goes in my hopeless romantic stories and there’s still a few more left to be told. Let’s just say this one is a bonus for you!

And to end this chapter with what’s to come in the next; I have the worst week of my life… and it’s from lasagna. Tune in next time.