A Long Time Ago, I Farted

Going back to my childhood, not long after moving into our first house with my family, I was with my brother and sister in the downstairs living room. For the most part, we were watching TV, then suddenly, my brother let’s off a fart. Like the kids that we were, everyone laughed. Shortly after, my sister would do the same. And again, more laughing. But not realizing then, I was put on the spot. I felt like it was my turn to take a fart. The only problem was I didn’t have one loaded up. But I didn’t want to disappoint everyone (which was just the 3 of us), so I did my best to release what I could. Pushing a little too hard, it was at that moment, I had to throw out my underwear. I completely shat myself!

I don’t know if there was a moral to this story. But who doesn’t like a good fart?! And just for the record, I was able to fart… it just came with bonus material.

Taking a Sh*t at Work

Other than ‘you’ve decided you’re comfortable dropping loads at work’, which is pretty satisfying. Butt… there’s more and there’s another reason behind that. Let’s be real, if you have to go, you have to go. The thing is we all pretty much can schedule our day of knowing if you’re setting yourself up to poop at work, home, or almost anywhere else. Assuming you know your body well enough, you’ll know what types of food will upset your stomach and which ones will settle just fine. Sure, you’re going to squeeze out a fart here and there. It happens. It’s just a question of how badly it smells or not that will determine your pooping future.

The other thing is, and let’s say it’s on just about an everyday basis, are people just taking advantage of getting paid while taking a dump? Is there a lot of free time for them to do so? Or maybe the job itself is what leads to doing these things. With me, I try not to when I’m at work. Afraid I might leave a trail of smell as if I’m constantly crop dusting. But one of my last jobs I would do the pooping several times a week. The job I was at I felt like I couldn’t move anywhere. As if I had maxed out in job position and my pay was as well. For the most part I did all I could and moved up as far as I’m able to. My boss did ask a lot from me but without the benefits. So… I do the pooping. Or should I say did. And with that, I’ll smell ya on the next one!