The Untold Story: About Life… so far

When it comes to people, how do you know you can trust them? Like really. I’m not trying to start anything or initiate some wrongdoing. All I’m saying is whenever you’re doing or saying something and people, whether they are your friends, family, or coworkers, they without letting you know might have more to express about you behind your back. Unfortunately, I’ve been in some similar situations. The problem is the individual or multiple people that are involved don’t say anything to you. And that’s where and when the problem begins. If you’re a very open-minded and observant person, you’ll notice some things. The truth is, all you expect in return is the truth. People to tell you when something is wrong, or when you may have something to do with the problem. Those are the people that I respect. But the issue I have is when things are unsaid. I’ve spent more than enough of my life to know that if something is wrong, I would like to know about it. That’s why anyone who tells me anything, I respect them whole heartedly. But then there’s the people who decide to keep things to themselves. Or at least with those they feel are close to them. How do you expect a relationship to be stronger if you can’t even tell the person you feel who is bothering you about a problem what’s wrong?

I’m sure a lot of this has to do with overthinking, but sometimes my overthinking personally has been right. But it’s been wrong at times… and then there’s your gut. When you have a gut feeling about something, like the old saying says… “go with your gut” or something like that. I honestly don’t know any more at this point. Everyone lives their own lives. There’s only so much we can do to change it. Pastors, Motivators, Phycologist, Teachers and whatnot. At some point in our lives, we need to be aware of what we know. And what we can change to better ourselves as human beings. Life is short. Make the most with what you have to work with. Just be sure it’s something positive and can give hope for generations to overcome adversity.

School’s Out, But What About Work?

It’s summer, and if you’re a student or you just graduated or even got your degree, what’s next? Assuming you’re old enough to work, figuring out if you’re actually ready to work or not is another question. Maybe you’ve got a planned vacation and need to save up some money. Or even to do things with friends and family with all sorts of activities and events. And if you’ve been working, you already know. There’s no time off from work. Man, being responsible sucks. From keeping a roof over your head and your stomach fed, there is no summer break… and with that I say, “Welcome to Life.” Whatever choice you make with the money you work for, just remember it’s your decision on what you get to spend it on. Just be sure to balance out all your expenses and priorities first. Sure, people can put their 2 cents in and opinions on telling you what to do with your money, but it’s only 2 cents. If you ask me, I’ll give you my 10 cents in what you should do. Which is a lot more, but definitely not as much as 50 Cent. He’s a baller! Where was I going with this?

And if you need money, “call JG Wentworth! 8-7-7-CASH-NOW!” Sorry, I had to. There’s a lesson in here somewhere. I just don’t know what it is… Make money. Live your life. Make your own decisions. And you should never have to wonder what would happen if you let someone else decide for you. But if you need the help, then by all means, look at it as a guide towards a better life.

Guardian Angel

I can’t speak for everyone when it comes to the spirit and soul having a connection with a higher power. But I’ve seen my fair share of YouTube videos where people were put into a life and death situation and last second being protected from leaving this world. It’s not just life and death that these angels are here watching over us for, but with the obstacles and difficulties we find ourselves in. If life were too easy to manage, then we wouldn’t learn any real lessons. Take me for example. My life has been very difficult and a lot of situations I’ve been in were a trainwreck, in which I’ve learned a lot of lessons from. I have asked to those watching over me to take it easy a bit. As in if this life was like a video game, to turn the difficulty settings down a notch or two. I’m not ready to play on All-Madden yet or Survival mode in Fallout 4 where when you get shot, your health continues to deplete until your inevitable death. And that’s how life is here on Earth. After so many thousands of years the human race has existed on this planet, we’re all still hating on each other because of the color of our skin and living together on this beautiful planet that we’re destroying.

Rick & Morty was right. Remember that episode where the world of snakes was at war with each other over race? I know it’s just an animated television show but there’s some truth to that. It’s terrible. To this day, we’re still dealing with that. I was door dashing the other week and went to pick up a food order from this bar, and while I was waiting for the order to be ready, this older gentle… I don’t even think I can call him a gentleman considering how he wouldn’t stop staring at me (and not in a good way). Just a straight up angry b*tch face. That made me feel out of place and uncomfortable. I wasn’t harming anybody. Just doing my job and trying to make a living. Anyway, I just felt like I had to get some of these things off my chest. All I know is, I’m not giving up on this planet. There’s still so much fascinating sites and scenery to see in this world that I would love to visit… and I’m sure many of you would too!

NPC In Real Life

Do you never think to yourself about the job you have where you do the same thing every day? Like knowing when you go into work you don’t really expect anything too different to happen. It is just a job after all. You gotta do what you gotta do to put money in your bank account and bread on the table. Whether you’re making a living, or just enough to survive. There’s that same repetitive motion you do with specific responsibilities. Now, unless you don’t play video games, NPC means “Non-Playable Character”. Take Free Guy for example. If you’ve ever seen the movie, (spoiler alert) you’ll know the characters go through the same routine over and over. It’s basically going into the lives of video game characters and what they experience on a daily basis. But obviously, for the most part we don’t deal with the crazy situations they do. One of my jobs I work at I talk to customers all the time. I almost always say the same thing to each and every one of them. But I do restrain myself from asking how their day is or what they have planned if they’re not so talkative or are on the phone with someone, etc. Yesterday I actually said to a few customers the line blue shirt guy said, “Don’t have a good day. Have a great day!” At work, I’m a lively NPC character, but outside of work… I rock the sunglasses. Which makes me, a hero! (Minus the crazy action sequences) But one of my favorite quotes from the movie would have to be from what Buddy said, “Even if I’m not real. This moment is, right here right now. This moment is real…” That hit me differently. Because from what everyone may say about whether this life we’re all living is real, a simulation, or whatever Science Fiction scenario you want to come up with, we just have to live our lives to the best of our abilities… and believe that humanity will thrive, together!

Moving Out?

Are you finally ready to be on your own? Whether you’re leaving your parents/guardian’s place, or no longer in need of roommates, the decision to go at it alone is more complicated than it seems. As someone who has gone through just that, and still is, it’s been a struggle. I really should have checked with my mom before even considering the option to move out. But being that I was under a certain situation, it felt like I didn’t even have a choice. When you take an underdeveloped mind from a person, manipulation can come pretty easy. Either way, your parents or guardians are most likely going to be the best option for this life changing decision. I was nowhere near close to moving out when I did. It was difficult for me already just to clean up after myself. Which could be the reason chores exist. If you do them well, you’re on your way out the door. As much as I would like to be better when it comes to cleaning up after cooking, doing laundry, or bathroom duties, it might just be easier for me to hire a maid. So, moral of the story is, if you are terrible at keeping your place clean and you have money, get yourself a maid. At least until you decide you want to make some changes that’ll make you feel better. And don’t worry, it should be strictly professional. You’re more than welcome to fantasize about what your version of a maid is to you.

This Unspoken Thing Called Love

You’re standing there. Eyes gazing into one another. There’s so much you want to say to her, especially how you feel about her as well… but you don’t. Instead, you play the role of the good guy who listens to what she is telling you so you could respond with an answer that isn’t anything but the point. Either way, that tension that you have with each other isn’t just coming from you. It goes both ways. At least that’s what you tell yourself. Because you have to believe that she feels the same way. The entire time you’ve known each other nothing ever happens. Only because you don’t want to ruin a good thing. And that’s the problem that us guys have telling the women we fancy how we feel. Expressing our feelings is one of the hardest tasks to do. No matter how many times you may play out the scenario in your head, or out loud to yourself in your one-bedroom apartment with no one around to hear you (except maybe your neighbors if you’re loud enough), when you’re put on the spot, it’s a much different story. So, what do you do? If the wrong move is made, you may have just destroyed everything you’ve built in that relationship. But at least you gave it a shot. In my opinion, the chase is something we all love to feel. Not knowing if the person you like, actually likes you back. Whether it’s love or not, how are you ever going to know if you don’t give it a chance? You’re just going to have to figure it out for yourself.

How I Manage My Time & Money

2 years ago (2020) the world experienced for the first time in this modern age, a pandemic. Right before everything pretty much shut down, I was working 7 days a week at a dead-end job that was burning me out. Sure, the money was good. But where’s my free time? When am I going to be able to spend this money? I couldn’t. For the longest, I was miserable because it was work, eat, & sleep, and not a whole lot else. My boss at the time jokingly said to me that I wasn’t getting any action. As in no sexy time. No making the bed rock. You get my point. I didn’t say it out loud, only thought about it to myself. I said to myself, “No sh*t. How am I going to meet women when I’m stuck working here every day?” Most of my energy was drained from the job. Yes, the job was easy. But when your boss asks you to do all these extra tasks and work, it’s difficult for me to say no. Not just that but the job can be stressful. Especially when things don’t go right (which was more than half the time). Machines would break down or not work properly, and half the time the lead engineers would not be around. That’s where I came in to start learning some of the stuff they did when they’re not around. My boss would rely on me quite a bit to do so much more than everyone else. He knows that I have the capabilities to do that because, and I say this lightly, I’m his best worker. No extra benefits. No incentives. No pay raise, nothing. Just a job well done (well, we did manage to get a dollar pay bump when I threatened to quit). I’m sure he didn’t do it on purpose, that is to take advantage of me. I was Dwight Schrute to his Michael Scott. Except he was no Michael Scott. The Assistant to the Manager. Overall, I will say he was a good boss though. Outside of the facts I mentioned. He lacked the charisma and hilariousness of what Michael Scott represented. Still a good boss, nonetheless.

Anyway, the lockdown happened, and I was off work for just over a month. I was collecting a nice treat from unemployment. To me, this was more money than I have ever made. From 7 days a week paycheck to the unemployment paychecks, I was transferring a good chunk of that to my savings account. With some proper budgeting, I know what was needed for my expenses and what could be used for leisure. I was still saving quite a bit. For the first time ever, my savings account was at its’ highest, and it continued to grow every week. So, what did I do with the free time that I had? I spent a good amount of it golfing with my nephews & their dad. We went out about once a week, and I forgot how good that felt. Forgetting how incredible of a golfer I was when I had time and practice to work on my golf game. Despite the terrible lasagna incident (loss of muscle mass and weight), I was still driving my tee shots pretty far. Money was definitely not an issue, and this was coming from someone who probably made about 50K a year. That’s it. That’s all it was, and need I remind you this was including overtime work, otherwise it would be much lower.

The point I’m making is with time and money, I could do so much greatness that will make an impact on not just my life, but those that are close to me. Not having the luxury of a wealthy life, I could only imagine what difference I could make with more time, more money. And without even realizing it, I’ve always been giving back to the community. The donations may be small, but it’s still something. Like rounding up my bill when I’m ordering food from a restaurant for a good cause or donating my clothes to Salvation Army and Goodwill instead of selling them. Growing up, I used to sleep on the floor. To make a living, my parents had to put in a lot of work to feed us kids. We didn’t have much, but we did make the most of what we had. So, if that tells you anything about my childhood, just know that I’m okay with the rough start to this incredible journey of my life. A journey with a story I hope to someday tell my future kids, and grandchildren. Something I never received myself considering I never met my grandparents. And being that I was transitioning from one language to another at a young age, I never got to hear the stories of my parents and what their life was like. How they met, the struggles in their everyday lives, coming to America and having me… the journey.

Outside from what this pandemic has brought us, it has gotten me to slow down my life a little bit to embrace it more. With a little soul searching, I am so grateful for this life I have and most of the people that are in it. Although, there are some things about me that is considered bad, I finally picked up on some of it and am working on bettering myself. Every day I try to be a better person. Every day I try to inspire hope for others. Helping others out towards their goals and dreams is a part of mine as well. I have a passion for life. All it took was a little perspective. Let’s change the world for the better!

Talk Rose, Not Sh*t

Everywhere we go, we see something that entertains us. From watching actors in movies & TV shows, to professional athletes playing whatever sport they are. We boo them. We praise them. If someone was shooting a free throw, or pitching a ball, wouldn’t we want to not say the same old thing that’s clearly not working? “Pitchers got a big butt!” Why not, “Pitchers got a big d*ck!” He will feel way too good about himself where he’ll throw a perfect home-run pitch. People cheer and people sigh. And all the pitcher is left with, is a very plumped pen*s.

Restaurants: Hosts, Servers & More

Where do I begin? While my memory of this is still pretty fresh, I’d like to get some things off my chest. And let me just say, for the sake of argument, this is from my personal experience. Everywhere else I’m sure is different but at the same time has its’ similarities. Let’s go into the restaurant business, the place of where I work but will not say what business for legal purposes. Not that the place of where I work is important, rather it’s the people, as is anywhere else. 5 months. That’s how long I’ve worked in this establishment. And on a few occasions, I wanted to quit due to the people. But I stuck around because I knew I needed the money and I had to keep the roof over my head and my stomach well fed. With that being said, let’s get right to it!

Life of A Host

Here at my job, I have only so many responsibilities; greet the guests, seat them, bust and wipe tables, and a few other things. That’s pretty much it. Which makes sense why host positions only make so much money. They don’t have to deal with guests like the servers do, which I will give them the benefit of a doubt of having to deal with all sorts of people. Some people will do whatever they can just to get a free meal, while others will kindly make your life easier and tip you very well. Pretty much one of those two or anything in-between. Now, depending on where you work, you could either be just a host, bust person, or both. In my situation I do both. But to clarify my position the best is that when I bust tables, I have to take care of almost anything that isn’t plates and bowls. Pretty much I have to take care of trash like napkins and wrappers, then cups and silverware. Either way, the job is easy, but it’s the repetitiveness of the job that takes a toll on you. This is where the position of a server makes or breaks you (and it depends on the person). They will do their job well, or not at all. With some servers, I find myself doing their jobs more often than I should. When they see that I’m picking up after them, some, not all, are going to take advantage of the situation. They will expect you to do that part of their job all the time because they know they can get away with it. Less work on their part, right?! I get it. I’m just a host. But that’s not the point I’m trying to make at all. We’re all human-beings, or I’d like to think we are. Taking advantage of someone was never how I was raised, and I would be ashamed of myself if I knew I did that to others. I’d like to say I see everyone as equals. No one should be above anybody else (in a perfect world).

So, on this particular day, I had worked a day I don’t typically work, and several of my colleagues (servers) did exactly just that. Left the plates and bowls piled up at their section. Even after I would ignore cleaning up their tables for some time, nothing was picked up. Eventually I caved in. I took care of their plates, their bowls, and cleaned the table and got them sat with more guests, like nothing ever happened to them. I was aggravated! I was ready to walk out of my job, but I knew in the back of my mind that I needed this job, despite how little I was getting paid. Actually, the pay wasn’t terrible considering I would get a tip-out. It was more my position than anything else. I could be wrong, but it seems like most people don’t respect the host position, like all they do is greet and seat guests from any other perspective. We do have conversations with the guests as well and on top of that, other responsibilities too! One thing I know about being a host is that if you don’t do your job correctly, we, as hosts, have the power to get servers more seats or not. So, don’t f**k with us! Otherwise, I won’t hesitate to skip your turn when rotation is up. We’re here to do our jobs just like anyone else. Don’t get me wrong, there are some colleagues of mine that I enjoy working with. We all do our part and life goes on. “Out of sight, out of mind.” That reference hits me in another way. If you do your job to the best of your abilities, a lot of people won’t think twice about what you do. Clean tables and chairs well enough, no one will know how dirty it may have been before you sat there. Like water under the bridge.

Narcissism

Where don’t you see this? From colleagues to superiors, it’s all the same. The title doesn’t matter, it always comes down to specifics, and that’s every person as an individual. Unfortunately, I’m dealing with a manager that is this way. I’m sure many of you can relate when I say this, but when I’m having a “conversation” with someone, and they tend to go on a rant about their life or anything that’s brought up by them, once you mention something that correlates with the topic that they say, they will immediately cut you off before you can barely get a few words out. Everything always has to be about them. Nothing you say matters to their eyes and ears. The way I see it, they seem to need it more than I do. Basically, what I’m trying to say is if when I’m trying to tell a story or say something that relates to what they’re going through, and they aren’t having it, on multiple occasions and I pick up on that, I’m done! I don’t care anymore about what they tell me because from past experiences, all these types of people tend to care about is themselves. (I will go more into details about this in the next post) And just so we’re all in an understanding, I’m getting my information based off real life experiences. People that I deal with on almost a daily basis. Whether they pretend to care or just walk away once they’re done getting what they need to get off their chest.

This leads me to my next subject. I know my time working in a restaurant establishment is very short, but that doesn’t mean the way I see things means my mind doesn’t take things in quickly. In layman’s term, it doesn’t take me long to figure out about how people are with one another and in the work environment. I see past the bulls**t because there are, or should I say were, people in my life that were the same way. Those that pretend to care about me when I’m most certain talk about me behind my back because I tend to be very honest and calling them out on their b.s. I find my life not to be that interesting, but things still happen. To these types of people, they will find a way to change the story to make it sound like something you would see in a movie. Always over the top (at least with most action movies).

What Have We Learned?

Life will go on. No matter how much it affects us. People will be… well, people. You never know what to expect except that you should expect the possibilities that anything is possible. It’s quite a mouthful, I know. But the truth is gossip never sleeps but you do. And when you’re sleeping, you’re dreaming. Dreaming of wherever inception takes you. Whatever the situation, you’re chasing your dreams. Going after what matters and making the most of your life. Don’t ever let anybody steer you down the wrong path, because it’s just obstacles in the way of your success.

Whatever is in stored for me and my future, I just know that I will make the most with what I have to work with. Through the good times and bad, it’s memories I’m capturing and using as fuel for the fire that burns within me… or just another great story to tell. And if you still haven’t learned anything from this post, learn this; people will be people. Pay close attention to who your real friends are, because they are the ones that will be there for you during the hardest times and will be there to celebrate with you during the best of times. Ooh-Rah!

A Pandemic Lockdown

It’s Monday and I’m back at work. My colleagues (most of them) were pleased to have me back. Back to the same witty, self-deprecating, sexual innuendo-esque me they deserve, but not the one they need (… Batman!). And as we’re all aware of Covid spreading more and more, and state governments going into a lockdown, we were still working (as per usual). Now, this is just my opinion but seems very likely, our department for the company felt like the only reason they didn’t go under. At least this branch that is. There was talk amongst my colleagues and I that the company was struggling to maintain a float. Could be why our scheduler kept giving our supplier numbers we could not produce even running 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Eventually, some of our products we made ended, thus leading us to working 5 days a week. But that wasn’t until later.

About 2 weeks since the state issued a mandatory lockdown to non-essential workers when we got to be ourselves, outside of what was going on with the world, I was relieved… because I already had plenty of toilet paper to last me about half the year. It’s a good thing I only have to supply for myself! Unfortunately though, I didn’t have much supply of food. So, I knew eventually I would have to head to the grocery store to stock up on that, sooner rather than later. 5 weeks. That’s how long I was off work. My sleep schedule within the first week changed instantly. I would go from sleeping around midnight to 8 in the morning, to anywhere when the sun came up to the early afternoon. I read that it’s not as healthy not to have a sleep schedule (plus my doctor told me that as well), but this is a pandemic we’re dealing with. So what now? To go from having no-days-off to all-the-time-in-the-world, what do I do?

School’s Out For Summer

As I’m doing my best to stay safe and quarantining myself at home, I take a trip down memory lane. Back to playing video games online with some of my friends. And instead of Socom like the high school days, it’s Call of Duty: Warzone. Probably the hottest selling game on the market, and they picked a perfect time to release it. My role in our team playing battle royale was “The Wildcard.” You’re not sure what to expect when we play together but one thing’s for sure, I’m normally the first one into the Gulag. One of our favorite spots to start out is at the prison… because it’s a lot easier to transfer me to the Gulag when I die. Here’s a little-known fact, we always tried to spray paint anyone that was in there with us. Makes it easier to spot them if they make it out (not that it matters now considering this game probably isn’t relevant anymore). I won’t forget the moment I won it for our team in a 2 on 1 situation. Everyone, including myself thought it was over. But lady luck was looking down on me that day. She was probably looking down on me doing other things, too (a celebratory wank followed by a good night’s sleep).

Away from Call of Duty, I was collecting unemployment and just started saving a ton of money. Being how we were in a lockdown and I had just recently moved into an apartment with my roommate, Joey. I thought the place could use a little sprucing up. This part of my life was called, “Amazon and chill.” For the next several months I would shop almost on a weekly basis from Amazon. Which by the way, a huge thank you to the Amazon team for continuing to be essential and deliver us products we don’t need. Our place was very welcoming, we had a rug and a neat coffee table along with a lot of other things. I would have friends over for a dinner party that summer and received high compliments on my place and hosting. I was very grateful for that (thank you HGTV for all the inspiration in the past decade!). Unfortunately, none of that lasted. Going into the place, I was expecting to stay at this apartment for at least a few years, but my plans changed again, so I ended up leaving and getting my own place. But that’s another story.

While I was still living with Joey, he brought me out to the shooting range for the first time in my life. Before this, I had never shot a gun before, not even paintball or a bb gun. The most I’ve ever done was playing with sticks that look like guns out in the woods when we would go camping. I’ll admit, that was still recent. It wasn’t just when I was a kid. But that’s life! There’s that kid in you that won’t ever burn out. So anyway, we’re at the range, and Joey is teaching me the basics and techniques of holding and firing a gun. I wasn’t exactly sure how I felt learning a new skill like this. Maybe because I was never into guns in the first place. Joey’s cousin brought a shotgun with him, and I tried that out… very interesting. That had quite the recoil/kickback. I remember not setting my feet correctly when I fired the shotgun, and it nearly sent me back to the womb… just kidding! I did almost fell down. That was pretty wild though. As of now, I’ll just stick to shooting guns in video games or sticks.

One Of Many Passions

The late 90s brought so much in its’ history alone. I had just learned about who Tiger Woods was. And after watching him golf for several years, my uncle introduced my brothers and I to it. It was one of the most frustrating, yet relaxing sports I ever played. Who knew hitting a tiny little ball hundreds of yards could bring joy to someone? I played this game for over 20 years with the exception of certain parts of my life where I hardly played. I loved the sport but as I got older, I noticed I wasn’t golfing as much as I used to or would like. A lot of my friends who I played with when we were younger found new passions or just did other things. On several occasions I would have some colleagues at the time to go with and it made me miss that feeling of why I used to golf as much as I did. Then with Covid, a couple of my nephews were bored staying home and playing video games, wanted to do something else. When the golf courses opened back up, it was something they wanted to get back into. They hardly played when they were younger, but this was something different than staying home and they wanted to get good at it. When they would ask me if I wanted to join them, I had forgotten myself that joy it brought me. I was very thankful for them for bringing that passion back in my life.

And an interesting experiment I had was golfing while I was in the clouds. That was quite something! So, what else did I do when I was high and in the clouds…?