Tag: Family

My Perception of Life: Teenage Years

Life for me as a kid I had one focus: making friends. I didn’t realize it then but looking back at it, that really seemed to be the case. The friends I made growing up I had just one feeling every time we would hang out, and that was happiness. Although I didn’t have many friends, my parents did, and their friends had kids of their own. All these other kids were right around the same age as me and we hung out often. This is one of those situations where you would consider them family-friends. Even though we weren’t related, we still considered each other family.

Teenage Years

One of the first major turning points in my life happened during my high school years. But it wasn’t just one specific thing, it was many things that accumulated. New friendships, my love for cars skyrocketed, and of course, my first high school girlfriend. “Snuggly Bear.” I never called her that, just what she referred to herself in the letters we would write each other. Anyone else remember that? Letters! Seriously, when was the last time you wrote a letter to someone? I write maybe one letter a year.

Anyway, a lot of the friends that I also made, we had so much in common. Things like playing sports, video games, and sometimes we would rent a movie that was more horror-esque and pick characters in them who we would claim as ourselves and see who makes it out alive at the end. Also, another thing with horror-type video games, we would rent them and see how far we can get before having to return them. From what I remember, I was typically the one playing the game while my friends would watch. They were more interested in the viewing aspect while giving me options and observing the gameplay, all while I had to make whatever choices that doesn’t lead to death.

Even though I didn’t get my driver’s license until I was 18, that didn’t stop me from being around cars. My older brother was a great example of that. During the weekends, when he would be working on his car in the garage, the moment I heard tools and other mechanical noises, I would pretty much run out to observe. I feel like the reason I did this was to see if I could learn from anything my brother does. I would ask him about what he would be working on or what modifications he would be doing, while still trying not to bother him too much. At least up until the point when I would have my own car to work on. In these early days, we only had 2 Fast & Furious movies out and during this time I could definitely say that I admired Paul Walker’s taste in cars. To this day, I still can’t afford the cars he drove in the movies, which led me to get the next closest thing… affordably.

With all these things that I mentioned and how great they sounded, maybe you’re wondering where the turning point comes in. Because from what we know, turning points are tendencies for conflict. When it came to school, my education was subpar. Bad grades can only lead you so far in life… or so they say. It helps, but a lot of experience with life in general can open up a lot of opportunities. With my grades not doing so great, my relationship with my friends became a bit bumpy as well. At this time, as much as I loved having friends, I never considered what would happen when we all started to get comfortable around each other.

What I mean by this isn’t just about farting in each other’s faces and seeing who beats who to the punch of saying, “doorknob or safety”, followed by running into the wall trying to avoid getting hit, but welcoming one another in like family. And from my experience with family, we do have tendencies to bicker and poke fun, but when it happened to me with my friends, I took it out of context. I thought maybe they were just making fun of me because of how easy I was to make fun of. And maybe that’s at least somewhat true, but my innocence was sort of taken from me. This meant as we got older, we start getting wiser and more mature… I would put an asterisk on both of those. At least when it comes being a teenage boy, we seemed to be incredibly immature.

After only a short time dating my girlfriend, she would break things off with me. Funny thing, she thought that I was going to break up with her which wasn’t true. But it happened and we talked about trying to get back together which we never did. So, no more Snuggly Bear for me. As I tried to move on, I did put myself out there with other girls. At the time, it seemed like it was preferred that as teenagers, you would rather hangout as a group while getting to know each other better before finding yourselves into a one-on-one situation, which was what I was trying to do. The girls that I asked out said yes and agreed to meet with me only to not show up and I would get stood up, multiple times, multiple girls. Since then, I just been afraid to ask anyone else out for the remainder of my high school career. And so, we move on…

My Perspective

Depending on how long ago since you’ve been a teenager, obviously, you’ve changed and have grown from that person you once were. The parts of you that you didn’t like, you no longer did that. Unless you are living in the past and only want to stay that way, but life doesn’t really work like that. Yes, you can keep certain aspects of your younger self with you. But the biggest takeaway from this in my opinion, is any situation that we find ourselves in, despite how we react to it and how it changes us… that defines who we are. Maybe not completely, but easily when it comes to certain aspects about us.

If I was able to go back and give any advice to my younger self, I would tell myself, “Don’t be so emotional. Learn to relax a bit. People are going to talk and you can either shrug it off or just do what you are going to develop later in your 20s: self deprecation. Trust me, it works! I know you wear your emotions on your sleeve but you’re a great kid… also, quit trying to be right all the time! There’s so much greatness in you and you don’t even know it yet, but you have to figure that out on your own. You can’t be afraid to learn something new. And one last thing: education is important. I know you don’t like it and a good amount of this stuff might not be useful in the future. But a lot of it is… that and you could also use it for trivia night. Did you know there are over 1400 different types of cheese in France?! Anyway, I should get going. One last thing, don’t tell anyone about this and the whole thing about time travel stuff.”

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Recognition

It’s all we really want. Whether it’s from work, friends, or even our own family. Sometimes we might feel like we’re out of place or don’t belong. Of course, this is assuming you put in the effort and maybe would like to lead by example. There is nothing more true than hard work paying off. Even if you don’t believe it to be so.

Let’s say this: you’re at a job you’ve been at for a few years, and every day you show up to work, you work. You’re not complaining a whole lot, you put in your due diligence, and almost always show up on time. Here’s the thing: if while you’re doing all of this, and you don’t receive the recognition you feel you’ve earned, it could take a lot out of you. Possibly with no opportunities to move up within the company. That in turn could lead you to not work as hard or always try to show up on time. But maybe, it’s time to look for opportunities elsewhere.

Sometimes it’s not you. From my experience with working the so many jobs I’ve had in the past, I know that management is where most of everything starts. Without good management, you might not have good leadership. And without good leadership, you probably won’t have good hardworking employees. All you have to do is pay attention. Even apart from a job, this goes out to anyone.

I guess all I’m saying is give recognition to those who have earned. It can go a long way. We’re human, we make mistakes, but we also don’t need too much to feel good about ourselves. No matter who you are, sometimes it’s a little attention that’s needed. That way you don’t feel like just a shadow. But always remember, you have to put in the work.

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Who Had the Biggest Impact on the Person You Have Become?

It didn’t take me long to come up with a decision on this. And the more thought I put into it, the more it became clearer. I chose my brother.

What the power of an older sibling brings to the table is inspiration. If you’re together often and find yourself in so many situations, they are there to show you without really explaining it how to handle them. Good or bad, you always find something to take away from it.

Speaking of good and bad, my brother and I used to fight a lot back in the day. And when I say fight, I don’t actually mean physically. We only wrestled during commercial break while watching WWE/WCW to pass the time. But we would have many arguments about the littlest things. Always trying to prove each other wrong. I want to say to this day that’s why we both can be pretty blunt. I try to think more now before opening my mouth, but sometimes I can’t help it. Which is why, too often, I don’t say anything when I’m around a group of people.

With that being said, there’s so many great things I got from this. We always enjoyed watching movies, TV shows and many different sports, along with playing them, while a lot of what we watched were comedy. But this wasn’t just between us. It was with the rest of the family as well. To this day, both my brother and I would still find ourselves doing movie quotes as a form of conversation. We really do have quite the memory.

Sure, it’s true that anyone can shape you to the person you are today. Friends, family, colleagues, and even random strangers. Maybe it’s just me, but I try to learn from my interactions with everyone. At least the ones that make an impact enough to make me think. The way I look at life; you can never stop learning. Because you know there’s always room for improvement. Don’t be afraid to take down that stubborn wall, or you just might miss out on the wonderful things life has to offer.

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Life After Graduation

“Congratulations class of…”… and there it is. That moment you’ve been waiting for. You and your graduating class celebrating together one last time. Not knowing if you’re actually going to see each other again. When you think about it, it’s pretty wild… but unfortunately sad. The next question to ask yourself is… what now?

Reflecting

Looking back in my past was something I did often. Maybe one too many reminiscing moments. But it wasn’t always a bad thing. I got to appreciate the good times I had when just about everything was so much simpler. Smart phones weren’t around then. Plus, I had almost no responsibilities compared to what I’m dealing with now. I don’t pick my nose as often. Boy, that was something! I constantly picked my nose when I was younger. Never ate the boogers though. Anyway, I kind of grossed myself out a bit.

There were many great things about my time growing up. For instance; most household had one telephone, which was a landline. So, if you were trying to get a hold of someone, you had to actually wait and see who would pick up the phone before having a conversation. It was that or we would go over to the person’s home to see if they wanted to hangout. You could have an interaction with almost every family member of the person you’re trying to see. And thinking back at it now, that is pretty cool. Especially if you’re the type that likes to make conversation.

Speaking for myself, but who knows, maybe many of you would agree, that what I miss the most when I was going to school was… pretty much all of it. Even though my mindset seemed to be elsewhere, because I’ll be honest, I did not care for half of my classes. For the most part, I really wanted to build relationships, have friends, and never ask out most of the girls I was crushing on. Best way to put it, I was easily distracted, which explains why my schoolwork was subpar. Thinking back at it, I’m pretty sure I had A.D.D.

What Now?

However your time was spent during your school years, let’s just hope you made some fond memories. Of course, that will always come with some bad ones. Which is just a part of life. But school isn’t just for education. It’s an experience. Making friends, falling in love, and in those unfortunate times, getting bullied or doing the bullying. Let’s just hope lessons were learned and to those that did the bullying, it stopped. Otherwise, that’s on karma.

Even though I was nowhere near the best student in my class, or the most popular, I did enjoy my time when I was in school. Apart from a lot of mistakes I would change, but who wouldn’t make changes? What happened happened and we have to accept it. Learn and grow from it. But I do appreciate the school I went to for even providing me with an education. And not just an education, but for the classmates and teachers that have come in and out of my life and most importantly, the memories. It’s the memories that define us. How we use it in our everyday lives from what we learned from it.

So, whether you have chosen to continue your education further into college, or to do something else, consider that a new chapter in your journey. There’s so much world out there. Make the most of it!

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LIFE is One Misunderstanding

So, here we are again. You’re out on a Friday night, whether on a date, with friends, or family. For the most part, everything seems to be going really well. Everyone is having a good time until you make a response to something someone said. From that point on, the mood changes a bit. Now you start to overthink what you may have said at the point you felt the vibe changing. It can be subtle, so you just have to use instinct on this one. As you’re thinking to yourself while you analyze step-by-step all that happened. Is it too late? Why not say something? Or is it that you waited too long where the moment has passed?

For most people, a lot of our conversations with each other are harmless and friendly. Of course, we don’t mean to have bad intentions. Unless deep down you genuinely don’t like this particular individual. But chances are, they might feel the same way about you. You both might have a mutual friend that you don’t want to displease so in a way, you are almost just putting up with each other. That sounds incredibly unhealthy. And you both don’t want to confront one another about it either.

Anyway, the point of this is that we’re not being as honest as we should. Whether or not you are friends, family, or even with your significant other. When something is said that puts you out of your comfort zone or at ease, instead of saying something, you wind up keeping it inside. Or you wait to tell someone else about it later. For all we know, the person that said this specific thing you did not enjoy could very well be unaware of it. So, this whole time they may have no idea you resent them, or are holding a grudge against them, and they’ll never know why.

I may have mentioned this before, but I’m not big on confrontation. So, I try to avoid saying things that would hit a nerve with others. I also believe that I’m good at reading body languages so I have to use that to see for myself if what I might have said rubbed off the wrong way on people. It is so stressful sometimes trying to please people, especially if you’re out of your comfort zone. To those out there that are uncomfortable saying something in person to someone, I’m sure a simple text would do just fine. It at least gets your point across, so people know how you feel. And if they don’t care, then there’s no point to keep them around in your life.

To reiterate, whatever is being said isn’t necessarily that exact meaning. If you’re ever uncertain, just ask. It’s always good to get a better understanding of what someone said than to take things out of proportion that might not even be true. Who knows, that alone could help build a stronger relationship. I hope this helps.

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What Makes the Holidays So Stressful?

I’m actually curious about this one. For the most part, I always look forward to the holiday season. As a kid growing up, it was time off from school and during most of my high school years, I would forever be playing Socom II (basically what Call of Duty is to everyone now). An online game when we had to plug in ethernet cables to our PS2s. I could probably go all day down this road of nostalgia, but we’ll continue on.

When adulthood was new to me, I had to maintain a steady job, which took me a while considering my history of working at over 30 different places. But same thing when I was in school, as the holidays near, I was excited for time off. Only this time it was playing Call of Duty and a bunch of Mountain Dew & Doritos for that double XP.

The thing is, I enjoyed going shopping for presents to give to friends and family. I would think back throughout that entire year from what I can remember and correlate anything to buy for each individual. So far, I have yet to craft something with my hands for that special someone or just anyone that I care about so I can tell them that cliché line, “It’s the thought that counts!”

And that’s just it! Taking a little time to yourself to think about the people you would like to get gifts for come the holidays. I understand I guess how it can be stressful when you’re not sure what to get certain people, which then ends up with you getting a bunch of gift cards. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. Sometimes you aren’t able to see friends or some family members as often as you would like which brings up uncertainty. And that is perfectly fine!

So, my curiosity is that I would like to know what stresses you out about the holidays. I’ve never done this before, but feel free to drop a comment so I can have a better understanding. Maybe someone close to you passed away around these times. I don’t know, but I really would love to hear from you. Whatever your reasons, be safe, and have a happy holiday season!

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My Christmas Wish (This Year)

Dear Santa,

I know this is odd that I’m writing you through my blog and not a traditional formal letter (which I might still end up doing just to be sure!), but there is something I wanted to ask of you. Something completely different than what you are probably used to receiving like toys and other similar gifts. What I would like from you is courage.

The courage to not be selfish with my feelings because I’m too nervous to tell someone I like how I feel about them. Or the courage to get out of bed every morning and taking on the day with motivation and drive instead of sleeping in like I normally do, which then leads me to missing out on many opportunities in life. That last one might not have anything to do with courage but I’m sure you understand where I’m coming from.

This year has been extremely difficult for me to process. I know I haven’t been as nice as I would like to be, but I also know that I haven’t been too naughty as well. Whatever your definition of naughty is, let’s hope I don’t get coal for Christmas this year. What I do know is that you know I’m almost always trying to work on myself to be a better person, and I’ll always continue that until my time is up.

I do find it much easier to write which is why I have a blog in the first place, not only because it’s very therapeutical for me, but let’s me express myself freely and hope that it reaches out to others who can relate, maybe learn from, or are at least entertained by what I have to say.

I want the courage to finally work on my passions and stay disciplined and continue them instead of constantly starting and stopping. I barely am able to blog on a weekly basis because I’ve just been so down lately.

Life is difficult, at least for me. But that doesn’t mean I’m giving up. I have dreams and aspirations I would love to achieve in the near future and not leave them where they have been since forever, which is in my dreams. I want it to be a reality because I am aware of what I can offer to those I care about. To be able to shed some light into this dark hole I’m in.

Anyway, Santa, Mr. Claus, if you’re reading this, and it’s not too much of a hassle for you to help me out just enough, I would forever be grateful. Because I know there’s greatness behind a lot of my intentions in this life. And I want to provide for my family so I can finally know what it’s like to live a happy and healthy life. Thank you!

Yours truly,

David

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What I’m Thankful For

It’s that time of year again. If you’re getting together with family, friends, or just anyone you care about. The holidays are there to bring us closer together. Although, it can be a stressful time of year (from what I heard on the radio), it’s also a wonderful time to be grateful. As we get older, we start to appreciate the little things more. The memories we made growing up and don’t receive as much of in our adulthood.

Life is a passion. Even if it may not go as well as you would like it to. But you can always change it. Change your mindset to something positive and you may just notice things will begin to look up for you. I have experienced lots of negative situations in my life and it also took over my mindset of negative thinking. So, from there that little snowball trickled into a raging snowman, then became an avalanche (wow, that was a terrible metaphor).

Over time that can weigh you down and mess with your mindset. But you can’t let that change who you really are. There’s a caring and loving person within all of us. No matter what your motivator is, whether it’s music, TV, someone you care about, etc. you are driven to always do better. Just gotta figure out what works for you.

Which is why I’m thankful for the world we live in and the life I have. There’s greatness from everywhere within our beautiful planet. The motivation we can receive from just about everything and everyone. Even though we’re not perfect and it may seem like we’re destroying this world, it only takes one of us to change that. Do your part to inspire others and help mother nature so she can take care of us.

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Multiple Personalities: Everyone has it

Throughout not just my working career, but also my life career, I have taken notice of a lot of variations of human behavior. And what that boils down to is the personality of the person. Like what their character shows when they’re out in the public, versus being at home (or anytime they’re alone). Most people that I have met seems to show multiple sides to them. As if they were to have a split personality, are bi-polar, or even have mood swings. From my point-of-view, they are all somewhat one in the same thing (don’t quote me on this). With that, and I hate to say this for myself, is why you can’t please everyone.

From friends, family, colleagues, and even random strangers, you don’t know what to expect. Which is why before you start judging someone when you first greet them (i.e., a customer), and they have a neutral or negative response, don’t think anything of it. They could be having an off day. Take me for example; most days I will always do my best to make people laugh or try to make their day brighter with some positive reinforcement. And then on rare occasions when life just doesn’t seem to be going my way, I will be sad and depressed. I don’t hide my feelings all that much, meaning I’m quite the expressive person. But maybe that’s not such a bad thing. It will let people know when something is wrong and it kind of sets their mood a little bit when they don’t see me happy.

The problem with me is that when I see someone like a colleague that is expressing this other personality (good or bad, but mostly bad), I tend to analyze the situation and see what I can do to resolve the issue. Or do what I can to prevent it from happening again. But forgetting that some things are out of my control, and I cannot help those that are going through whatever situation it is they are going through. All I can do is stay out of the way or help out by offering an ear to listen and possibly give advice, but only if they ask or are willing to take it. I’d like to consider myself as an unofficial non-licensed therapist (which is why I should really consider trying freelance on fiverr or something… tell your friends!)

So, what are you supposed to do when it comes to dealing with others that are having off days? Answer is, not much different than what you normally do. Like I said before, if it’s a customer, treat them with kindness and respect. Because for all you know, that could be enough to turn their day around. Don’t try to force yourself into anyone’s problems if they don’t ask for it. The best thing you can do is just offer. Offer your time, listen and pay attention to what they tell you if they need to vent. But for the most part, there really isn’t anything else you can do. The rest is up to them.

We all need saving. It’s just the matter of asking for help.

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My Perspective On ACNE

As I’m sure anyone who has researched anything with acne, they tell you that it’s more common when you’re a teenager. But even as adults, you can still get them. Ever wonder why that is? Whatever anyone or anything you have heard or read from would tell you, the truth may be a little… different.

CAUSES

As one website has mentioned, greasy foods and hygiene are just a myth when it comes to break-outs. Yes and no. It really depends on the person. The thing is, you know your body better than anyone else. Have you ever tried eating certain types of food and coming to the realization that you break-out more than normal, or not at all? I have this theory that one of the main sources for why people get acne is from what they eat. I’m sure not all greasy foods will affect you, but some surely do. What it really breaks down to is the sodium. I’ve had more than my fair share of what is considered unhealthy food, and after several days to a week, I will start showing pimples. It took me a while to put the pieces together but eventually it really did come down to what I put in my body. And that is just the beginning. When it comes to your hygiene, it’s the lifestyle that you live that can cause more pimples to show up or not. And if that isn’t convincing enough, there’s always you constantly touching your face with your greasy and dirty hands (I’m guilty of this myself).

How To Fix It

If food is your enemy, of course I mean when it comes to this subject of acne, then seriously, start eating more of what mother nature has to offer. I mean fruits and vegetables that grow from this beautiful planet. Unfortunately, I’m still having issues with this myself. I do try to eat them when I can. Like I’ve mentioned before about you knowing your body better than anyone, figure out what works and what doesn’t. Experiment a little. Especially if you get pimples often. If you don’t then there might be something else clouding your judgement (don’t worry, we’ll get into that topic in another post ( 😉 wink)). So, with food already been discussed, it’s time to get to your hygiene. In the last paragraph I’ve only briefly mentioned how this causing more pimples. Depending on what you ate growing up, for years it’s going to affect you in some way. It’s the reason why some people naturally have more oily skin than others. And with showering daily or not does affect certain tendencies as well. Then again, who knows? Only you can figure that out for yourself. As long as you’re somewhat healthy, why not experiment with some things like I have. You might learn something.

The Unknown Breakout

Stress. That’s about it. During part of my high school, I have gone through some shit that I hope that others don’t have to deal with or worse. But one of my closest friends just out of nowhere (yes, like Randy Orton with his RKO), decided to roast me for days. Where it came from or why, I have no idea. The only explanation I gave myself was that if anyone made fun of you, it’s because they secretly had a crush on you. But I’ve been told otherwise. So, it is what it is. Anyway, a moments later, I mentally could not take it anymore. The insults, constantly being put-down and made fun of because my vocabulary was not the greatest at the time… it hurt. And because of only what I knew growing up from family and friends that influenced me, I did the only rational thing that I could. Which ended up with me yelling in disagreement with anyone. And unlike what we see in movies and TV shows, where the characters who go through alternating life events, talk their problems out with one another, I never had that happen to me. All I got was just being made fun of and holding that feeling inside. No one to talk to about it, because at least during this time, unless you have a therapist to talk to you can’t express your feelings to anyone because everyone will tell you to stop being a little bitch… and OMG did this spread like a virus. Generations after mine would go through similar situations and no one, I MEAN NO ONE! Would just have the decency to pull each other to the side and talk their problems out with each other. It’s sad. Because the truth is, we are all in a way like the iceberg in Titanic. Or in Hitch. Where 90% of what we’re saying, isn’t coming out of our mouths. And for those of you who still don’t know, it means we keep way too many things to ourselves and don’t talk about our problems and issues with… anyone! Unfortunately, this is part of being human. We are not perfect, and we will never be. But the least we can do is learn. Learn from our mistakes and learn from one another. Because that’s how we grow as a species. All I ask is that we stop for a moment and take the time to be aware of our surroundings.

The Breakdown

I’m sure professionals and anyone else that say they’re pros will tell you the difference between simple and complex carbs. That complex carbs are good for you. Which is true. But! In my perspective, let’s reverse the roles a bit. Natural carbs, as in what we get from fruits and vegetables, are the best carbs we could ask for. To me, I like to look at that as simple carbs. The complexity is when you start mixing ingredients together to form something completely exotic. Ramen noodles, SPAghetti, pizza and so on. Those carbs aren’t necessarily the best for you. Don’t get me wrong, they taste great! But that’s why we should be eating them only so often. Make a treat out of them. Do something that’s out of your comfort zone and that you know benefits you health-wise. Anyone who has pets, like dogs and cats should know better. You don’t feed your animal(s) treats all the time. You reward them when you feel they’ve done something that amazes you and whatnot. And that’s exactly how you should treat yourself. When it comes to being human, we have the will power to easily eat anything and everything we like. Just because it makes us feel good, but in the end, our stomachs aren’t saying the same thing and our bowel movements as well (unless you’re into that sensation). Look, the thing is we need to have better self-control. Otherwise, we’re just proving Wall-E right. That in the future we’re just going to become fat/obese and become mesmerized by modern technology and forget the beauty of what’s really in front of us. But it’s your life, do what makes you happy… and I mean really happy, like deep down and not what you show yourself to be in front of others. Just remember what you’re doing and how it affects others. Not just yourself.

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