Tag: misunderstanding

The Biggest Lesson I Learned from My First Job

Because I was only 16 when I first started working, mistakes were common but learning lessons was rare. Now, to be clear, I’m not just referring to my jobs. It’s my life altogether. As we stick to the working portion, one thing I know for sure when it comes to retail is you have to have good customer service skills. Other traits and your personality are more of a bonus to have when it comes to making conversation and having a connection.

Going back to my first job, McDonald’s. I’m not exactly sure how I was able to ace my interview but I did. My boss who interviewed me was amazed with my answers, but when it came to the job itself, there was so much to take in being in a fast-paced environment. For the most part, all I had to do was run the register, taking customer orders and greet them with a smile, which I did. However, there was a lack of motivation in my speech and how I was speaking to customers. How I know that: it was what my boss told me when she was letting me go. And unlike what we see in movies and television (at least from my experience), I was never told the words, “you’re fired.” It was almost always, “… we have to let you go” or “do better next time, stupid!” … okay, that last one was made up. But maybe a little transparency isn’t such a bad thing.

I personally prefer honesty, because that gives me insight on what I need to work on. Hence, the transparency. Having constructive criticism on our work is a good thing, but we cannot forget the how of it all. Like how to deliver the message to those so they can understand it and make the necessary adjustments needed to perform better at their jobs. Like I said before, it’s not just with our jobs, career, but with life.

Depending on your relationship and how you are with others, it’s easy to do or say something that could be taken out of context by someone else, just by saying the wrong thing… even if it’s not. That’s why I believe a huge part of conflict comes from misunderstandings. And how we react to it is mainly just our personality and lifestyle. These are the effects of life choices.

The choices we make determine how people perceive us, even if it’s one thing that doesn’t really define us. Unfortunately though, people are also quick to judge. But that’s also what makes us human. Whether it’s being bold in the moment or just trying something new, which I do quite often. And the end result: there are both rewards and consequences. For me, a good chunk of the reward is entertaining people like making them laugh. Then there’s the consequences…

As it may seem like I have this huge list of consequences, I’m pretty sure the positive outcome/rewards are about even, if not more. Like my constant battle with choosing to stay up late and almost every time waking up tired and unmotivated. Again, it’s all choice. The choice we make that has its’ consequences, has its’ rewards, all lead to the potential of having misunderstandings to conflict, and that gives us our personality.

My biggest takeaway from learning that I lacked motivation from my first job made me understood, knowing what I know now, who I was at that moment in my life. Quiet, in my shell and has yet to find my voice in the world. In public, I’m as shy as it gets, which makes it easier for people to take advantage of me, and have. Despite that, when I’m in my comfortable surrounding, I am quite expressive. Being around a smaller group of people or with one other person, I can just have a conversation with nothing held back. And that’s trust. Probably the reason why my inner circle was so small considering my life experiences. I put a lot of trust in people and there were times it backfired, but other times, it was incredibly rewarding.

So, no matter how long it takes you, if you haven’t already, take a moment to yourself to reflect on your life. Whether it hurt you or pleased you, just know, it’s a part of your life and your own. The outcome is what you make of it!

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Honesty Goes a Long Ways

So, I met this woman who was sitting across the bar from me one night. She couldn’t take her eyes off of me. I know that look when I see it and wanted to find out more. As curiosity crossed my mind, I went over to introduce myself. And after getting to know each other, with a few drinks later, we went back to her place. Just because my place is a mess and I’m not proud of myself. It’s okay though, it’s probably just my depression. Anyway, back to my story. We’re back at her place and continued our conversation with a night cap. I got a little too comfortable where a fart slipped out. As embarrassed as I was, she didn’t seem to mind. Just giggled. Shortly after the smell went away, we hooked up.

Here’s the thing: the story I told, was a lie. And now you’re probably disappointed with me. But that’s okay (maybe), because I’ve had to deal with that one too many times. If you have friends that do this to you often, it makes it difficult to care what they tell you considering you don’t know if you want to believe what they have to say or what stories they tell. So, why bother?

The story that I told, still holds a lot of truth behind it. Apart from going back to the woman’s place that I mentioned, and thus leading to me manifesting the fart part, this was a really short story. Besides giving you a detailed description of my messy apartment, I was just drinking at a bar. So, what actually happened was…

“I was having a drink at the bar and noticed this woman across from me. She gave me this look. I like to call it the look of desire. So, I went over to introduce myself and as we got to know a little bit about each other, my night ended with me going home alone.”

The moral of the story is that I don’t have a clue how to close. I guess it’s just something that I never got over. Always afraid of rejection and lacking the courage to do so. However, I do enjoy conversating with people, especially if it’s a small group or a one-on-one situation. It just feels more personal.

I like to consider myself a people pleaser. I know it may not sound like a good thing, but it’s not all bad though. Just want to shine a little light onto people no matter what kind of day they are having. This whole thing is really about understanding where people are coming from. We all have a way about us that makes us do or say things that can be good or bad. But telling the truth is better than building up one lie after another. And if you want to keep certain things to yourself, by all means. Everyone should be entitled to their privacy. What you want to share is up to you.

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LIFE is One Misunderstanding

So, here we are again. You’re out on a Friday night, whether on a date, with friends, or family. For the most part, everything seems to be going really well. Everyone is having a good time until you make a response to something someone said. From that point on, the mood changes a bit. Now you start to overthink what you may have said at the point you felt the vibe changing. It can be subtle, so you just have to use instinct on this one. As you’re thinking to yourself while you analyze step-by-step all that happened. Is it too late? Why not say something? Or is it that you waited too long where the moment has passed?

For most people, a lot of our conversations with each other are harmless and friendly. Of course, we don’t mean to have bad intentions. Unless deep down you genuinely don’t like this particular individual. But chances are, they might feel the same way about you. You both might have a mutual friend that you don’t want to displease so in a way, you are almost just putting up with each other. That sounds incredibly unhealthy. And you both don’t want to confront one another about it either.

Anyway, the point of this is that we’re not being as honest as we should. Whether or not you are friends, family, or even with your significant other. When something is said that puts you out of your comfort zone or at ease, instead of saying something, you wind up keeping it inside. Or you wait to tell someone else about it later. For all we know, the person that said this specific thing you did not enjoy could very well be unaware of it. So, this whole time they may have no idea you resent them, or are holding a grudge against them, and they’ll never know why.

I may have mentioned this before, but I’m not big on confrontation. So, I try to avoid saying things that would hit a nerve with others. I also believe that I’m good at reading body languages so I have to use that to see for myself if what I might have said rubbed off the wrong way on people. It is so stressful sometimes trying to please people, especially if you’re out of your comfort zone. To those out there that are uncomfortable saying something in person to someone, I’m sure a simple text would do just fine. It at least gets your point across, so people know how you feel. And if they don’t care, then there’s no point to keep them around in your life.

To reiterate, whatever is being said isn’t necessarily that exact meaning. If you’re ever uncertain, just ask. It’s always good to get a better understanding of what someone said than to take things out of proportion that might not even be true. Who knows, that alone could help build a stronger relationship. I hope this helps.

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