Author: davidsnow

When Your “CRUSH” Doesn’t Feel the Same Way

For however long you’ve known each other, almost every moment you’re together, you just want to ask them out. But before that even happens, you role play a little bit by yourself. Trying to put together all these different scenarios in your head, or out loud while you’re in the car, at home, or wherever you find the time to. Yet despite everything you’ve played out, when that moment actually happens, nothing goes according to plan. Not a single thing you mentioned was used or expressed leaving you in a vulnerable position. Even if you never got around to asking them out, there’s no subtleness anymore, so you’ve made it clear to them that you like them. And in return, you get the same end results, again… and again. Getting crushed by your crush…

Although it isn’t a heartbreak, it definitely feels that way. Your body will feel cold, and not because of the weather. But rather your entire universe has been shattered. Almost like your soul has momentarily left your body so you feel nothing but a vast emptiness inside. The only reason you had these feelings in the first place is because you read the signs of interest. At least you thought that’s what they were. The pieces just kept piling on that you couldn’t help but believe that’s what was going on. The chemistry’s there and you built this connection with each other you were almost certain they were interested. Your confidence is at its’ all time high until you finally make your move only to be devastated by the news that you are more than familiar with.

Sadness kicks in, a feeling of lost. All those feelings you remember having back when you were depressed just right back to where they once were. You even made yourself a music playlist for when this moment would come back (that’s right! I made myself a playlist for when life just sucks and I’m feeling down). Every time you do get better; you tell yourself you don’t want to go back to that feeling. That feeling you’re way too comfortable with. Being alone and an outcast from just about everyone in your life. It happens far too often and sometimes you just let yourself know you won’t fall for anyone again. Maybe love isn’t for everyone. At least not in an intimate way. I’ve never been good at asking anyone out and I believe now there’s a reason for that.

So, how do you move on? If you’ve been there before you’ll know how. It takes time. Do the things you have to do, but this time you’re more responsible. If you have to drink, then drink. If getting high is your thing, by all means. Me? I listen to sad music, watch sad movies, pour myself a drink or two, or three. Sometimes you have to feel miserable before getting better. But you will get better. You always have. It hurts, but you will get through it…

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(My) Office Romance I

There’s no denying the sexual tension between you and at least one of your colleagues, at least during one point in your working career. I’m sure to any The Office fans out there, or at least have watched enough, you know about Jim and Pam’s relationship. All that tension they had and build up before getting together. A lot of people have fantasized that being them, unless of course you’re married or in any other status. But there’s nothing wrong with looking. We’re human. It’s in our nature to wonder. And then there’s curiosity. If you let that take control of you, then you’ve cheated on your partner. As always, I’m getting beside the point. However, if you are single then curiosity is welcomed. It’s just the matter of having the courage to asking out this individual that makes you feel vulnerable inside. And that’s where I come in…

Work History

Since graduating high school, I spent the next several years working from one job to another, and another. So much so, the number of jobs I’ve had is somewhere over 30. I stopped keeping track when I got to around 25 or so. With some of these jobs however, I did happen to find attraction towards my coworker. Whether or not we worked together or just being in the same building. Like to the point I would turn my head so far over I’ll end up running into something. Time moved a bit slower for me, music playing inside my head, and then I would end up missing out on yet many other opportunities. Mostly because since time slowed down for me while the music is in the background, to everyone else time was moving normally. So, they would just pass on by without even knowing I existed. At least that’s what I figured at the time. I know, I’m aware of how sad that is. But on the other side, these stories do have an ending.

First Job Crush

Let’s take a look at my first official job I started out at. I was 16 and started working at McDonalds. How I got this job, I have no idea, at least at the time. Crushing the interview only to see me in my true nature in the public. Being this quiet, shy, cute (I could go on…) young teenager working in a fast-paced environment. I worked as a cashier, but it was short lived considering 3 weeks was how long I was a McDonald’s employee before getting let go. My boss at the time said I didn’t appear to be motivated enough in the establishment. Which I don’t blame her for that. I knew I wasn’t. Especially being quiet and shy. Times were different for me back then. But during my 3 weeks there, I just so happened to have stumbled upon what I believe, was an angel. She was this stunning blonde with an aura that lit up my eyes working the drive-thru window. The music that was playing in my head at the time was probably Boyz II Men’s I’ll Make Love to You. I was hardcore into R&B at the time so it’s safe to say I knew all about that baby making music, even though I was still a virgin. But all of that was a never was. Like I mentioned before, I only worked there for 3 weeks so I had no clue if she was single or dating someone. She did ask me something during a time we were slow at work, but I forgot what it was. Thinking about it now, she was probably just trying to make conversation and wanted to get to know me a little better. Unfortunately, never got a chance to find out too much more. It was what felt like another lifetime ago.

When it comes to having your first job, depending on who is raising you, ask them first. Figure out if you’re ready to get out there in the world. Out in the eyes of the public. Although, there are many negatives and cruelty with the public, there are also positives and even enlightenment. You could learn so much from a job, and not just what you learn at home and at school. Just like how I learned about Angels existing right in front of me. Unless my eyes are cheated by some spell. But only 10 or so feet away working the drive-thru.

Stay tuned for part II…

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What’s The Deal with Roadkill?

It’s quite sad to see a dead animal on the road (let alone, many). For the majority, we believe the cause of their death is accidental. More than likely, they were minding their own business and stumbled upon a road or just trying to cross it. But what if some of these animals weren’t hit or ran over by a car accidentally. What if it was on purpose?

In our everyday lives we communicate often with people. And I’m sure no matter what the situation, without realizing it, you catch maybe one or multiple red flags in someone. If that’s so, you may find yourself wanting to stay clear from them. There is history behind their demeanor though. The way they act around others or vibes they give off that can be off-putting. For this example, whether anyone is observing them or not, they will purposely run-down animals on the road if they see them. Which is heartbreaking to me because I love animals. Now, that doesn’t mean that if you do hit an animal that you were doing it on purpose. Accidents do happen. I recently hit what I believe to be a raccoon. It was dark out and I was delivering food to a customer in the backroads and there were no streetlights. Makes me wonder if animals are more attracted to high beams. To them, it’s like going towards the light…

I guess all I’m saying is people can be cruel. And if given the opportunity, they may just take it out on animals.

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Rewarding Yourself

So you want to be productive, but you don’t know how… I can help! The answer is quite simple, but it’s not going to be easy to achieve. With some thought and planning though, you will be one step closer to being happier and of course, healthier.

Let’s first take a look at what you’re eating. Chances are the food you put in your body determines your daily output in life. That’s why it’s so important to eat your fruits and vegetables. Because they are Earth’s natural creation, they provide many nutrients for our longevity in life. Then there are poisonous berries and greens. I’m sure they have consumed many lives in our past, but we learn from it, even if it’s the hard way. With that, there are still those guilty pleasure foods we just need to have. And I’m all for it. Like pizza, or a big hot bowl of pho. They may not be the healthiest for you, but they definitely are good for the soul.

Now, we’re going to check out the bed you sleep on. This is just as important as what you eat. Know what works best for you. As in the quality of your sleep is much better than the quantity. I’m sure you already know that, but in case you don’t… figure it out! Does a firmer mattress work better for you or a softer one? It’s all about getting yourself into a deep sleep, that REM sleep. Then, once you’re in it you’ll dream of a life filled with everything imaginable to you and wake up feeling so refreshed ready to take on the day. Go out there to capture the dream.

So, just by looking at how you eat and sleep, these are more than enough to get you going towards your better life. Take a moment to yourself, figure out if anything in your life is in need of change so you can thrive for a happier tomorrow. Have you been eating pretty healthy? If so, reward yourself with your guilty pleasure food. Do you wake up feeling refreshed? If not, find out the problem and determine a plan to change that. If you have a baby that’s preventing you from a good quality sleep, that’s something for you to figure out. Sorry, I don’t have kids of my own so I can’t help ya there. Try just these 2 things and see what that does for you. And there’s plenty more where that came from!

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The Problem with SOCIETY… from My Point-of-View

When we have issues with each other, what do we typically do? We talk about it. It’s that simple… but it’s not. Our emotions, how we feel inside, we’re too afraid to tell anybody. Unless for the most part it’s your shrink. And of course, when we’re in our vehicles. Everyone is probably at their most expressive being in their car. Yelling at other drivers for something that half the time is really their fault and not the other person. But face to face interactions, that’s a whole different story.

The majority of the world are strangers to you. So, the question is, do you really want to perceive yourself as more of a hostile person? Why not be caring or shine some light to those who need it, stranger or not. Take your neighbors as a great example. I’m sure most of us don’t even talk to all or a lot of them. If they do something that irritates or bothers you enough, is it so difficult to just go over, knock on their door, and hopefully politely let them know? Because chances are they are unaware of what’s going on around them.

Why My Neighbors Might Think I’m Crazy

I live alone in an apartment. That means I share a hallway and walls with my neighbors. I always wonder too many times if I’m being too loud. I’d hate to be that neighbor everyone has to deal with. Is my TV on too loud? Do the walls constrict sound pretty well? Or can everyone hear it when I talk to myself all the time? I know I sound crazy, but I talk to myself to practice my speech. I interact with people almost every day, mostly customers and other employees. It’s a method that I use so I’m not constantly inside my own head and stressing about anything and everything.

Another big issue I feel my neighbors might have with me is that about once a week I would go out for a smoke. Weed that is (I know I said I stopped but this time feels different). I would end up spraying some cologne on myself and take a quick drive to air it out before coming back home. The problem is that the scent from the weed more than likely is still on me, and I would leave a trail of the smell walking in thru the hall. If that’s so, my neighbors know it’s from me, leading them being angry. Like a lot. I think one of my neighbors might be trying to drill through the concrete wall in hopes that it’ll collapse on me. Also, that is me being paranoid. Which is why I really have to stop smoking, so I don’t have these thoughts in my head anymore. I have heard some of my neighbors saying something (but couldn’t quite make out specifics) and it hurts me because no one had the nerves to just come knock on my door to tell me to my face.

Overall

It’s easy for people to get along. But just as easy for them to languish. Why something so simple as just telling someone what’s bothering them is like the biggest risk anyone has to take. I love watching movies and television shows. And what I learn from them is that whenever there’s a conflict or tension, the characters find the time to talk it out with each other. In my world, it’s almost the complete opposite. We think just because something is only a movie or TV show that there’s no takeaway from it. But that’s not true at all. Take a lesson in your life from this, know that they are trying to tell us something. We can hear just fine. But we don’t listen. All I’m trying to say is talk to each other. But have manors and be polite. There’s no need to take something this small and turn it into everything it’s not. Like The Beatles said… “Come Together.” Because we need it now more than ever.

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The THEORY Behind Men Being from Mars & Women from Venus

What if, a long time ago the race of men and women existed outside of Earth? According to the habitable zone, Venus, Earth, and Mars all fall under that category within our Solar System. Well, at least at one point in time, I’m sure. Considering that we are just a tiny particle within this vast Universe, time for us moves a lot slower. Like, really slow. We’ve only been around for about 6 million years (according to my bing search (don’t judge)), and the Universe has now existed for over 13 billion years. If you’re familiar with the book Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus, by the author John Gray, he writes about how communication and how we are emotionally between men and women are as if we were from different planets. So, let’s take things in a more literal way. What if men were from Mars, and women were from Venus…? Let’s find out!

Have you never wondered why women are typically colder than men? Maybe it goes back to Venus, since it’s much closer to the Sun. Sometime millions or billions of years ago Venus was habitable (just like Mars). Women ruled that world and men didn’t even exist to them. And because the average temperature was much higher than here on Earth, women didn’t have to deal with cold weather. But now because of evolution of time, Venus can no longer obtain life that we know of. But what caused the second planet in our solar system to no longer be habitable, is beyond me.

Then there were men. Who once lived on Mars way back when. Back when Mars’ gravitational pull was much stronger and had a thicker atmosphere. And being that Mars was much further away from the Sun than Venus, men could survive in colder weather. I cannot say the same for women (because I don’t know), but maybe male ego was the reason why Mars lost its’ gravitational pull and atmosphere. Why we can hardly agree on anything, thus leading to a potential nuclear war (at least Mars’ version of a nuke). And just like that, there goes the neighborhood.

However, we can say that there are incredibly intelligent people among men and women that the one’s that made it out of Venus and Mars, found Earth. As in they Christopher Columbus’d space, which led us to where we are today. Men and women together, still figuring each other out. Which is unfortunate, because I thought by now we wouldn’t be discriminating each other based on gender, and not just for that matter. But the color of our skin and how we look. It is sad that we judge one another based on just what we are. It doesn’t define who we are. Every person within this world is unique in their own ways. Just have to listen and learn from each other. Greatness starts with you.

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Why We’re All Sensitive People

It’s time to let your guard down a bit. Don’t always feel like you have to put on this tough person façade. Every now and then, let people in. I’m certain you’ll be a much better person for it. Otherwise, you’re just showing us the Ogre that’s within you. Sorry Shrek. Didn’t mean to call you out. But still! Even Shrek has feelings despite all the layers of onions he hides behind. You’ve seen the movie, I hope. If not, go watch it. Just remember that even though it’s just a movie, it doesn’t mean the point they’re trying to make isn’t true. And that just hits way too close to home with probably most of us.

On the inside we’re all sensitive (just like me), so embrace it. Share your feelings with the ones you trust the most. And to quote Shrek, “better out than in.” Although, he is referring to something else. But it’s the concept of your feelings we’re talking about. By expressing yourself out loud, you’re letting others in. Then, there comes a time in your life when your relationship with others may end. No matter who’s fault it may be, it just happens. You just don’t see eye to eye and have a falling out. And that can be a part of life. You learn and you grow from it. But you’ll be a better person in the end (at least I’d like to think so).

What every experience has taught me in life is that I take the time to learn from it. Good or bad, it becomes a memory that I can take with me and share it with others. If you embrace your feelings, who knows, maybe you’ll find yourself just a little bit happier. And that’s the right step towards a brighter future.

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How My Day Went… Waking up at 3:30am

When you work at a coffee shop (especially if you open), you’re going to have to wake up pretty early. Depending on what time the store opens, you have responsibilities that may involve some prepping and other opening duties. I don’t typically open. The only reason I did this time was to cover for a colleague of mine. And one of my weaknesses is when being asked in person to do something, like stay later, or in this scenario, cover for someone that meant opening, I have a difficult time saying no. Unless obviously I can’t. So, even despite knowing that I have to go into work early, the night before I already knew I wasn’t going to bed earlier than normal. In which, there was going to be lack of sleep.

The Morning Of…

Alarm goes off, and surprisingly I’m not terribly exhausted. I have my morning routine that I do, then I’m out the door and headed to work. I made sure to let my colleagues know that this was my first time opening since my training (which was probably a good 6 months prior), that way they are prepared in case I make many mistakes. For the most part everything went alright. But I did notice some differences; I don’t normally work the middle of the week, so when it came to talking to customers, I was a bit thrown off. It’s not like I can ask them how their weekend was or what they have plan for the weekend. It’s too… in the middle of the week for that! So, for the rest of my shift I was very one dialogue type of person. Like an NPC in a video game. Fortunately though, I got out of work much earlier and that gave me a lot more time to do a little Doordashing.

It was one of my best dashes I had during lunch time. For the most part it went smoothly. And afterwards, I had the rest of the afternoon and night to myself. Mostly just to relax. I was proud of myself yet knew I didn’t want to do that again. Just because I interact with customers quite often and it really did get to me a bit. Stumbling my words here and there, and not knowing what else to say when most customers are just getting coffee and heading into work. To summarize, it was really repetitive. However, felt like a lesson in life when communicating with people. This made me want to open up more topics to discuss with customers while they’re waiting for their order. But I will say, I slept great that night.

So long, from a non-morning person!

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Volcanoes & Mountains: The Simple Version

They are similar to us. And by us, I mean humans. So, best way to put it, what volcanoes are to Earth is what pimples are to us. Pretty much, if not taken care of correctly, it can become disastrous. Good news is volcanoes have gone extinct, just like pimples some of us used to have a lot of to hardly ever. Which is a huge win. All we have to do is take good care of this planet like we do ourselves. At least I would hope we take care of ourselves.

Then you have mountains. Which is like a bad scar, typically one where you would need stitches. It’s now rigid and bumpy, just like a mountain. They are also really cool to look at (not scars, unless it’s a badass one with a nice story to tell). The elevation, how it looks, and does make for a great screen saver. I also enjoyed how Bob Ross creates his mountains in his paintings. Such a thing of beauty. The way he whacks the brush off to dry them. #RIPBobRoss

And that is my simple version of volcanoes and mountains. Hope you enjoyed! Until next time.

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How Streetlights Define Us

You don’t know your city until you know its’ streetlights. Like knowing when to speed up or take it slow instead of wondering if you’re going to beat the light or not. Sometimes you have no chance, so you cruise to the light. And other times, “… oh I’ll make this light.” Depending on where you live, you may hardly have to deal with streetlights, and that’s a win in my book. But other times almost every block has a stoplight, and that right there dictates our travel. Most of these lights are timed versus sensors which has a nice flow or just causes you to be backed up and possibly, yet again, running late for work.

As high as fuel prices have been (so far), some people will contemplate if going out is even worth it anymore. But other times, you don’t really have too much of a choice. Like going to work, getting groceries, or other have-to’s in your life. How well you know the city you live in just by driving on the streets can be a bittersweet feeling. Which many times I find it entertaining (and also frustrating) to see other people on the road driving very aggressively whether they know it or not, that there’s another stoplight not too far from where we just took off. Not really sure what they’re trying to prove at this point. Especially those that weave in and out of lanes, and one of my biggest pet peeves, those that don’t use their turn signals.

I’m sure this might come off a bit like a public service announcement, but maybe to some of us, we just forget that about the roads we drive on. Take it easy and take it slow a little. But not too slow, I am one to say that I drive roughly the speed limit to 5 over typically. I know it does bother me a bit being stuck behind other drivers going well below the speed limit. Even slow drivers could cause an accident. They make many of us drive more aggressively… and now we’re back to square one! I guess with all that’s been said, there might be no winning. Probably not the uplifting words of encouragement you’re looking for to end this post, sorry.

Until the next green light…

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