Author: davidsnow

How Saying Yes Changed My Spiritual Journey

Not so long ago, right after Thanksgiving day, I was approached at home by a couple of sisters from the missionary. My nephew was the one that originally answered the door but started saying some silly things which led me to intervene. I was curious, so I introduced myself. They were incredibly nice and asked me where I stand on religion.

Despite my family being Buddhist and when I was much younger, I do remember a friend of my parents offered to take us to church but I was too young to really understand and retain any memory of it. As I got older, I never really saw myself leaning towards any religion. I just did my own thing really and believed in whatever I suppose I wanted to believe in… and of course, that means Santa Claus! Even if he doesn’t believe in me.

So, when I told the sisters I didn’t have any belief, they asked if I was at least spiritual, which I most definitely am. They were more than happy to hear that. Considering Christianity is incredibly broad with many different denominations, they were Mormon, and asked if I was okay with them reading a scripture from the bible. How could I say no? This ended up leading to where they asked for my number and then offered me the book of Mormon, and that eventually led to me being invited to a Christmas party and going to church the Sunday before Christmas. With all this, I also ended up learning quite a bit about the religion.

But why did I agree to any of this in the first place?

As we started approaching the new year, about a week or two prior to the sister missionaries knocking on the door, I was rewatching the movie Yes Man from anywhere to about the tenth to fifteenth time. Overall, in my opinion, it was a great movie with how simple, easygoing, and of course, because it’s Jim Carrey, its’ comedy and his perspective on showcasing two different types of people in one.

But one thing stood out the most to me about this film: its’ relatability. This most recent time that I watched it, something triggered in me that got me reflecting on my past. The countless times I would have friends and family invite me to whatever it would be that they were doing, I would come up with an excuse not to go, causing me to miss out on so many opportunities in my life. And who knows where that would have taken me to this day.

The reason I feel that I am this way often could be because I like sticking to what I’m comfortable with. Getting out of my comfort zone does raise my anxiety and then I start to feel awkward in my surroundings. I am a bit of a homebody.

So, I took a chance and said yes.

On a weekly basis, I met up with the sisters to learn more about the book of Mormon. Now, other than my reasoning to saying yes, in these last few years alone, I became obsessed with learning. Because there’s so much out there in this world alone, it would be a waste to stay couped up in only so many places. That’s why I had to break out of that.

Being older and wiser (sort of), I wanted to understand more about this religion. So, I took it upon myself to be educated by the sisters. I was very much intrigued, although, when I was asked if I knew anything at all about the book of Mormon, my mind went straight to South Park. I didn’t tell them that. Just let them know that I have heard of it. And from there, the education began and the rest was history, as they say.

Something that I missed way back when, when I was still going to classes in grade school, was that feeling of wanting to learn. My much much underdeveloped mind at the time just wanted to make friends and hangout with them as often as I could. And even that was difficult for me. Especially when you’re typically the quiet kid in school. I couldn’t tell ya how I was able to make the friends I did, but hey, it happened and we all got to hangout as much as we could. It did lead me to constantly waiting to do my homework at the last moment before being due. But I’ll always be grateful for the friends that I made and the memories we shared.

The thing is, you don’t have to say yes to everything. As per the movie. But it’s there to just give you that kick start that you may need to the possibility of something wonderful. And if you don’t want to, you could always just say no instead of making an excuse not to. For me, I’m just getting started and already I got to have this story to tell if I didn’t. Do what feels right in your heart… or gut… or wherever. Whichever you prefer. You got this!

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Navigating Change: My 2024 Journey

How do I describe 2024? Why have I been lacking to blog? What changes will I make for this coming year? My answer… “what’s with all the questions!?” Here’s the thing, change happens constantly in my life. To start the year off, I once again had to make the decision to move out and stay with my sister and her family. That was to save some money before I can get back on my feet. After many calculations, it’s not cheap to live on your own without a second set of income to help take the edge off. Especially if you’re going at it alone. I was given an opportunity with one of my job, which I took, only several months later to have that taken away from me ( I swear I was crushing it with the job and a lot of people were thankful for me. Unfortunately, I doubt I’ll ever figure out why they did this to me).

This only shortly after I made a decision to upgrade my vehicle to something newer and hopefully more reliable than my last. Of course, when you find out about things that take you out of your routine… you stumble. If you have a good thing going, you have a routine, you have a set schedule, you can work with that, happily I might add. What made this worst for me was finding out from a peer and not my superior, not until after we got together weeks later to talk at least. When this happened, I do what I know, which was to stress just a bit, come up with a new gameplan, and as always, figure out my budget moving forward. Communication has always been an issue since I’ve been with this employer. Sadly though, communication is a big issue with a lot of other places too.

The thing is, I am incredibly thankful my sister allowed me into her home. Even with her kids, who are young adults now, can still be crowded now that I’m there. I have lost many quality sleep since I’ve been with them. All the more reason why I miss being on my own. Which honestly would be a great motivator towards pushing myself to do more with my life so I can achieve that feeling again. It’s not all bad though. I do get to save money and I picked up a new skill in pickleball, which my niece and nephew play quite often. I even made a trophy for them for a end-of-summer event tournament they hosted with their friends. The feeling I got when crafting things again brought back some really fond memories. I think that’s the thing we lose in life as we get older though. We forget that we can make things with our hands no matter the outcome instead of just purchasing things constantly. We consume way too much in life.

Which leads me to what my plans are for this new year. I’m slow. Something I’ve known for a while but never really understood why. And I’ve accepted that. This year I’m going to take my time with life. I know I have a tendency to give myself a hard time if I don’t get to do things I would like but now that’s perfectly fine. As long as I know I’m taking a step towards the future I want, I’ll be alright. Things with my other job have been going really well and it seems like all you have to do is stay poised, stay positive. But not just staying that way, it’s about being it. Life can be difficult but maybe that’s because of how you look at it. If you have dreams, goals, and aspirations… all you have to do, is start.

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Rediscovering Excitement: Embracing Field Trips as an Adult

It’s almost here. The day you’ve been waiting for. You got your Lunchables packed in your little brown bag, and that’s when you know you have a good lunch. That is if you’re like me and typically eat lunch at school. Your permission slip has been signed by your parents (weeks in advanced I’m sure) and it’s a day off from your routine schedule. It’s possible you might be too excited to sleep, and you’re just looking forward to hanging out with your friends. When that day finally comes, you’re soaking it all in. Whatever trip you’re on to learn, to educate, but most importantly, to enjoy yourself with the wonders of what life offers you. It’s a spectacle. Having a life changing event that you would be more than happy to share with everyone the next time you’re in class.

Now, fast forward many years later to adulthood. What’s changed? Do you still feel that same excitement you had when you were a kid?

When it comes to the working class, we typically follow a routine schedule. Wake up, get your day started, head to work, eat, do an activity, sleep, and repeat. Pretty identical when we were going to school. If we’re not looking forward to the weekend, then it’s the next time we get to go on vacation. Even if it’s just a little weekend getaway. It’s something out of the ordinary. Something that hasn’t personally happen to me in a long time. But that’s probably because my schedule with work is constantly changing. Especially since I’m juggling multiple jobs at the same time. That and the fact that I can’t really afford to go on a field trip myself. Nowadays, I spend most of my extra money on groceries or going out to eat. I really don’t know how my parents were able to raise us kids and have the money they have. I’m right between the lines of surviving and living.

Responsibilities really do get the best of us. I mean once you’re an adult you have so much you have to prioritize with life itself. No wonder field trips happen only so often. But sometimes that’s what you have to do. Take care of priorities and think about something you would like to do. Something that could be educational, yes, even as adults. You’re never too old to continue learning. Take the science museum that I went to as a kid. Unfortunately, I don’t remember the details but I know I enjoyed myself and had a blast. Especially trying to spend as much time as I could with our teacher assistant/chaperone. She was definitely a fox! So anyway, the museum of science. From what I was told, so much has changed since I was last there that if I were to go now, I wouldn’t remember a thing. But there’s a lot that could be learned from just taking the time to experience this event. If not this maybe there’s something else you’ve been putting off for sometime and never have the funds for. But you have to start. Set a goal for yourself. Start budgeting towards this field trip, or vacation, whatever you want to call it.

I was having a conversation with a customer about how they just recently came back from vacation to Pictured Rocks. A destination I would have loved… still would love to go and trying out all sorts of things they had going on in the area. One thing we talked about was how you can have a much different perspective and unique experience kayaking through the rocks. And later on in the day, I seen someone wearing a shirt from the place I wanted to visit. Coincidence or a sign, perhaps?

All I have to do is a little research. Check out everything going on in the area depending on when I’d like to go or at least when I would be able to afford it. What’s it cost to visit for “x” amount of days and start prioritizing towards that goal. For instance, with summer coming to an end, if my goal is to visit next spring or early summer, I can breakdown what I’m able to put away on a weekly basis. Sounds simple enough. Now just have to execute!

What’s your field trip goal? Don’t forget your Lunchables! (pepperoni pizza for me!)

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The Stress of Moving Out

It never really occurred to me why moving out can be so stressful… until now. One too many times I still find myself moving from place to place not thinking when will this temporary living situation be a bit more permanent. It’s been over 10 years now since I left home to what I would say be on my own, except I wasn’t for the most part. I at least had a roommate for most of that time. Only in the past few years was I officially on my own and sadly enough, I kept the empty boxes and added on to those boxes. Nothing has really ever felt like home since moving out. The older I get, the more responsibilities I seem to have and that time to enjoy life just kept getting smaller and smaller. Work from one of my previous employers burnt me out where I spent the next couple of years doing absolutely nothing. And now the time has come where I’m packing my things once again…

The reason for my move this time, and this is not an easy thing to say… but it’s money. If living paycheck to paycheck wasn’t bad enough, I had to deal with car problems on top of that. It was the latest issue that sealed the deal in my moving. Even though life hasn’t quite gone my way lately, I’m not mad about it. The way I see it, this is a new chapter in my life. Sometimes you have to take that step back before soaring forward through the skies (I know, that was a bit cheesy).

What makes this stressful is how even after I had to give my 30 days’ notice that I’m leaving my apartment, I still find myself not taking action. Hardly anything has been packed up and my 30 days are almost up. And I’m starting to feel it. But maybe it’s just because I’m tired of doing this so often, and so many times. And just like every other time, I do have items I tend to sell and donate.

This move will be quite painful for me. I may have to leave one of the jobs I work at, and I really do love it. I love the people I work with, and it’s been such a joy. You know you have it well when work doesn’t feel like work. And unless I’m willing to commute almost an hour just for a part-time job, I don’t know if that’s worth it. Especially with my car running the way it has been. Well, whatever I decide to do, no matter what happens, I will look at this as a new chapter in my journey. Life may not be easy, but I’ll be damned if I don’t get to live it!

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Distractions

Even though you’re in the zone, you can still be thrown off by exactly that… distractions. Life’s biggest issue. Distractions plain and simple, throw us off. They take us off our groove. Our vibe. An idea that has the potential to be something brilliant, can easily be washed away by such a simple distraction. At this point, I’m sure you already catch my drift.

I had an idea that came to me and wanted to share it with whomever. Unfortunately, I was bothered and lost my train of thought which derailed my entire universe. And if that could not get any worse, what else is there?

Don’t get me wrong, when it comes to living alone in an apartment, you have mainly two things: independence and neighbors on the other side of the wall. But from my experience, it’s almost like you’re not living alone, not by yourself. Your neighbors can be incredibly distracting, but you have to do what you can. Distractions are just a part of life. Which is why I know that if someday I can make it and get my own place without walls that have random strangers on the other side of it, I know that I… made it. And that’s what matters to me.

Make the most of what you have to work with. No matter what surrounds you. Life is going to be exactly just that. It will distract you; it will frustrate you, but in the end… life cares about you. Forget the negativity and the bad. Those are distractions that you need to put aside to what really matters. You are the best thing life has given you and it wants you to blossom into something beautiful. Cherish it. Don’t ever take life for granted. As Christina Aguilera has said, “you are beautiful, no matter what they say.” And I stand by that whole heartedly.

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Energy & Life

Life is beautiful. But life would not be what it is if we didn’t have the energy to be able to live it. Energy drives us. Energy makes us. It’s who we are and what we’ve become. Why is it that kids have so much energy compared to adults? In my not-so expert opinion, it’s because they take naps. They have a bunch of caffeine, like drinking a bunch of soda and eating candy. Something that keeps them going for only such a short period of time. Unlike when we’re adults where we do have our caffeine fix but then start to feel the crash in the early afternoon. Naps then ruin the rest of our day or help us push ourselves to work longer late into the night just to do it all over again the next day. But if we don’t take naps then we might just be getting by. Have just enough energy to get us to bedtime but wasting our day without being productive. Unless you live a happy enough life where that is perfectly fine with you. It’s only if you feel like you want more. Want to do more. Achieve more.

So, where does our energy come from? The answer to that is a bit more complicated than it seems. It’s possible that a good mattress will do the trick. Or having a clear mind will get you a good night’s sleep. What I’ve learned is that it very well could be a little bit of everything. Having a good mattress that suits you will most definitely help, and of course, clearing your mind of unwanted thoughts before bedtime. But in my experience, financial situations have made my life more difficult. It is possible that the thought of living paycheck to paycheck is keeping me from getting good sleep. All the more reason for why I have not posted in my blog for over 2 months. That’s just part of life as well. The fact that life can distract you from doing what you love. Draining away your energy without you realizing it. But don’t use it as an excuse. Just consider it an obstacle.

Never forget that life is a beautiful thing and that we are so grateful to have it. To be a part of it. Don’t turn into an adult and erase all the beauty in your imagination just because of your age. Be someone brilliant. You got this!

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What Rejection Feels Like

If this is not your first rodeo, then you already know. But that does not mean it doesn’t hurt. When you imagine both the positive and negative outcome but yet still surprised when it actually happens. That’s because expectations never really play out the way reality wants it to. This is where you prepare yourself to what you know best; your sad music playlist, comfort food or whatever helps get you through your grieving process. At least that’s how I cope with rejection.

It really is a process. Because I’m so used to it, I already prepare myself ahead of time if/when I get turned down. Of course, I’m referring to when I like someone I’m attracted to. It’s a part of my life. Most of the time I don’t even bother pursuing. And to add to the music playlist that I made specifically for this occasion, I do get myself a bottle of whiskey and find something to distract myself, so it doesn’t hurt as much. Sometimes watching a movie or playing video games help occupy my mind, but sadly when I do finish up, I’m right back to where I was.

This most recent time I did try a different approach. First and foremost, I’m not a player, I just crush a lot. And in this particular situation, I happen to like several women that I find myself somewhat close to. A couple of them I actually work with. And that’s not necessarily a bad thing considering I don’t really use dating apps and don’t get to meet people outside of work too often. Literally just looks and smiles when I’m grocery shopping. So, to get to my point, you do have more of a tendency getting to know the people you work with, which brings me to wondering why it’s such a bad thing dating your coworkers.

Business/Pleasure, I get it. Don’t get involved but what if you’re an introvert that doesn’t see too many people to begin with? At work, you build a connection with your colleagues. Some more than others. Yet the most difficult thing you have to deal with is how it might affect your relationship at work when you choose to make the move. I mean, where I work I suppose I could transfer to another store considering I work at a chain corporation? But that’s a hassle. I like where I work and I love the people I work with. But lately, I’ve been watching The Office and maybe I should just do it and put myself out there like Jim and Pam’s situation.

I wrote a letter, well, technically it’s more like a love poem. I wanted to be romantic and have the words rhyme, and it was only a short period of time I wrote this after talking to my work crush. We got into a conversation about how people don’t really write letters to each other anymore, and I wanted to change that. So, we agreed to write each other letters but I wanted it to be more meaningful and chose to open up my affectionate side. The thing is, sometimes we only work together maybe once a week, so I really tried to make the most of our time together. I really do go above and beyond trying to impress her but half the time I’m stuttering and stumbling over my words. Which is something I wrote in my so-called poem.

The thing is, to me at least, it really feels like a 50 First Dates situation. Every day I see her, I feel like I have to start from the beginning to try to impress her. To get her to like me. At least that’s how I look at it. It’s not easy, let me tell you. What doesn’t help is, even though at times my words can be… what some will say enchanting, I will still freeze and have nothing. I’ve been told by several of my colleagues that, I’m ‘rizzing’ with some of our customers, yet to this day, I don’t even know what that means. They tell me some of the customers I talk to are flirting with me yet I’m clueless because I’m just trying to make conversation. And let me tell you, if what I experienced was flirting then it has definitely changed over the past decade.

Flirting or not, if you are I would really appreciate it if you made it obvious to me. I really am clueless if you’re being subtle. And to get back to my point, rejection hurts. But at this point in my life, I have gotten better. I used to listen to what I consider sad songs, but now I’ve gone back to my early past and started revisiting those slow/R&B love songs that expresses my true feelings. I’m a hopeless romantic. And I will tell you more about that… on the next one.

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Dear Me in 5 Years…

assuming you’re alive and well, please… do more. I understand that life has been difficult but it’s no reason to keep you from going after your dreams and aspirations. You gave yourself goals in life but have made no effort to achieving them. What is it going to take for you to start doing? That’s if you haven’t already by this time. I know what you’re capable of and whether you know it or not, you do bring joy to many people. Even if you don’t feel like you have and feel worthless at times. But who doesn’t think that about themselves from time to time? I want you to know that I know you are wonderful and extremely talented. And don’t forget I was also there to witness how impress our colleagues were just from your conversations with the customers. They were entertained by you!

Another thing, I’m also really confused writing in this first-, second-, or third-person narrative, or whatever it is at this point. But at least there’s journalbuddies to help give us this topic so we have something to write about.

Whether or not this might sound cliché, but when you put your mind to doing something, you’re creating a work of art. Granted, not everything you make is a hit. But it’s still art. Good or bad, wonderful or dreary, perfect or the many mistakes you make. That’s what makes you who you are.

So, let’s not do nothing. Start by starting. Before you know it, you’ll be incredibly pleased with the person you become if you just do it.

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Honesty Goes a Long Ways

So, I met this woman who was sitting across the bar from me one night. She couldn’t take her eyes off of me. I know that look when I see it and wanted to find out more. As curiosity crossed my mind, I went over to introduce myself. And after getting to know each other, with a few drinks later, we went back to her place. Just because my place is a mess and I’m not proud of myself. It’s okay though, it’s probably just my depression. Anyway, back to my story. We’re back at her place and continued our conversation with a night cap. I got a little too comfortable where a fart slipped out. As embarrassed as I was, she didn’t seem to mind. Just giggled. Shortly after the smell went away, we hooked up.

Here’s the thing: the story I told, was a lie. And now you’re probably disappointed with me. But that’s okay (maybe), because I’ve had to deal with that one too many times. If you have friends that do this to you often, it makes it difficult to care what they tell you considering you don’t know if you want to believe what they have to say or what stories they tell. So, why bother?

The story that I told, still holds a lot of truth behind it. Apart from going back to the woman’s place that I mentioned, and thus leading to me manifesting the fart part, this was a really short story. Besides giving you a detailed description of my messy apartment, I was just drinking at a bar. So, what actually happened was…

“I was having a drink at the bar and noticed this woman across from me. She gave me this look. I like to call it the look of desire. So, I went over to introduce myself and as we got to know a little bit about each other, my night ended with me going home alone.”

The moral of the story is that I don’t have a clue how to close. I guess it’s just something that I never got over. Always afraid of rejection and lacking the courage to do so. However, I do enjoy conversating with people, especially if it’s a small group or a one-on-one situation. It just feels more personal.

I like to consider myself a people pleaser. I know it may not sound like a good thing, but it’s not all bad though. Just want to shine a little light onto people no matter what kind of day they are having. This whole thing is really about understanding where people are coming from. We all have a way about us that makes us do or say things that can be good or bad. But telling the truth is better than building up one lie after another. And if you want to keep certain things to yourself, by all means. Everyone should be entitled to their privacy. What you want to share is up to you.

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World Peace Day

I have a question. Why is it that peace among worlds, let alone our world, has to be just celebrated for one day? Why not for all eternity? The sad thing is that the way we see ourselves in this world right now, is how we differ because of race, because of sex. Just because someone doesn’t share the same opinion as you doesn’t mean you have to judge them whether they are right or wrong. I mean, how do you know you’re right? We are just sharing our opinions. It’s called a disagreement. Something that I feel is lost in this world. That’s why people are so sensitive nowadays. They take everything seriously. It’s called a debate for a reason.

Of course, we aren’t going to agree on everything. That’s what makes us human. We live and we learn. To this very day, I’m always learning. Learning from my mistakes. The sad thing is, for the most part, nobody told me about the mistakes I made, I just had to figure it out for myself. Years go by and you learn by reading people’s body language how they feel about anything you have said to them, how they reacted from it. It’s not something that you’re taught, but rather, from living. That’s life.

As a species, we have to be better. Don’t let one day define who you aren’t. Let the world know who you are… and you are beautiful. You are exceptional. “World Peace Day?” How about just… world peace?

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