Tag: learning

How Saying Yes Changed My Spiritual Journey

Not so long ago, right after Thanksgiving day, I was approached at home by a couple of sisters from the missionary. My nephew was the one that originally answered the door but started saying some silly things which led me to intervene. I was curious, so I introduced myself. They were incredibly nice and asked me where I stand on religion.

Despite my family being Buddhist and when I was much younger, I do remember a friend of my parents offered to take us to church but I was too young to really understand and retain any memory of it. As I got older, I never really saw myself leaning towards any religion. I just did my own thing really and believed in whatever I suppose I wanted to believe in… and of course, that means Santa Claus! Even if he doesn’t believe in me.

So, when I told the sisters I didn’t have any belief, they asked if I was at least spiritual, which I most definitely am. They were more than happy to hear that. Considering Christianity is incredibly broad with many different denominations, they were Mormon, and asked if I was okay with them reading a scripture from the bible. How could I say no? This ended up leading to where they asked for my number and then offered me the book of Mormon, and that eventually led to me being invited to a Christmas party and going to church the Sunday before Christmas. With all this, I also ended up learning quite a bit about the religion.

But why did I agree to any of this in the first place?

As we started approaching the new year, about a week or two prior to the sister missionaries knocking on the door, I was rewatching the movie Yes Man from anywhere to about the tenth to fifteenth time. Overall, in my opinion, it was a great movie with how simple, easygoing, and of course, because it’s Jim Carrey, its’ comedy and his perspective on showcasing two different types of people in one.

But one thing stood out the most to me about this film: its’ relatability. This most recent time that I watched it, something triggered in me that got me reflecting on my past. The countless times I would have friends and family invite me to whatever it would be that they were doing, I would come up with an excuse not to go, causing me to miss out on so many opportunities in my life. And who knows where that would have taken me to this day.

The reason I feel that I am this way often could be because I like sticking to what I’m comfortable with. Getting out of my comfort zone does raise my anxiety and then I start to feel awkward in my surroundings. I am a bit of a homebody.

So, I took a chance and said yes.

On a weekly basis, I met up with the sisters to learn more about the book of Mormon. Now, other than my reasoning to saying yes, in these last few years alone, I became obsessed with learning. Because there’s so much out there in this world alone, it would be a waste to stay couped up in only so many places. That’s why I had to break out of that.

Being older and wiser (sort of), I wanted to understand more about this religion. So, I took it upon myself to be educated by the sisters. I was very much intrigued, although, when I was asked if I knew anything at all about the book of Mormon, my mind went straight to South Park. I didn’t tell them that. Just let them know that I have heard of it. And from there, the education began and the rest was history, as they say.

Something that I missed way back when, when I was still going to classes in grade school, was that feeling of wanting to learn. My much much underdeveloped mind at the time just wanted to make friends and hangout with them as often as I could. And even that was difficult for me. Especially when you’re typically the quiet kid in school. I couldn’t tell ya how I was able to make the friends I did, but hey, it happened and we all got to hangout as much as we could. It did lead me to constantly waiting to do my homework at the last moment before being due. But I’ll always be grateful for the friends that I made and the memories we shared.

The thing is, you don’t have to say yes to everything. As per the movie. But it’s there to just give you that kick start that you may need to the possibility of something wonderful. And if you don’t want to, you could always just say no instead of making an excuse not to. For me, I’m just getting started and already I got to have this story to tell if I didn’t. Do what feels right in your heart… or gut… or wherever. Whichever you prefer. You got this!

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My High School Experience

As another school year comes to a close, whether you’re just graduating or still have a little ways to go yet, the experience itself is definitely something to cherish. Even if your time wasn’t the greatest, school is a place that’s there to help guide you in whatever it is that you’re searching for in life. Even if it’s not right away. If you ask me, I’m now just realizing what I was looking for, at least during my time in school.

Growing up, I was not too fond of learning. Especially my high school days. Education was a chore. You know it’s just something that has to be done. I was more interested in making friends and playing. All about having fun. And anytime I had the same class as a girl I had a crush on, it was one of the main reasons that got me out of bed in the morning. That sense of being able to see them was all the motivation I needed back then.

As an introvert, it was incredibly difficult to make friends. I had a small circle of friends, but we made plenty of memories with each other. Honestly, I don’t even know how it happened to begin with. Maybe that’s why teachers split their students up into small groups or in pairs. Could be a way for them to get to know one another better. Which makes a lot of sense.

So, because I had a small circle of friends, there were still times when I felt lonely. Like with lunch. We had a lot of students, so lunch was split into 2. And with that, I was almost always by myself. So I ate lunch alone. Never really fit into any groups or felt like I belong anywhere, even to this day. Just another reason why I didn’t care too much about my education, sadly.

It’s not all bad, though. Spending some time to just yourself can be joyful. You are in your own thoughts, or like me, I like to talk out loud amongst myself. It helps me with my speech, and if that day ever comes, public speaking (someday!) Overall, it is a really good opportunity for you to get to know yourself and who you are. If you can be true to yourself and use that around others, they will see the glow that you bring with you to your surroundings.

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Reflecting Back on the Year 2022

Between what has been going on with the world; the Winter Olympics, an invasion turned to war, then fast forward to Argentina winning the World Cup. Yet every single one of us out there are still dealing with our own world. What we have to do on a day-to-day basis whether it’s living or surviving. And that’s life. It moves forward with or without us. Our actions, choices, can determine the outcome if we are able to move forward with life as well. How you face your problems is on you. This is the story of the problems I had to deal with this past year…

The New Year

As 2022 had just gotten underway, I started a new job. Now working as a barista along with being a host at a restaurant, juggling these 2 jobs was very manageable. I still had some free time for myself, but it wasn’t long before I decided to quit my restaurant job. Having been there about 6 months, I became pretty comfortable with myself around several of my colleagues. But something was different. That last stretch that I was there, I was picking up negative vibes. As a host, I only was responsible for so much, yet I ended up doing a lot more than I should have. Every once in a while wasn’t so bad, but this became constant. I didn’t feel appreciated. My last week on the job, my boss wanted to have a 1-on-1 of where I’m at with the job and I told him how I felt. Then, all of a sudden everyone started including me into these conversations with them, yet I still quit. Not sure the main reason why, but the fact it took me having to tell my boss this before seeing some changes, didn’t sit well with me. So, now I was down to one job where I was new to being a barista. Having to learn how to make all sorts of drinks and their computer system took me a while. Actually, I still don’t know how to make too many drinks. They just loved that I was great with conversating with our customers that I was mostly doing that. Which I’m perfectly fine with but it’s definitely not as easy as you might think. Try to have almost the same conversation with like 200 people every day. And that was pretty much it for the remainder of the year. I went back to driving for Doordash after taking some time off for myself. Unfortunately, the problem with Doordashing is that it comes with a cost…

You can make a living by being a Doordash driver. And I won’t tell you that it’s easy, but also that it’s not. The best way to put it, it’s not for everyone. Just like all the different types of jobs within this world. Just about every individual has a job that fits them nicely. Whether or not you like the job, it’s their so you can live, or survive for that matter. The miles do add up, and quickly. Say you put in about 20 hours a week on dashing. Depending on where you live, the miles do vary. And with that, the maintenance needed comes up much sooner. You don’t realize how often you need to get an oil change, possibly tires and your brakes, and yeah, I can go on. This has been my main issue. Without a properly decent running car, it won’t go well for you. I know I’ve had one too many problems with my car this year already, and it hasn’t been easy. I’m just thankful that my brother has been there to get me out of these tough times. Because I’m not sure how I would have to handle some of these situations if I was completely alone. And for that, I am so grateful for him!

Learning The Hard Way

By now I have already let the paranoia take over from my smoking days. I picked up on some things I may have been right about, and some that was wrong, probably. From an old colleague that I believe was preparing to fight me, to thinking some of my closest friends just had it out for me. Sometime after I stopped smoking, I took a real long look at my life. Reflected back on not just the past year, but as far back as I can remember. And without realizing it, I saw myself as a know-it-all. When it comes to so many subjects and topics, I had some knowledge about them. Of course, with that I was almost constantly correcting others or had to put my “ten cents” into perspective. It threw me off that I didn’t know what to do. So, pretty much the next time I was around people, and we would have a conversation, I went back to my old roots that I knew growing up… staying quiet. Unless someone was talking to me specifically about something. Ever since I was a child, I was never too comfortable around a larger crowd or even a small group of people that I would just listen and stay quiet. Learning how everyone acts in their comfort zone. Which is one of the main reasons why I like to consider myself as a lone wolf. Never truly fitting in. But I’m okay with that and don’t mind being by myself. It can be lonely at times but also, it’s quiet and peaceful.

The problem starts when nobody tells you their issue they have with you. But also, let’s hope it’s just one issue and not too many more. I get it! It is extremely difficult to tell someone a problem you have with them that you just cannot say in person unless you’re immediately confronted by it somehow. For those that are able to, good for you. Worst comes to worst, you can always send a text.

You can’t always get something right the first time. With one of my jobs, I have many opportunities talking to customers. For a brief moment, I get to find out how their day is going or maybe seeing what they have planned, and many other options. With some people, I would take the conversation too far down my comfort zone… alright, since you didn’t ask, I told them for some dumb reason, when I see a full moon out, I would howl… yeah, I told them that. Right before they left, I noticed a slight eye roll. That’s when I knew to dial it back a bit. But it’s a learning curve or whatever that phrase is called. I tend to be really good at reading people and their body language, I will notice even the subtleness of signs. Except for when I’m flirting. My mind cannot process that right away. It’s a curse.

However, I am getting better. Every day that I’m given the opportunity, I am working on myself hoping to make people’s day, at least for that moment. But no matter how brief the moment is, if I am able to leave a positive vibe on their mood or can make their day, I know that’s a memory that they can take with them.

Just remember if you’re determined to have a better year, it’s just a calendar. Don’t wait for the year to change. You are given the opportunity. You have the choice. There’s no better time than now.

Hope you have a happy New Year and stay safe!

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A.D.D. And Its’ Origin: The Simple Version

Whether it’s ADD or ADHD paying attention to many things can be difficult. I have a theory that how we are disciplined growing up affects our learning, not just with school, but with life as well. Let’s take schooling for example, I’m in class and the teacher is talking forever and it just seems like it’s never going to stop. The only thing that I’m waiting for next is when we get to start doing an activity. Something where I can be more hands on… but that moment never happens. At least in certain subjects of school. We go straight to paperwork, and I have almost no idea what I’m supposed to do next. This tells me one of two things, that I learn better from doing activities and possibly group projects. And then the other is communication. The style in teaching doesn’t seem to help me out a whole lot and I have to look at it from another perspective.

Blah blah blah then something about the parents or guardians (see what I did there?) of the child and how they are being raised affects their learning in school. Now, it depends on the teacher to point out which of their students are having a more difficult time learning in class. I want to assume that’s why we have Parent/Teacher Conferences. And that’s when we get to things like Extra Curricular activities. Instruments and other things of that nature that doesn’t necessarily involve words to learn opens up one’s skillset. Back in elementary school, I loved learning about pianos and keyboards. Through time, I taught myself how to play a beginner’s version of songs like the Titanic’s My Heart Will Go On, those nursery rhymes, and some of the hockey music you hear at the games. The reason why most Asians are good at math my guess is they were raised more disciplined. Words were not a strong suit of their elders. That’s why when you see in movies and TV shows, nothing the child ever does in school is enough to please their parents. I will say that is a little far-fetched. At least it wasn’t that way in my household.

Another good takeaway from this was when I was watching King of The Hill. There was an episode about how Bobby was diagnosed with ADD and it just hit me like a sack of potatoes. Bobby could not focus or pay attention in school. What he lacked was that verbal interaction and bonding time with his dad. Hank was always trying to avoid doing things with him that didn’t seem to pique his interest. So, pretty much what I’m informing is as a former child of my parents, learning was difficult for me as well. Some subjects I was great at and others, not so much. The lack of communication that I had with my family made it hard to pay attention in school. But I won’t blame them for any of that. I think I turned out alright. At least I can say that I’m well aware of it now.

But it’s not just school…

It’s one thing to speak, to say words, but it’s another to understand it. What do I mean? When I was younger, a child, and I didn’t get to have things my way, I would pout, I would cry. Sometimes I would get hit for making a scene (I was a very dramatic person without realizing it). The thing is, I never understood why I didn’t get the things that I wanted. That was my discipline. I believe that a lot of Asian cultures were like that, and still are probably. The use of words wasn’t a big thing as to parents wanting their kids to graduate from school and get a job or go on to get a degree from college and support the family. Don’t get me wrong, I still want to do what I can to support my family. It just has to be my way, doing what I love, and not having to work until I’m in my 60s at a job with no future. Another thing is we buy each other a whole bunch of scratch-off lottery tickets and hope for the best. After so many years of being disappointed from this, I know that’s not the way I feel I was meant to make a living and be successful. There’s so much out there, and I just want to capture the dream!

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