vegetables – My Life Experience

Unlikely Superhero

“Tonight’s the night… but so is every night. The people in this city grow weary from the constant battle. Why did these powers have to come to me? What did I do to deserve this? But it’s my legacy now…” Our hero himself struggles to rest from saving people one after another. Unfortunately, on this particular night, it’s a 2 for 1 deal at the buffet and sadly, people can’t stop stuffing their faces and grow incredibly constipated afterwards. The hero we deserve, but not the one we need… Constipation Man!

A superhero that helps people poop. By just placing his hand on their stomachs, he can alleviate their cramps. It’s just recommended that they be near a toilet. The people of his city are extremely grateful. It’s not often you can literally be relieved of your duties. But that doesn’t make it easy for our fine hero. Not only is he always on duty, but he can’t fly or travel faster than the speed of light or anything like that. If you’re within a certain range, he can sense it.

He does live quite a sad and lonely life, though. When he first acquired his powers, it was at an unfortunate time. He was on a date with someone and as they were making out, he gently had his hand on her stomach which triggered her to have to go. So, she had to make up an excuse to end the date earlier than expected. This would go on for some time and our hero was completely unaware of the situation. He just thought there was something wrong with him so in a way, he gave up on love.

So, that’s our hero’s life and he has accepted his fate. Saving the constipated because they forget to consume enough fiber in their diets. That and the lack of water to help break down the solids, probably. Just remember to not only kids, but adults as well, eat your green vegetables! Your stomach will thank you.

– From your friendly neighborhood, Constipation Man

June 26, 2023 by davidsnow Categories: Monday MuseTags: batman, constipation, constipation man, duty, fate, fiber, Life, lonely, Love, spiderman, Story, superhero, vegetables Leave a comment

Rewarding Yourself

So you want to be productive, but you don’t know how… I can help! The answer is quite simple, but it’s not going to be easy to achieve. With some thought and planning though, you will be one step closer to being happier and of course, healthier.

Let’s first take a look at what you’re eating. Chances are the food you put in your body determines your daily output in life. That’s why it’s so important to eat your fruits and vegetables. Because they are Earth’s natural creation, they provide many nutrients for our longevity in life. Then there are poisonous berries and greens. I’m sure they have consumed many lives in our past, but we learn from it, even if it’s the hard way. With that, there are still those guilty pleasure foods we just need to have. And I’m all for it. Like pizza, or a big hot bowl of pho. They may not be the healthiest for you, but they definitely are good for the soul.

Now, we’re going to check out the bed you sleep on. This is just as important as what you eat. Know what works best for you. As in the quality of your sleep is much better than the quantity. I’m sure you already know that, but in case you don’t… figure it out! Does a firmer mattress work better for you or a softer one? It’s all about getting yourself into a deep sleep, that REM sleep. Then, once you’re in it you’ll dream of a life filled with everything imaginable to you and wake up feeling so refreshed ready to take on the day. Go out there to capture the dream.

So, just by looking at how you eat and sleep, these are more than enough to get you going towards your better life. Take a moment to yourself, figure out if anything in your life is in need of change so you can thrive for a happier tomorrow. Have you been eating pretty healthy? If so, reward yourself with your guilty pleasure food. Do you wake up feeling refreshed? If not, find out the problem and determine a plan to change that. If you have a baby that’s preventing you from a good quality sleep, that’s something for you to figure out. Sorry, I don’t have kids of my own so I can’t help ya there. Try just these 2 things and see what that does for you. And there’s plenty more where that came from!

October 3, 2022 by davidsnow Categories: Motivation MondayTags: Blades of Glory, dreams, eat, fruits, healthy eating, healthy life, lifestyle, Pho, productive, REM sleep, sleep, soul, vegetables Leave a comment

If Your Fart Smells… Is That Unhealthy?

After many, many years of farting, it finally occurred to me how toxic a fart can actually be. It’s one thing to smell your own fart knowing it’s bad, but at least you can tolerate it. And of course, it’s another to smell someone else’s. A part of me will start to dry heave, almost to the point of vomiting. Actually… I do remember vomiting from a friend of mine just from his fart. Anyway, with my theory on dairy products and just many things acidic, our stomachs have to endure quite a bit of punishment. Breaking down what’s bad and using what’s good to expand into the body to grow. Or at least that’s what I remember from The Magic School Bus about the digestive system. Which brings me to my next point. Since we can all remember (for most of us at least), we were told to eat our vegetables growing up. And that makes so much sense now. Earth grown, natural (I hope) greens from vegetables and fruits that would probably make a healthy sounding fart with little to no toxicity. Isn’t that the whole reason about pineapples? Not just because of Christopher Walken, but it’s supposed to make a little something taste better. I really don’t know, but if it’s to help my digestive system out, I’m game! And that is my theory on farts. Smell ya in the next one!

March 25, 2022 by davidsnow Categories: ShortyTags: Christopher Walken, digestive system, earth, Fart, fruits, healthy, nutrition, The Magic School Bus, Theories, unhealthy, vegetables Leave a comment