Tag: dating

Has Technology Ruined Traditional Romance?

What would life be like for Cupid in this modern age? Do you think that with smartphones and all these dating apps we have, Cupid has lost his desire to bring lovers together the old-fashioned way? What if I’m Cupid in the flesh and as a mortal? Because I’ll tell you, the last time I was sitting in front of my laptop, I banged my elbow against the table in public… and it hurt. Of course, I was trying not to show any emotion but I’m sure the girl sitting across from me noticed but continued on with her work. Why did I even bring this up? … I really don’t know, but let’s move on!

How Has Dating Changed?

It wasn’t so long ago before the dynamic of dating became what we now know it as: mostly through dating apps. Since the idea of smartphones came into fruition, that changed the entire game. But how so? Is it because almost everything is at such a convenience? If so, maybe that’s just a reason to describe us better. I like to consider myself like the cowardly lion in The Wizard of Oz: no courage. Maybe it’s not just me, as in there are a favorable amount of others that are the same way. But when we have our phones, who knows what we’re capable of? One thing I know for sure, we’re gifted with the creation of art. The amazing things that have been done or said just by having a phone in the palm of our hands. That right there gives us the courage we need to make something beautiful and memorable for others to see.

With this, it could be another reason why dating apps are so convenient. Some people have a way with words that could swoon others leading to love. I’m no poet, but someday maybe. Who knows? Let’s just hope they don’t take advantage of it in ways that leads to broken hearts. Unlike myself, I was never good at using dating apps considering there’s actually a lot of steps that are involved. Like how I’m not much of a picture person (which I’m working on) or let alone, taking selfies. Then there’s my bio with what I’d like others to know about myself where I’m making sure I’m not coming off as too creepy… or not creepy enough? Haha, I really don’t know. Some people have some interesting fetishes in this world, and hey, I’m not judging.

Maybe that’s why I have a higher tendency to have more work crushes in my life. Apps don’t work, I am not the type to go to bars to meet women, so what does that leave me with? Well, I did mention how I could be Cupid himself. My birthday is only 2 days apart from Valentine’s Day and I like to consider the month of February the month of love. Even with all of this, I do start to wonder… maybe I’m just not in a place or time in my life right now for love. It’s not like I’m looking or really trying. However, with that, love seems to find me and I believe it likes to see my reaction. Like how I stumble over my words quite often when I’m nervous around someone I like. That or being clueless to the signs that are being sent my way.

Nothing against those who found their loved ones/companions from these apps, because now it’s become the new normal. And even if that’s not how you met, there are other ways of communicating with someone we’re interested in just from our phones altogether. When it comes to love, obviously somethings working. In just the last couple of decades, Earth’s population went from 6 billion to 8 billion. There’s a whole lot of love going on in this world, and maybe that’s why Cupid decided it was easier to stick with apps. He ran out of arrows!

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What Rejection Feels Like

If this is not your first rodeo, then you already know. But that does not mean it doesn’t hurt. When you imagine both the positive and negative outcome but yet still surprised when it actually happens. That’s because expectations never really play out the way reality wants it to. This is where you prepare yourself to what you know best; your sad music playlist, comfort food or whatever helps get you through your grieving process. At least that’s how I cope with rejection.

It really is a process. Because I’m so used to it, I already prepare myself ahead of time if/when I get turned down. Of course, I’m referring to when I like someone I’m attracted to. It’s a part of my life. Most of the time I don’t even bother pursuing. And to add to the music playlist that I made specifically for this occasion, I do get myself a bottle of whiskey and find something to distract myself, so it doesn’t hurt as much. Sometimes watching a movie or playing video games help occupy my mind, but sadly when I do finish up, I’m right back to where I was.

This most recent time I did try a different approach. First and foremost, I’m not a player, I just crush a lot. And in this particular situation, I happen to like several women that I find myself somewhat close to. A couple of them I actually work with. And that’s not necessarily a bad thing considering I don’t really use dating apps and don’t get to meet people outside of work too often. Literally just looks and smiles when I’m grocery shopping. So, to get to my point, you do have more of a tendency getting to know the people you work with, which brings me to wondering why it’s such a bad thing dating your coworkers.

Business/Pleasure, I get it. Don’t get involved but what if you’re an introvert that doesn’t see too many people to begin with? At work, you build a connection with your colleagues. Some more than others. Yet the most difficult thing you have to deal with is how it might affect your relationship at work when you choose to make the move. I mean, where I work I suppose I could transfer to another store considering I work at a chain corporation? But that’s a hassle. I like where I work and I love the people I work with. But lately, I’ve been watching The Office and maybe I should just do it and put myself out there like Jim and Pam’s situation.

I wrote a letter, well, technically it’s more like a love poem. I wanted to be romantic and have the words rhyme, and it was only a short period of time I wrote this after talking to my work crush. We got into a conversation about how people don’t really write letters to each other anymore, and I wanted to change that. So, we agreed to write each other letters but I wanted it to be more meaningful and chose to open up my affectionate side. The thing is, sometimes we only work together maybe once a week, so I really tried to make the most of our time together. I really do go above and beyond trying to impress her but half the time I’m stuttering and stumbling over my words. Which is something I wrote in my so-called poem.

The thing is, to me at least, it really feels like a 50 First Dates situation. Every day I see her, I feel like I have to start from the beginning to try to impress her. To get her to like me. At least that’s how I look at it. It’s not easy, let me tell you. What doesn’t help is, even though at times my words can be… what some will say enchanting, I will still freeze and have nothing. I’ve been told by several of my colleagues that, I’m ‘rizzing’ with some of our customers, yet to this day, I don’t even know what that means. They tell me some of the customers I talk to are flirting with me yet I’m clueless because I’m just trying to make conversation. And let me tell you, if what I experienced was flirting then it has definitely changed over the past decade.

Flirting or not, if you are I would really appreciate it if you made it obvious to me. I really am clueless if you’re being subtle. And to get back to my point, rejection hurts. But at this point in my life, I have gotten better. I used to listen to what I consider sad songs, but now I’ve gone back to my early past and started revisiting those slow/R&B love songs that expresses my true feelings. I’m a hopeless romantic. And I will tell you more about that… on the next one.

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I Don’t Know How To Talk To Women

Before you start wondering, let me take you on a little journey from my past and put things into perspective. Growing up I wasn’t the greatest by any means when it comes to socializing with people in general. And when it comes to girls (especially if I had a crush on them), I would only know them through school, because they were my classmates. Then as I got older and started working, same thing, the women that were my coworkers I would be introduced by someone training me or if I had any questions. If you took those out of the equation, I would most likely get my confidence talking to them from an old friend, Mr. Liquid Courage himself, alcohol. Breaking the ice was, and still is, one of my biggest weaknesses. Whether I see a beautiful, cute, and/or sexy woman (or whatever adjective you want to use), it’s like I get stage freight. Especially if I want to talk to them. Because the truth is, I want to get to know them. Know their likes, dislikes, what they’re passionate about, have arguments over things that don’t matter. Even accidentally slip out a fart every now and then (let’s hope those aren’t on days I have a protein shake).

Anyway, you get the point I’m making. But what seems to be worse than these is what has happened to me lately. Although, I may only meet some women I find myself attracted to at work, it’s as if someone somewhere out there that I would consider to be of a higher power seems to take them away from me. On two occasions both women that I like ended up moving away. And not like down the street away, but to a completely different state. This not long after having a connection with them. But only for a moment I thought I might have been the reason why. The thing is I haven’t tried to make a move, do or say anything to make them feel awkward. They’re my coworker and that would change everything the next time I see them. Or what if it’s because I didn’t make a move? I’m sure that can’t be it. But I digress. Whatever the situation, I’m still alone which can be lonely sometimes. Not to say that I don’t like being by myself but there are times when I really would like to have the comfort of a woman with me. For all I know they could bring me one step closer to achieving my goals and dreams. The motivation that I hate to admit, lack more often than I would like. The drive that gets me out of bed every morning to take on the day with high hopes! But… it looks like I’ll have to do this on my own. I just have to be patient a little longer. I’m sure soon I will be able to find myself much closer to happiness.

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