I’m in quarantine. Shortness of breath. I find it hard to breathe. I’m coughing. Then… the smoke from my lungs clear. That rip from my bowl just put me on another level. As my eyes glisten and become redder by the moment, I sit back on my bed and start watching one comedy movie after another. But then it hits me. I get the munchies, so now I’m in the kitchen going to work. What was I going to eat? At this point in the clouds, I let whatever imagination I had decide for me. And this was pretty much how I lived my life for the next several months.
The first time I ever got high was when I was 19 hot boxing it in Jerry’s car. Jerry was my neighbor growing up since we were just finishing elementary (For me at least. He was 2 years older than me). Between 5 people, we passed around what I thought was a joint and a blunt. I found out later it was 2 joints and a blunt. Or maybe it was 2 blunts and a joint? My mind is a little cloudy thinking back at that moment (pun intended). Either way, that was my first time ever getting high. After a little hindsight, the time we spent sitting in Jerry’s car just on his driveway could not have been more than half an hour. Because to me it honestly felt like we were there quite a while. The same feeling when after Joey and I walked back to my garage, we were just standing in the dark giggling for who knows how long. Joey asked me, “What do you feel like doing?” I told him, “I feel like going for a run.” Never did. The munchies kicked in pretty hard, so I went inside my house and just smashed on what I remember it being a can of Pringles. It wasn’t long after that I went to bed and crashed for the night. The great thing about Mary Jane is that she doesn’t leave you with a hangover. I woke up feeling so refreshed and ready to take on the day.
Going back to 2020 we now had these checkpoints at our work for temperature checking before getting into the building. There was this girl that would check my temperature almost every day. She was very beautiful and cute, and because I never asked for her name, I just referred to her as “Checkpoint Girl.” My situation with her was just about the same as Harold with the elevator girl (Harold & Kumar). I barely spoke to her, only greetings and, “Have a good day.” It was pathetic I know but moving on. After so much time off work and many dollars later spent on Amazon shopping, I had changed my look up a bit. I grew my hair out considering barbershops/salons were closed. That was really nice because I got a lot of compliments from people about my hair being longer. There was only one fellow that didn’t like it. His name… Terry. Terry was my coworker when I first started before moving to a couple different departments. For some reason he just had it out for me ever since I grew my hair out. Every single day he saw me he would always say one or the other, “Get that haircut” or “Where’s my scissors?” and “Cut your hair, you damn hippie.” Seriously, why does he care so much what I do with my life? And I looked up the word “hippie” and… so!? I know why he was this grumpy old man to me at least. He worked with a lot of women in his department and every now and then when I would walk by taking out the trash, I passed them, and I’m sure these women were all saying it. “He’s so hot.” “Wow. So cute.” “Hubba, hubba.” “Oh, I want him to part me like the Red Sea.” Okay maybe that last one was a little much. But I digest (Sacha Baron Cohen). And that was work for me for the next 6 months or so. Dealing with not so Scary Terry, women who would say hi to me that never did before and working all the days of the week.
It’s summer now and I was taking in a bunch of new information from what random YouTube videos my roommate would watch. One mainly was Linus Tech Tips. He was very much a tech savvy type of person. Into computers a lot and convinced me to build my own computer. So much thanks to you Joey for that. It became a great starter computer for playing video games and such but my intentions with it changed. I found myself on a word document with a blank page, and I just started writing from my thoughts and never stopped. My routine was pretty simple with Covid; go to work, come home, smoke a bowl, eat and watch The Office, then start writing on my PC. One day it just dawned on me, I really enjoy watching movies and shows so much that it gave me ideas to write my own stuff for YouTube. So being OCD and a perfectionist, I categorized a lot of my writing for how I was going to make my next future videos. I would end up not making any videos that year due to not feeling like I was in the right state-of-mind. Instead, I just continued honing my writing and then much later going into this year (2021) I would officially start my own blog. I do expect someday I will try to make videos on the Tube more consistently. I have the ideas, just not the will power. But at least I have this!
Because I find myself having such a difficult time being motivated to do almost anything, writing, whether it was on a word document or on a piece of paper, it was easy for me. I would consider myself to be more of an idealist in that way too. But I know there’s so much more I want to offer to the world with what goes on in my mind. Putting the ideas from my mind onto paper, and then in front of a camera, and editing is a lot of work for one person. Especially with working a full-time job and 2 part-time jobs makes that free time for all that I am passionate about that much more difficult to do. When I do get back that drive and motivation, the videos that I want to make would be more than worth it. For now, the least I can do is paint a picture for my audience in wording.