Foods & Drinks That Causes Stomach Pains: The Stupid Version

“Nausea, heartburn, indigestion, upset stomach, diarrhea?” We know the Pepto-Bismol commercial. But what’s causing all of that to happen? Have you ever wondered or never really cared to bother? Whatever your situation, you found your way here so allow me to explain in my own words, what makes you constantly have to hold in your farts… I’ve mentioned in a past post what dairy does to the body. Let’s elaborate a little bit more on other things that causes stomach pains as well. Specifically, foods and drinks. “Well, what types?” of which I’m sure you didn’t ask. Caffeine drinks play a huge role in this. Trust me, I learned the hard way from drinking one too many Mountain Dews and Baja Blasts that led to a stomach ulcer. And then there’s coffee and energy drinks as well. Basically, any acidic drinks. It causes a reaction with the acids in your stomach. Think of acid as a bad thing. So, you have two negatives combined to form a positive… a positive liquid poop spraying out your butt.

The same goes with the types of food you eat as well. I personally enjoy eating spicy foods. Not too much where I can’t enjoy it though. Just gotta find the right amount that works for you. And as Dave Chappelle mentioned in one of his Netflix specials, salt is killing us too. All that sodium that most of us ingest on a daily basis. That and the food you eat is what I believe causes your farts to have its’ own unique smell. I will say that our bodies do need to have some sodium in our diets, just not an excessive amount. Like ramen/instant noodles, it’s so easy to make and eat when you’re on a tight budget. Sometimes it’s hard to avoid it. Although, a lot of these foods and drinks are tasty and refreshing, it still leaves a mark on you. Specifically, your butthole. But hey! If that’s what you’re into, I’m not judging. At the end of it all, just do what makes you happy.

The Worst Week Of My Life

Before Covid expanded throughout the entire United States, I was on the verge of moving closer to my job. The commute of having to drive a longer distance was taking a toll on me. But it wasn’t just that, a lot of it had to do with the fact I was working 7 days a week with no expectations of a weekend, or even a day off. I figured if I had to work every day then I might as well live closer so I don’t have to rack up the mileage, and use up more fuel for my car. About a week before my lease ended, I had gotten a place with a roommate. One day he made lasagna (frozen, not from scratch) and offered me some as I was bringing in half of my stuff from the move. I took a portion of it before heading over to my brother’s place for his birthday. It wasn’t long after I had the lasagna that my stomach was aching quite a bit. At first, the pain was mild but then became much worst when I was getting ready for bed. This was even after I took something similar to Pepto-Bismol. I thought for sure the pain would go away but when it didn’t, this felt like it was going to be food poisoning… until it wasn’t.

Little did I know, the worst week of my life had just started. Before I could even fall asleep, I was lying in bed in agony. The pain in my stomach felt much worse than when I had my stomach ulcer. Lying there awake tossing and turning of discomfort, I was lucky to get 10-15 minutes of sleep every couple of hours I was awake. Little good news/bad news situation, I finally had some time off from work! Unfortunately, I felt like I was on the verge of dying. While I was awake throughout the day, the pain was only just mild. But I couldn’t really eat anything at all. And that’s how the rest of the week was for me. By the end of the second night, knowing this pain wasn’t going away anytime soon, I made a decision to go to Urgent Care. With no help at all from the physician, who recommended me go on a BRAT diet (banana, rice, applesauce, toast), I had accepted death. (Please clear my browser history ehhhhh!)

So, with just a few days left on my lease, I still had a few more items to pack up and some cleaning to do. Even though I was struggling to move around, it was on my agenda and had to be done. After another restless night it was time to go to the ER. I may have spent a few hours there waiting for test results and being put on morphine. The doctors couldn’t figure out what was wrong with me, even after an MRI, but prescribed me with some opioids for the pain. I just could not believe all of this came from frozen lasagna, which I have to add that it was sitting out in room temperature all night before I had some. One of the few things I could think of was that bacteria formed and wasn’t completely killed off after microwaving it. To this day, I still haven’t had any lasagna since. By the end of the week, I was finally starting to get better.

When I was able to move around again pre-lasagna, I had lost about 10-15 pounds in just a week. Most of that being muscle mass. It was difficult for me already just to gain weight, so having lost the amount I did, it set me back quite a bit. The year prior (2019) was my most proficient year ever when it came to gaining not just weight, but muscle mass. I was working out 5 to 6 days a week on average, and just kept pushing myself more and more every day. Looked great, felt good, and was motivated. I could have worked on eating healthier but I was just going for size. Eating quite a bit of fast food and a lot of protein shakes kept that ass jiggling for days. Later on, during the pandemic I would find out about myself that I did have a little bit of an eating disorder. Picky with food and not liking to eat leftovers. It seems like I had an acquired taste for something different every day. The worst part about this is I would end up throwing out more food than I would have liked. Being aware of some of my issues like this, is a relief. Because I know what the problem is, and I can work on it and see what I can do to improve on myself. This was one of the few things I became aware of during the lockdown.

A week after my stomach bug, I was ready to go back to work and get motivated again to workout… and then the lockdown happened. The timing was just impeccable…!