Foods & Drinks That Causes Stomach Pains: The Stupid Version

“Nausea, heartburn, indigestion, upset stomach, diarrhea?” We know the Pepto-Bismol commercial. But what’s causing all of that to happen? Have you ever wondered or never really cared to bother? Whatever your situation, you found your way here so allow me to explain in my own words, what makes you constantly have to hold in your farts… I’ve mentioned in a past post what dairy does to the body. Let’s elaborate a little bit more on other things that causes stomach pains as well. Specifically, foods and drinks. “Well, what types?” of which I’m sure you didn’t ask. Caffeine drinks play a huge role in this. Trust me, I learned the hard way from drinking one too many Mountain Dews and Baja Blasts that led to a stomach ulcer. And then there’s coffee and energy drinks as well. Basically, any acidic drinks. It causes a reaction with the acids in your stomach. Think of acid as a bad thing. So, you have two negatives combined to form a positive… a positive liquid poop spraying out your butt.

The same goes with the types of food you eat as well. I personally enjoy eating spicy foods. Not too much where I can’t enjoy it though. Just gotta find the right amount that works for you. And as Dave Chappelle mentioned in one of his Netflix specials, salt is killing us too. All that sodium that most of us ingest on a daily basis. That and the food you eat is what I believe causes your farts to have its’ own unique smell. I will say that our bodies do need to have some sodium in our diets, just not an excessive amount. Like ramen/instant noodles, it’s so easy to make and eat when you’re on a tight budget. Sometimes it’s hard to avoid it. Although, a lot of these foods and drinks are tasty and refreshing, it still leaves a mark on you. Specifically, your butthole. But hey! If that’s what you’re into, I’m not judging. At the end of it all, just do what makes you happy.

500 Calorie Meal In A Hurry

If you’re a fan of Panera Bread, then this article might be for you. Or if you’re just a food person in general. Either way, welcome all! I wanted to broaden my horizons with my cooking skills. I like to think of The Sims as a guide to help me in real life. Like the food that my Sim creates can look very appealing. You really can learn something from video games. Just need to put in the hours.

On To The Meal!

A pastrami sandwich that is simple, yet a little salty, but has a refreshing taste. And if you’re like me, top it off with a dill spear pickle. I’ve had plenty of sandwiches and burgers that dry out my mouth in which the pickle helps wash that down. This isn’t one of those. Maybe it’s got something to do with the spinach and avocado but either way, the pickle was still a delight to have. Toasted buns always seem to give sandwiches that extra kick for looks and style. Although, I may have toasted it too long because when I actually ate the bread, it cut the roof inside my mouth which is still a little tender at the moment. Or maybe I just don’t know how to eat a sandwich.

I wanted to make a healthy meal, despite the high sodium count from the lunch meats and of course, the bacon. But it’s bacon, so you have to. I used salami and pastrami considering when I was grocery shopping, those were on sale at the time(trying to stay on a budget). But you can use just about any sort of meats you desire. Or keep it vegetarian. The options are almost unlimited. And I was able to make this meal around 500 calories only.

Smoothie Time

Just the perfect beverage to compliment a meal on a nice hot day. Cool and healthy. The smoothie that I decided to go with had both fruits and vegetables in it. To keep things simple and easy, I used frozen fruits mostly. Liquid choice, I went with orange juice. You could also use milk, water or any other beverage you like.

So, something that is difficult for me to say. I have a little bit of an eating disorder, so getting the necessary calories I need daily is hard to come by. One method that helps me is being able to drink my calories. The good thing about this recipe is that it comes with plenty of vitamins and nutrients like potassium, calcium and vitamin C. With the orange juice, this only comes out to roughly 200 calories.

Ingredients/Recipe

Total Time: 10-15 minutes

Sandwich: spinach(1oz), avocado(1oz), provolone cheese(1 slice), salami(4-5 slices), pastrami(4-5 slices), bacon(2 slices), and 2 rye bread. Whether or not you decide to toast the bread, I use a little bit of olive oil to help give it that nice golden brown color.

Smoothie: spinach(1-2oz), avocado(1-2oz), frozen fruits(1 cup), and a cup of orange juice. Very quick and easy to make. I pack the spinach in first followed by the liquid and then top it off with the rest and blend to your liking. No need for ice since the fruits are frozen.

And there you have it! A delicious simple meal and drink at roughly 700 calories. Tune in for more updates to see what else I have prepared from my kitchen. I’m David… until next time.(I still haven’t figured out a sign-off catch phrase)