“He’s talking to himself again.” says the neighbor. “Just ignore him, honey.” their significant other responding. “It’s not like he’s really bothering anybody, I hope…”
The conversation I sometimes think that my neighbors might be having about me. The thing is my home of which is also my office (and the unfortunate part of living in an apartment), is also my sanctum. But I don’t always like to be in my own head, which is why I like to say things out loud. And the beauty of that is it helps with your speech. Especially when you’re out in public or have a job where you almost constantly are talking to people. Someday I would love to talk or perform in front of a crowd. I know it would be incredibly nerve wracking but it’s a goal of mine. Possibly something of a Ted Talk.
Now, getting back to my neighbors, the reason I mention this is that I hear a lot of noise and activities from my surroundings. Half the time it sounds like one of my neighbors is banging on the wall… or ceiling, maybe floor. I really don’t know. When the place is made up of concrete, the noise almost echoes, which makes it all the more difficult to know where it’s coming from. Maybe, as far as I know, I’m not being loud at all. I try to keep my TV volume to what I believe is a reasonable level. I don’t want to consider myself as “that” neighbor.
If the walls just happen to bounce sound that easily where you can be heard, I’m sorry. But there really isn’t anything I can do about that. If not and they are plenty soundproof and it’s just that some people are really that loud themselves, I’m in the clear. Otherwise, hopefully I’m putting on a good show for you. I do try to be as entertaining as I can.
The other thing about talking to yourself out loud isn’t just to practice your speech to see if you’re saying things correctly, but maybe it keeps you from being inside your own head too much. For me, it’s how I like to work. Crafting my passion together but also when I talk to myself, I’m not actually talking to myself. I pretend that I have an audience. Or just another person here with me. What that does is it makes conversating that much easier. But definitely doesn’t make it so difficult which many people do have trouble with. Considering I’m a procrastinating filmmaker, but also my own actor, I’m constantly practicing my speech as well.
With that, as I mentioned before, whether or not I can be heard from my neighbors, I do hope you see what I’m doing as a form of art. Because it is! It’s just taking me a little bit longer to put together a story, a script, the idea to what I want to do. When you do all this by yourself, it is a slow progress. I like to say that my job in this life is to impress the world… and plenty more.