The Time I Became A Stripper

In this phase in my life, I had a difficult time keeping my clothes on. It was just about 10 years ago, right around the time one of my buddies, Jerry, my neighbor who I grew up with for some time had gotten married, Magic Mike had recently been released. Since I didn’t really know his wife too well at the time, I decided to do something special. (oh boy, I’m really about to write this) The reception for Jerry and Janie was on a yacht that we took out in the lake somewhere just off of Detroit. Which by the way was incredible. I had made a request to the DJ to play Moves Like Jagger by Maroon 5 because you know, Magic Mike. It was at that time I proceeded to taketh off my top, dance and sing for Jerry. It definitely brought in quite the crowd. Not that this mattered or anything but it was open bar and I was not sober. But that doesn’t mean I was completely hammered either. Just making memories and having ourselves a wonderful time.

The rest of the summer consisted of house parties my roommates would have with one of our very own, Mario (an old roommate and friend), who was a DJ himself (DJ Fingerblast I believed), just having the time of our lives. More of my clothes would come off at these parties and I just did what I did best. Being half naked. This eventually led to me dancing in front of a crowd of people at an actual strip club towards the end of the summer. How this happened was the job I was working at, there was a guy there that did that on the weekends for a living who went by the name Phoenix. He showed me the ropes a little. My first night there I was only meant to spectate. With the lack of dancers we had, I was asked to perform. I agreed but was really nervous, and unintentionally got hammered and did my thing for 3 songs. This skinny but ripped little Asian guy shaking it for dollar dollar bills y’all for about 10 minutes making $11 in the process. Which by the way, not a bad turnover rate. I later knew I was in no condition to drive so without realizing it, I slept in my car until I had sobered up a bit.

My stripper name… Viper. I had asked some friends to help me with that. They knew I was a fan of Randy Orton and that’s how that came to be. Instead of RKOing people out of nowhere, I was taking my shirt off in front of people out of nowhere… just kidding. But not really. Overall, it was a memorable summer and there wasn’t a whole lot I would change about it. Just another story to tell. The story of how I became a stripper for just one night.

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